This morning the alarm went off and I didn’t care. I finally dragged myself out of bed, got dressed and went to work. I got there about 9:30 instead of 8:00. The boss saw me walking in and I didn’t care. He asked me how things were going and I told him things suck. My job is killing me with boredom. He had no advice for me.
After lunch I finished watching the movie I started earlier then got up and went home. I didn’t care.
I got home and mowed the grass and attempted to prevent the rust on my front door from growing back by giving it a coat of polyurethane. Don’t know if it will work but if it doesn’t then I’ll need to get a new door.
I spent the next three hours searching in vain on the internet to find people like myself. You would think that with a whole world out there I could find people with the same interests but eventually became frustrated and angry that nobody shares my loves or writes negatively about them.
I don’t know why I bother doing that to myself. I know I’m alone on this planet but something keeps making me hope. It’s a pointless endeavor. I thought by starting this blog so many years ago that someone would find me. Nothing. 1,235 posts later and I might as well have not bothered. There’s nobody out there except zombies and robots.
People talk about hope all the time. I never understood what they were talking about. Maybe now I understand. But they are wrong. There is no hope. Hope is a delusion with which we cover our heads to protect us from the darkness.