Wrong Universe

A look inside the head of a bitter, lonely guy.

No longer needing friends

I am so proud of myself.  It has been a very long time since I have desired any type of friendship.  I have completely stopped contacting my current friends and I feel good about it.

The way I see it, if they are not going to satisfy my needs then I see no value in allowing them to waste my time.   It is just bad business practice.

There is far too much to be done while alone.


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Ugliest City – San Antonio

I would like to nominate San Antonio for the ugliest city in the United States.  I don’t mean the city itself.  It’s fairly decent as far as infinitely sprawling overpopulated metropolises go.  It’s the people.

The people of San Antonio have to be the ugliest around.  The population here is 90% Mexican and I hate to have to be racist, but there’s no other way.  I just got back from getting some Friday Nachos and as I sat in the restaurant, I looked around at the women of all ages.  All Mexican and all ugly.  I looked at the men.  More ugly.  I guess since they are both ugly they appear beautiful to each other.  To me…not so much.  Even the kids are a sad sight.

I think I’ve covered this before but it deserves revisiting.

A few years ago I visited a small town in Colorado.  I was dumbstruck by the number of beautiful people I saw.  I couldn’t believe my eyes.  It was like I had stepped into another universe.  A universe where I should be living.

Here I am back in San Antonio where there’s nothing to see.  I guess I need to spend more time looking at my phone and not at the world that surrounds me.  It works for everyone else.


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Losing interest in Resurrection

rsrctnI have been watching the show, “Resurrection” on ABC.  It started out pretty good.  A young boy wakes up in China.  It turns out he died, like, 20 years ago.  He is brought home to his family where they are freaked out but dubiously accept him.

A few other people in the town who died came back to life too.  It was getting interesting.  How was this happening?

Suddenly it became a robbery and murder mystery.  It is like a dream that abruptly changes completely from one thing to another.  I don’t care about that.  I have little interest in murder mysteries.  Murder is good.  That’s how you thin out the population.

Boring.  Time to delete the season recording.  I’m done.


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Silencing the mail

nomlSomething I learned on my brief vacation is that email doesn’t have to be immediately attended to.  Specifically, the sound of the arrival of a new message.

BLONG!  My iPhone and iPad both chiming out the arrival of a communication.  Back when it was a new thing, it was exciting to be able to be immediately notified.  As the excitement waned to the point of becoming annoying I didn’t realize that it was hurting me.

BLONG!  A lightning bold of anxiety shoots through my body shaking me out of my partially relaxed state.  My heart races as I anticipate the horrible thing that is enclosed in that digital envelope.   99% of my email is not something good.  It is either somebody wanting something from me, spam or automated mail from myself with the status of a server process.  Nothing that I need to immediately respond to.

So what am I going to do about it?  Give up email on my devices?  Well, no.  It is handy but I am going to mute the sound.  I will no longer be a slave to email.  Email will be MY bitch from now on.  I’ll read it when I feel like it.

 UPDATE – Almost a week later

I’m really digging this silence.  I feel less stressed than I have ever felt in my life.  You might want to give this a try.


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Trip Report – Canyon Lake

rvatlkeHaving become unamused with work I decided I would take advantage of some really nice weather and GTFO.

I needed to make use of my new old RV before the weather gets too blazingly hot to even think about going outside.  I took Wednesday and Thursday off and packed up the rig and headed out Wednesday morning around 9:30 to avoid the standard running of the masses.

I’m starting to get a better feel for this kind of thing and did a good job packing what I needed.  I only forgot a few things but managed just fine.

The secret camping ground I picked was only 45 miles away.  About an hour drive.  Strange how close this lake is yet I have spent so little time there.  It always seemed much farther away for some reason.  Unlike Medina Lake, which is virtually empty, Canyon lake was still full since it is part of a rather largish river.

It has been a long time since I’ve seen a body of water larger than my swimming pool.  It was an easy drive and before I knew it I was backing into my reserved spot right next to the lake.  It was possibly the 2nd best spot available.  The best spot was right next to mine and had a nice shady oak tree to lounge under.  Unfortunately it was taken up by a Bus style motorhome.  Boy that baby was shiny and beautiful.  I wasn’t too jealous though.  I wouldn’t want something that big or fancy.  I like my little 1982 Holiday Rambler Imperial just fine.

After setting up and plugging in, I assembled my hammock under the moving shade of the picnic table shelter and read for a few hours.  The breeze was almost cold but enjoyable against my skin.  The sky was a nice blue without a cloud in sight.  Whenever I looked up from my book, I enjoyed the view of the lake.  Certainly better than spending the day in my dark cell at work.

Next I put on my speedo and wandered down to the water’s edge.  The water was bearable but still a bit cold.  I decided against snorkeling and just got myself a little sun.

After that I decided to ride my bike around the rest of the park to see what it looked like.  It is basically a peninsula.  Down at the end was a tent campground.  There were a couple of tents but no people or cars.  I wonder where they went.  The area was completely deserted.  I like that.

The whole park is pretty basic.  The only thing here is what you bring with you.

When I got back to my ship I was hot and tired from pedaling.  Bicycles are so much harder to ride than they used to be.  I think they have changed the way they are made or something.  I need to find an old bike that is easy to ride like the one I had when I was a kid.

I cooled off in the shade and breeze then fixed myself a nice spaghetti dinner.  Yeah, barbecuing is the standard fare but I wanted to do something different.  It was good.

snstAbout that time, the sun was setting over the lake.  I got some nice shots.  I can’t remember the last time I saw a sunset.  At my house, the sun just goes behind the trees and houses.  Not very satisfying.

I was looking forward to the darkness so I could see the stars.  Another thing I don’t get to see much of on a regular basis.

cmpfrI built myself a small fire in the fire ring for a little companionship.

As darkness fell, the moon was about 2/3 full in a cloudless sky.  Had the moon not been out I might have been able to see the Milky Way.  Still it was nice enough that I could easily see Orion and the Big Dipper.

I watched a few planes fly by and even saw a satellite pass right through the handle of the Dipper.  Cool.  Not many people notice satellites.  They look like tiny stars moving quickly through the sky.  Faster than a plane and non-blinky.

When I got tired of stars and fire I went inside, took a shower and watched “12 Years a Slave”.  That looks like a most unpleasant experience.  Glad it wasn’t me.  I easily fell asleep when it was over.

The next morning I woke up with sun streaming through the windows.  I made myself some waffles and read some more until about 11:30.  I wanted to hit the non-rush window between 1-4 when I got back to the city.

It was a fairly relaxing trip.  It would have been much more relaxing had I not been getting texts from work complaining that a server was down.  I ignored them.  I’m on vacation.  Screw that.  I’ll deal with the repercussions tomorrow.  It’s not my fault.  I don’t have anyone qualified to back me up and I need vacation sometimes.

Overall I’m feeling even more confident about my RV.  I worried about it’s reliability considering its age.  It only has about 60K miles on it but sits around a lot.  So far it has been nicely reliable.  I think I will gradually take it to more distant locations.  I already have an idea for my next outing.


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Dreamblog – Lost at the mall

I was lying in bed after just waking up.  I opened my eyes and saw that my bed was in a glass storefront looking out upon a parking lot.  Parked up near the store was an extremely wide vehicle that took up seven slots.  It had a pilot’s pod in the middle and two separately enclosed glass passenger compartments on each side.  It looked like something that could fly.

The pilot was sitting in his seat looking right at me waiting for the store to open.  He got out and walked into the liquor store next door.  I got out of bed.

I had to go to work so I went out to my car.  As I was getting ready to drive out of the parking spot, a woman walked in front of me.  The second she cleared my way I started to move.  She grabbed the side of my car and started yelling as if I had almost run over her.  I accelerated because I didn’t care to stop and listen to her bitch.  I was nowhere near running over her.

The parking lot was crowded so I rather than going down one of the parking aisles I drove to the end of the lot and down the last aisle to avoid the masses yearning to park free.  I turned right onto the street.

I had to make a left at the next light but the left lane was backed up.  I did not want to have to try to merge so I just drove up to the left and turned from the second lane.  I pissed some people off but made the turn.

As I turned, I noticed that the street sign did not have the name of the street I needed.  I knew it ran parallel to the right street so I continued down the road and ended up downtown way past where I work.

Suddenly I was walking inside a large building that seemed to be a combination of mall and convention center.  There were some department stores but the open area was full of crowds of people speaking in mexican.  It was some kind of Fiesta.  There were booths and stages everywhere.

I was lost and tried to find my way out of the thrumming masses.  It was horrible.  I made my way to an information counter.  A family came by.  A child had a small black pet beetle that he placed on the counter.  Some guy picked it up and threw it down on the counter where it broke into three pieces.  Trying to be funny, I yelled, “Cleanup on aisle 1!”  The girl behind the counter responded, “Cleanup at counter 1!”.   Behind the counter was a sign that said, “Counter 11″  so I corrected by yelling “Cleanup at counter 11!”.

I saw a man from work.  I didn’t know him personally but recognized his face.  He saw me as well.  We were both wearing our work badges.  I’m not sure if he knew me or just saw my badge.  He was holding a brand new 5-gallon aquarium with a built-in filter system and asked me for a ride to work.

I had no idea where my car was but told him that if he didn’t mind walking around to find my car I would gladly give him a ride.



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