>A great dream


I had a dream last night. I’ve had lots of dreams but this one was interesting enough to mention here. I dreamt that my father came home. This would be a good trick since he has been dead since 1977. Anyway he was walking around the backyard and garage which he hadn’t seen for thirty years. I was following him around with so many questions about how and why he had built some of the things we were looking at. I don’t think I actually got to ask any questions but it was still a great experience.

Unfortunately it was like a dream in a dream where I realized that it was only a dream and I became paralyzed with distress that it wasn’t real. I was just sitting in the driveway so depressed that I couldn’t move. Now that I’m really awake (I think) I just remember it mostly as a good dream.


>Try something new

>I’m going to try something new. For the rest of this year I am going to try to NOT feel lonely. I think if I set a time limit it will help contain the pain. Maybe for the next few months I can experience what it is like to feel normal. Maybe I will get used to it and banish these feelings of needing someone forever. I don’t know if this is possible. It will take a lot of concentration but I hope it becomes easier as time goes on. It’s worth a try so I don’t have to kill myself.