>Steven King’s Rose Red

>I just finished watching the three part mini-series of Steven King’s “Rose Red”.  The movie was a bit lame as far as horror films go but then I’m pretty desensitized. I’ll bet the book is better.  Maybe I’ll read it one day.  It’s about a group of people who go into a haunted house lead by a scientist who intends to wake the sleeping ghosts and study them.  Pretty cool premise.

I know for a fact that my house is not haunted.  A few years ago when I was particularly lonely, I begged out loud that if there were any ghosts to please make themselves known and be my friends.  I was desperate at the time.  Nothing happened.  My house is as dead as the wood it is built out of.  I’m not much different.

>Disabling Comments

>I am hereby disabling commenting on the blog.  Mainly in order to reduce my anxiety about getting none as well as freaking out when I do.  It will also enable me to write more candidly not having to think about what others might think or say.  I think it is better for me this way.

>Suburban noise!

>

I come home from a long day at work hoping to relax.  What do I get?  Neighbor kids playing basketball.  Bang..bang..bang…….. bang….bang…bang…bang..  Then they started kicking it against the garage door.   Bang…bang…BOOOOOOM!..bang…bang..BOOOOOOOM!
On top of that are a million barking dogs, the high pitched whine of a leaf blower, the low rumble of lawnmowers, the ice cream man driving by playing Christmas music in March, the roar of mufllerless cars and trucks zooming around.   How is a person supposed to stand it?  Why are people so noisy? Why are they so inconsiderate?  What sucks the most is that I do EVERYTHING I possibly can to be as quiet as possible so as not to disturb them.  My neighbors don’t even know I am here. I’m begging you:  PLEASE BE QUIET!

>Relax!

>It’s important to learn to relax.  There’s no point stressing over everything.  Eventually everything works out even without your help or interference.  Just let your problems be.  It will all be fine.  Chillax.

>It’s not easy being me

>

I think my problem is that I just can’t find anyone worthy of me.  Everyone else is so common and plain.  But who cares.  It’s a good think I’m independent. Oh well.  One day I’ll come across someone as awesome as me.  Until then there’s TV.

OK.  This post was a bit of an exaggeration but there’s a kernel of truth in there.  I just wanted to use the license plate graphic.  Make your own at: http://www.acme.com/licensemaker/

>A Cold, Uncaring Planet

>There was a noticed outbreak of depression after people saw the movie, “Avatar.”  It is said that people saw a planet full of social beings who lived in a wonderful, caring community.  People left the theaters and felt depression about returning to a cold society full of people who ignore you.  I’m sure Avatar is not the only example of a movie that can make you feel this way.  It’s no wonder why I enjoy watching movies in order to escape such a horrible place into a world where life is better.

I wonder what happened to the Earth to cause people to be so cold.  I think a possible cause might be the way the last few generations were taught as children to fear others.  Stranger Danger!  Sinister Ministers! Trust nobody!  What happens when everybody thinks this way?  You get people who completely ignore you when you crave for them to just acknowledge your existence.  You just can’t reach them.  They avert their eyes as you give them a friendly smile.  You almost want to grab them by the shoulders and shake them yelling, “Can you see me?  Can you see me?”

Even old friends are impossible to reach.  Family too.   For the last few decades I’ve been reaching out to family and friends as best as I can but I get nothing back.   Those who do acknowledge my presence blow off my cries for help.  I’ve tried reaching out to strangers on the internet and get no better response.

Have you seen the movie, “The Truman Show”?  Jim Carrey, without his knowledge, finds out that his whole life is false.  He is the subject of a reality show.  Nothing that he knows is actually real.  I have a serious feeling that that is what this is.  There really is nobody out there.  This whole planet is here so that the aliens who produce the show can watch me and laugh.  Everything and everybody around me are just holograms.  (Turns to camera and shoots the finger.)

If that is not the case and this planet is real then it is truly a Cold and Uncaring Planet.

>Proof that I am getting better.

>I now have proof that I am gaining control over my loneliness problem.  This week my lunch buddy at work has been on vacation.  This normally means that I am completely devoid of any meaningful contact with humans.  I just realized today (Thursday) that I have been feeling fine about it.  I even enjoyed it because I was able to eat lunch at places he would not go to for health reasons.  Instead of slipping into a lonely depression I feel normal.  This is such a good thing.  This proves that I am getting better and can look forward to a relatively happy summer.  I can almost label myself as “happy” now. Something that I considered utterly impossible just a few months ago.  Living in the moment really can do wonders.