>Blah blah blah

>As I lay here in bed after a long and pointless day, I think about all the past pointless days and all the future pointless days yet to come. It makes one wonder how one can go on. Is there anybody out there?

>Recycle your cup

>When you go to a fast food restaurant you may get a plastic, styrofoam or wax coated paper cup.
Do you just thow them in the trash as you leave? You can recycle the plastic and syrofoam cups by taking them home and putting them in the recycle bin. They may not accept the wax coated paper cup but think what a difference it will make to at least recycle your plastic or styrofoam instead of just throwing it in the trash. I think restaurants should have recycle bins right there next to the trash can.

Make a difference!

>What is the kiss?

>Though I’m 40 years so, my feelings toward the kiss are much like a small boy. Eww! Cooties! Gross! I have very little desire to touch another person’s mouth with my lips much less my toungue. It is possibly the main barrier to my ability to have a girlfriend.

What is the kiss? Why is it so desired? It seems so pointless to me. It’s not really accomplishing anything other than the spread of disease and nastiness. I accept that I will never know for sure. That’s fine with me. I can certainly do with out it. I don’t really desire a girlfriend anyway so kissing isn’t necessary. I still wonder what the point is.

>Controlling Depression with Repression

> Depression has two possible causes. One is a chemical imbalance in the brain that can be cured by medications and one is frustration caused by an unfulfillable desire. Medication will not work in case two. Are you depressed? Consider the actual cause. There is something you need but cannot have. I’m not talking about something tangible. It is something more. Think about it for a minute. You may not be willing to admit it but there is something you deeply desire with all your being but cannot have. You have to admit it before you can take the next step so spend some serious time evaluating it. Really narrow it down.

Once you realize what is is you want you have two choices. Figure out how to get it or repress it. If you can manage to figure out how to get it. Let’s use friendship for example. That’s my kryptonite. I’ve spent 30 years trying to figure out how to get it but have not succeeded. If you can get it I’m willing to bet your depression will end. In my case I am unable to obtain my desire so the second alternative of repression is the only choice. Make a list of pros and cons about the thing you desire. You may find that the cons outweigh the pros and the whole thing was just stupid to begin with. That makes it easier to repress since it was an illogical desire to begin with. You may realize that you don’t really desire it after all. You just thought you did. If you can destroy the desire you’re depression will go away. If you have multiple unfulfillable desires you must evaulate them one at a time until they are petty and stupid.

Having a friend is one of the most difficult desires to banish. It is in you face every day as you go through morning, afternoon, and evening all by yourself. People like different things and finding the right combination of things in order that your friend be compatible with you is just not going to happen. You’re wasting your time wishing for it so just stop it. Having someone around is a pain in the ass anyway. When you’re independant you are free to do as you please. I really hate the idea of having a friend. People suck and steal your time. There’s nothing worse than having a whole day burgled by someone and get nothing in return. I would be totally happy if I never saw another nasty human being in my life.

How’s that for represson?

.

>How real is it?

>I watch Grey’s Anatomy. I admit it. I’m not really sure why. I’m thinking that it is that I’m curious how people who care about each other act. Is what I’m seeing real? Is it over-acting or under-acting? How close to reality is it that people appear to care about others this much and would react in these ways when something happens to them? I’m serious. Please tell me.

>House in the Mental Hospital

>I’ve always wanted to watch “House” but always had so many other shows to watch. I finally got into it over the summer. I just watched the season premier where House voluntarily checked into a mental hospital.

I’ve always loved mental hospital movies and shows. Strangely enough I’ve often wished I was in one where I could be with other people who have to be there with me. I could make friends who couldn’t leave me or have better things to do than spend time with me. Do you think I’m screwed up enough to get into one?

>My favorite place

>My favorite place in the world is my bed. The master bedroom in my house is the only place I can get away from the world. In order to block out the barking dogs and zooming cars I covered the window with sound resistant siding, sound booth foam and regular drywall. Over that I hung the curtains so it still looks like a window. The result is a really quiet and dark room. It’s amazing at the end of the day to read a book and feel the silence permeate me. The darkness allows me to have night anytime I want. When I build my next house the bedroom will be super insulated and have no windows.

I love to sleep. My dreams are very interesting and way better than real life. There are always things to do and people to be with in my dreams. It’s always a downer to wake up every morning. If only I was in a coma. I could sleep for years and wake up in a new world.