As I was having lunch today in one of the numerous Subway sandwich shops in my neighborhood, I listened to the radio that was blaring loudly throughout the restaurant. It seemed to be on a love song station. Of course I’m willing to bet that the majority of songs are based on love.
It made me think about love itself. What is it? It is actually a thing or is it just a construct we use on the path to sex? I’ve never experienced love myself so I find it difficult to comprehend. Personally I desire sex but not love. As a logical being I see love as a tool rather than the machine.
When I see people kissing and hugging in public I try to make sense of it and all I can come up with is they are just pretending so that they will stay together and have sex later. Do they ACTUALLY love each other?
I’ll never understand love. I’ll never experience it. I have no love inside me at all that I can detect. I can only guess that through the 44 lonely years of my life, the ever-increasing hate I have cultivated for my fellow human beings has slowly calcified my ability to love or feel affection. I wonder if it is possible to change and what it would take. I can’t imagine.