After discussing my misery with my mom the other day I didn’t really feel much better. I still don’t want to leave her on her own at 84 while I try to make myself less miserable.
I took Monday off and spent the whole day in bed. I didn’t want to think or talk to people or even see the sun. (I hate the sun).
I took a Tylenol PM every six hours to help me sleep the day away. I enjoyed that very much. The window in my bedroom is boarded up to keep the sun out so it was midnight dark all day. A/C cranked down to 67 and ceiling fan on high, I pretended it was winter and got out my winter blanket. I might do this more often.
Tuesday is my sister’s birthday so I took another day off. I picked up my mom and drove to Seguin to my sister’s house where my aunt met us. We went out for lunch and I spent the afternoon installing the reverse osmosis system we bought for her birthday. It was nice to be around people who love me. It is something I so seldom experience that the love drains away and all I have left is anger and frustration. If there is a down side to living alone, this is it.
In the end I feel much better. I’m going to try not to think about my future for a little while. It is good to take a brain holiday sometimes.