National Day of Prayer

I just found out that today is the National Day of Prayer. It’s the day where we make our demands to the great wishing well in the sky.

Oh Lord, please give me everything my neighbors have.  I don’t want to have to go out and get it myself.  Please heal everyone I know because there is plenty of room on the planet for people not to die.  Also help our soldiers who are off in other countries enforcing our twisted will upon others.  Oh, and thank you for the bounty that I went out and worked so hard for all by myself. I won’t bother you about the Texas drought because I know you don’t care about that.  Extra thanks for making me live all alone in emptiness and depression.  Please kill me now. Over and out.