>Lessons Learned and Re-Learned in 2010

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I’ve learned many lessons this year.  Some were re-learned because I forgot.  Here are a few that I can remember right now.

1. Never invite friends and family to your band concerts.  Nobody will show up and you will be devastated.  I’m in the band for myself.  Not for others.
2. Don’t attempt to find a friend.  It just causes stress and pain.  There is nobody out there like me and I have to remember to be satisfied with that.  I am perfectly happy by myself.
3. Don’t think about how pointless your life is and that you are wasting it away sitting in an office all day.  Everybody does it.  That’s just the way it is.  Be satisfied that life is good enough.  None of it will matter after you’re dead.
4. Don’t attempt to find a better place to live.  Looking around just causes stress and disappointment. Where you are is good enough.
5. Don’t worry about things you aren’t getting done.  In the long run they are minor and really just don’t matter.
6. Take time to enjoy the little things in life.  The grass, the trees, the air.  These are the things that matter and make life worth living.  I plan on trying to list at least one good thing ever day.
7. Don’t waste time on Facebook.  Nobody there is real.  Pretending like these people are your friends is a set up for depression.
8. Don’t worry about what other people think.  They obviously don’t. They can’t see you anyway.  They’re all in their own little cell-phone based world. Do whatever you want.  Life is short.
9. Mexican food is not healthy.  Avoid as much as possible.  Around here you can’t swing a cat without hitting a mexican food restaurant and it is sooo good but it’s not healthy in any respect.  I want to get off my cholesterol medication and control it naturally.  That means excercise!
10. Remember the lessons you have learned.  It’s like that old saying about those who don’t learn their history are doomed to repeat it.
11. Don’t share anything you think is awesome with anyone else.  They won’t appreciate it and it will be come less awesome.
12. Don’t look for sympathy from others.  They don’t have any.

>New Years Eve Plans

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Well, it’s New Years Eve again.  This seems to happen way to often.  It’s a time where you realize that it’s about to start all over again.  Kind of like Groundhog Day. I pulled my old fireworks stash out of the closet and was surprised that I had some pretty good stuff left.  Popping fireworks is illegal in the city limits but fireworks is what  new years is all about.  You can’t make water illegal.  People need it to live.  Same with fireworks. I’ll watch TV until midnight, go out and pop some then go to bed.  It’s as good as it gets.

>An old memory and an analysis

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Here’s an oldie but a goodie.  It’s a memory that haunts me still. I wasn’t sure I should discuss it here but decided I should let it out so it doesn’t eat me alive.
Back in High School I was called on the phone by a girl who asked me to go to the senior prom.  Now any normal guy would totally say yes.   She was the drum major of the band.  Even though I don’t think we ever spoke a word to each other she actually wanted to go to Senior Prom with me.   Of course I was just as clueless about women and being social as I am now.  I had not even thought about attending such an event.  Proms are for normal people not stupid dorks like me.  I made excuses about not knowing how to dance and basically blew her off.   I TOLD you I was clueless!  I hope I didn’t hurt her.  I feel really bad about it 25 years later.  I imagine it takes a lot of courage for a high school girl to ask a guy to the prom.  I have to attribute it to being totally caught off guard and being an overall dumbass.  I’m really sorry, Rhonda.  I hope you can forgive me.  I hope you found somebody better than me to go with.  I was not worthy in any way.

To this day I am not significantly less clueless than I was back then.  I think it was around middle school when I had made the decision that I had no chance with the ladies and would just not deal with it.  I would not even try.  I was fine with that because I was still young.  I had hundreds of years left to worry about that.   As I grew up I never really got to the point where I made a conscious decision to change.  Now I’m just a little boy in a 42 year old body who still has no clue.  I think I blame it on my dead father.  Not having a manly figure in your life is surely not a good thing for a growing boy.

My friends were much like me.  They didn’t have girlfriends or boyfriends until after graduation and we no longer saw each other.  Even they were not helpful in this way.   I was on my own with nothing to refer to or model my life on.  Everyone was in college or gone so I never saw them again.  I became a hermit and turned bitter and angry.  Even now I cannot picture myself with a girlfriend.  Like a little boy, I think kissing is gross.  Ewwww!  I wonder if there’s any hope for me.  I’m even to the point of being terrified of getting into a relationship because I wouldn’t know what to do.  I’m not the kind of person a girl would want anyway. I’m far too mental.

My plan is to wait until I’m an old man and see if anyone in the nursing home is desperate enough to love me.  Better yet, I’ll get Alzheimers and won’t care.

Well, that was more than the required analysis of the memory but it all links together.  This is more than I have ever shared before.  One shouldn’t keep it all inside.  Bad memories are like plutonium.  They have long half-lives and can be deadly.

>Trees on Antarctica

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I just watched Nova tonight on PBS.  It was about an expedition to Antarctica to drill ice and rock cores for analysis.  They found leaf fossils and actual pieces of tree branches.  There once were plants and trees there!  Ice and rock cores indicated regular warm and cold periods.  We are heading into a warm period now where the ice will melt and the oceans will rise about 25 feet.  I hope you’re ready.  The evidence is overwhelming.  I, myself, even found sea urchin fossils in the Texas Hill Country.   There’s no doubt about it.  Don’t be a zombie.  Be prepared.

>Cracking down on DWI

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The San Antonio Police report that they plan on a permanent crackdown on drunk driving.  I applaud their efforts but they are wasting their time and my money.  Busting drunk drivers is only treating the symptom, not the disease.  As long as people are allowed to participate in the national pastime of drinking as well as the national pastime of driving there is nothing that can be done.  Why do we allow people to drink alcohol?  Other drugs are illegal.  How much time and money has been spent on marijuana?  The number of deaths caused by marijuana is tiny compared to the millions killed every year by alcohol.  The solution is to make alcohol illegal and spend the money busting people who have it and sell it.  Bring back Prohibition and make this country a better place.  Our priorities are so screwed up here.

>New Years Resolutions

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I’m not much of a new year resolution kind of guy.  I see little point in making a promise that is destined to be broken.  I think I might try one this year though.  In my ongoing struggle to be more positive I plan on attempting to find at least one thing every day that is good.  In a world full of bad it will be difficult but I think if I try hard I can do it. I better add a note to my bathroom mirror to remind me of this every morning because I’ll easily forget.  Wish me luck.  Maybe I’ll blog them.