Social Anxiety – A Vicious Cycle?

Pretty much 99 percent of the time after being with other people I experience a feeling of regret.  Like it would have been much better if I hadn’t interacted at all.  Perhaps a stupid thing I or someone else said or did comes to mind.  Maybe just a feeling of disappointment.

It feels less like Social Anxiety and more like Post Social Remorse.  So now I wonder if the Post Social Remorse causes Social Anxiety or the other way around.  Does anyone have any thoughts on this matter?




What exactly is Evil?

In our highly judgemental society you often hear people referred to as “Evil”.  People like Hitler, Stalin and Muslim Terrorists are always labeled as Evil.  When I hear this it make me feel like it is extremely subjective.  Evil, like beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Let’s take Adolf Hitler for example.  Yes, he masterminded some horrible things but from the Nazi point of view, he was not “evil”.  Germany was in bad economical condition and the country was looking for a way out.  Hitler had a plan to make the country great again.  Had he done it without exterminating the Jewish People, perhaps just deporting them, his plan might have made the country truly great.  I’m not saying that the Jewish People were the problem, but had he managed his plan humanely and was therefore unopposed by other countries than Germany might be an awesome superpower.  He had great infrastructure plans and having a homogeneous culture would be advantageous. Well, he was planning to take over all of Europe which certainly wasn’t nice and there was the extermination thing so I guess he was pretty close to evil.  OK.  Bad example.

Let’s look at Muslim Terrorists.  To the U.S. they are “evil.”  To their countrymen they are patriots trying to maintain the changing standards of their lives.  They are not evil, just poorly organized.  They consider the U.S. to be “evil” because of our interference.  It’s all in your point of view.

I had other good examples in mind earlier but they are gone now.  You get my point though.  The overall theme here is that force is always considered evil by the opposition.  So mind your own business.  Nobody likes others to tell them how to live.  Think how you would feel if the situation was reversed.

Shock Pen

I was just watching American Chopper, one of my many favorite shows.  It was a prank special where they showed clips of some of their pranks on each other.  One was a shock pen.  They got Paul Senior twice in one day with it.

It made me think about the fun I could have.  I went to Ebay and bought five of them.  I’m going to just plant them around the office and see what happens.  I’m considering becoming a secret prankster.  They will never suspect me.  I’m too uptight.  It might help me loosen up a bit.

What am I?

Every once in a while I will, in retrospect, catch myself not being a very good person.  Today a co-worker asked me to help him move two large monitors into the hallway.  I had already called to have the old tech taken away but he wanted them out of his office right away.

He would pretty much bend over backwards to help me but I told him he could wait for the guys or move them himself, which he did.  My back was hurting from a whole day of manual labor.  His back is even worse than mine.

I feel bad now.  Tomorrow I will apologize to him.  Decades of loneliness has made me a serious bitch.  I’m not very good about thinking of others.  I won’t even buy Girl Scout cookies from a neighbor or suggest to others that I can help them if they don’t ask.  I’m such an ass but then I don’t have a lot of experience with humans.  What kind of monster am I?

Dreamblog – The Shooting


I woke up this morning about 7:00 and began to get ready for work.  I heard some talking and construction noise outside so I looked out the front window.  There was a large black pickup truck parked in my driveway and a car parked in the street.  The house next door is vacant so I figured it was the old owners doing some maintenance or new owners getting ready to move in.

Someone walked across my yard with a hose and a sprayer.  I didn’t want them to know I was watching so I crouched down and watched out of the corner of the window.  Two young guys walked across the street to my other neighbor’s house and shot a handgun into the open garage.  My neighbor came out to see what was going on and they shot him.

I looked around and found a pencil laying on the floor.  I grabbed it and tried to get license plate numbers.  The truck was parked too close to my house for me to see the number.  One of the guys got in the car and backed out.  I was able to see the plate and I attempted to write the numbers on the tile floor.  The numbers were long and full of weird symbols.  I wrote them as best as I could.  The other guy got into the truck and backed out a little then stopped.  I could easily see the plate but the numbers were, again, strange and long.  I wrote them down anyway.

They drove off and my neighbor’s wife came through my front door to see if I had seen anything.  I told her I had the license plate numbers.

My wish has been granted

The other day I made a wish for some cold weather.  It has been a LONG and trying summer of 55 over 100 degree days.  I thought I was going to die.  Finally we are getting some cold weather to make up for it.  It may actually be below freezing tonight and cold all week with highs no more than 67.

This has been a long time coming.  I am so enjoying it.  I haven’t even turned on the heater in my house.  I like it nice and COLD!  I think I would do well up north.  The heat and drought in Texas is actually killing me.

I think I may be the Snow Miser reincarnated.  It is so nice not to be hot.  I can’t tell you how much better I feel.  I hope the winter never ends.  I can’t go back to summer.  I just can’t.  It’s bad.  Evil, I tell you!

How to remember your dreams

Ever have a dream during the night but can’t remember it in the mornin?  If you wake up right after having a dream there are a few techniques you can use to help remember it for later.

One technique is to go over it immediately in your head like you are retelling the story.  This way it will be easily recalled later.  The only drawback to this system is that you may then be too awake to go back to sleep easily.

Another technique is to quickly associate the overall theme or even just a portion of it with something you can remember or with something you will see or experience the next day.  This provides a trigger point to help you recall the whole dream later.

Both techniques have worked well for me to be able to remember my dreams in great detail.   You can read a few of my dreams and see what you think.