Another birthday looms on the horizon. I haven’t enjoyed my birthday in decades. Not that they were bad, just not what I need. I usually get together with my mom, sister and aunt. We often meet at my sister’s house just so I can get out of town. We do lunch, sit around then come home. Yay.
I don’t know how I want to spend my birthday anyway so anything is better than nothing, you know? Well, I know how I want to spend my birthday but I’m not allowed.
To make it worse this year, my birthday falls on Mother’s day. My brother and his wife invited us over to their dog-filled crap-shack for lunch. I don’t like them much so it is going to really suck. But that’s OK. It’s not about what I want. It’s about what people tell me I have to do.
To make it even worse, it’s my 45th birthday. It’s the year of Armageddon for me. I promised myself years ago that when I was 45 everything is going to change whether I am ready for it or not. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. I’ve wasted half my life doing absolutely nothing. I’ve been in forced-denial for a long time in order to get by. I have twelve months now to end it all.
That also gives you twleve months to help me. Will you do anything?
Update: I just found out I’m 44. I guess that gives you an additional year.