My own obliviousness is sickening

Today I nipped out to my favorite nacho place for some half price nachos during their “Happy Hour”.  I was thinking what a great deal it was to be able to have a big plate of nachos and a huge drink for under $4.52.

As I was emptying my tray in the trashcan by the door I noticed that an old asian woman sitting nearby was speaking to me.  I couldn’t hear her so I bent down to try to make sense of what she was saying.  Even up close I had a hard time understanding but she was saying something about seeing everyone eating and she was hungry too.  I kind of smiled the “a stranger is talking to me” smile and continued on out the door.

It wasn’t until I was about halfway home that I realized that she was probably trying to tell me in a nice way that she could use some money to get a meal.  I could have easily given her the ten dollars I had in my wallet.  Now I see panhandlers on all the highway intersection corners and it is well-known that many of them are pulling scams or just planning on wasting it on alcohol.  I don’t have a problem passing them by but this was an old woman with a backpack.

I feel really bad that I am not more observant or attentive to others.  My ignorance of others comes from their ignorance of me.  As I drove my prius home to my huge house of anger where I spent the whole day today because I was sick of my job, I felt even worse.  To see an old woman in a state of homelessness makes me both sad to the point of crying and angry as well.  How could her family allow such a thing?  You don’t often see asian people without a caring family.  It is one of the things I most admire about them.

There’s nothing I can do now but I can hope to pay a little more attention in the future because I make myself sick.