Four kinds of Frustration

It’s Friday evening and I should feel happy and free but instead I have four kinds of frustration going on at the same time.

1. Sexual Frustration –  I’m not getting any.
2. Weather Frustration – It’s hot and humid.
3. Temporal Frustration – The weekend is extremely short.
4. Vacational frustration – I need to get away but have nowhere to go.

This really sucks.  I feel like I’m going to cry.  Why does it have to be this way?

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Fix your acne for free

Are you having trouble with Acne?  Pimples on your face and body?  Don’t fall for the expensive pharmaceutical fix.  The answer is right under your kitchen sink.

Scotch-Brite sponges are cheap and effective in bringing back your smooth complexion.  I’m serious.  You may be thinking this sounds crazy but it’s not.  Not long ago I was getting my hair cut and the girl asked me what I use on my face.  She caught me by surprise and I was like, “Nothing.”.  She said I must have naturally smooth skin.  Had I been prepared I would have told her my secret.

Get yourself a clean sponge/pad and use plain old soap.  Yes, Plain soap like Coast.  None of that oily soft-skin stuff. Oil is your enemy.  Dry skin is healthy skin.  Don’t fall for the moisturizer thing either.  You’re being played by the big pharmaceutical companies.

Rub the soap on the pad.  Lather your face as well.  GENTLY at first scrub your skin. Exfoliate.  It will hurt a bit at first so take it easy.  After using the pad a few times it will not be so sharp. That’s all there is to it.  You want to remove oil and dead skin.  Your pores will be clean and healthy.

Don’t use moisturizer afterwards either.  If you face feels dry and tight, that’s good.

You have to at least try this before you say no.  I promise you will thank me.

Reading outside during work

I was bored at work again.  Absolutely nothing to do.  It was a nice day so I took my e-book reader outside after lunch and sat under a tree from 12:30 to 4:00.  I got a lot of reading done but this book is incredibly long.

I’ve done it before but few people even noticed.  Today I got lucky and the boss walked by and saw me there.  I was disappointed that he didn’t seem upset.  He made some weird non-related unintelligible comments. Something about chlorine.  I almost never know what he is talking about.  I was hoping he would be angry at me.  Trouble is a form of attention!  He didn’t appear angry but maybe it will turn up later.   I’ll wait and see.  I plan on doing the same thing tomorrow if the weather is nice.

My reading tree is right outside the on-campus clinic.  The nurses there know me.  I used to be in charge of their computers.  An employee I didn’t know came out of the clinic and told me that the nurses want a job like mine.  Cool!  It’s nice to be noticed.  Maybe somebody there will spread the word around that I am doing nothing.

Why am I doing this?  Boredom is really hard on a guy who can do anything.  I’ve tried doing some great projects on my own but they often end up like pearls cast before swine.  I just gave up and now I’m just bored.  I am hoping someone will either give me something exciting to do or fire me.  Either one will be satisfactory.  Otherwise I’m going to see just how far I can push this.

The next step might be to sit at a table outside the director’s building for a few days.  It’s right across a grassy area from another division’s director’s office and a lot of people who might notice.  I’ll bet nothing happens.  It’s a great experiment in being bored and interesting at the same time.  I should set up a hammok. The weather is starting to get hot so I won’t be able to be outside much longer.

 

Dreamblog – Pipe Dreams

I was driving to work but I was in a different part of town.  I came up to a highway intersection but the roads turned into pipes.  I didn’t know which one to take to get on the highway in the right direction.  I chose poorly and ended up coming out of a pipe down underneath the pipe-spaghetti.

There was an information desk there so I got in line. (I don’t know where my car went.)  President Obama was there and he asked if there was an easy way out for him.  They told him no and he started to walk away.  I said, “Awwww!”  He turned around smiling and said, “Awww!”  At least he didn’t try to kick my ass again.

Sandra Oh from Gray’s Anatomy was in front of me.  She said she needed new ball joints and needed someone to meet her at the airport.

It was my turn at the desk but I couldn’t remember what was wrong with my car.  Was it a flat?  Was it ball joints?  I had no idea.   I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked behind me.  Some young asian men asked me if I wanted to smoke with them.  I told them I would love to but had to get to work.  Worrying that they might try to pick my pocket, I put my hand in my back pocket to protect my wallet.  One of them was already removing it from my pocket.  I kept a tight grip on it and kept turning it in his hands trying to get it away from him but he had was holding on tightly and looking through it as I kept trying to wrench it away.

I woke up.  That sucked.

 

How Ugly Am I?

Ah,  The unanswerable question as old as life itself. “Just how ugly am I?”  The question asked by teenaged girls and middle-aged men living all by themselves in the empty darkness.

You can never expect to get a true analysis of your ugliness.  Ask a friend or relative and they will tell you that you are the most beautiful being on the planet.  Ask a stranger and they will think you are crazy.  Ask the internet and they will tell you that you are the ugliest ogre ever born.  Either way, you can never know the answer.

A person cannot even look in the mirror and determine their own ugliness level.  You know what you look like but you really can’t make the decision.  Beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder but immune to self-beholdage.

So how does a person know how ugly he or she is?   Unattractiveness must be calculated by observing things like number of friends, presence of a spouse, number of children and eye contact and smiles from strangers.  There’s probably a formula here.  Too bad I didn’t pay attention in Calculus.

I have to surmise that since the quantity of listed items that I have are small that my ugly level is quite high.

There is quite the industry in providing products and services to reduce your ugliness level.  So many people have gotten rich off the human condition.  There is much you can do to reduce your ugly but in the end you come out looking like a clown.  You can’t cover up ugliness.  It shows through the thickest makeup and vulcan eyebrows.  It’s just something you have to live with.

There really should be a matchmaking service for ugly people.  I think the ugly would actually be happier than the beautiful because they can spend more time experiencing the beauty of life and not spend so much time on the beauty of themselves.

 

Dreamblog – Magnetic Execution

I was living in my childhood home again.  An old friend who now works for the government came in with his assistant.  He was there to execute me using some kind of new magnetic machine.  I obviously did my best to persuade him that I was an intelligent person and had value to the government.  I’m not just some zombie taking up space and resources.  After much convincing I told him to think about it for a while.

He came out of the bedroom a little later and told me he “executed” his assistant instead.  He said, “He would enjoy his time in the middle ages.”  I said, “Wait.  What?  It’s a time machine?”  I would have willingly gone through it if he could send me back to the 50s.   Damn!   I would have gone!