I don’t know how to be bad

I was a good kid.  I felt that it was always the right thing to do.  I think, perhaps, it began as I attended sunday school for my weekly brainwashing.  The bible teaches us to be good… Or else.

So I was good.  I had no problem with being good.  It is right to be good.  Why would you not be good?  Do unto others as you would have them do unto you is good no matter what religion you are.

Since I was good, that means no drinking, no smoking, no bad stuff.  Since I don’t drink, I missed out on being a proper teenager.  I didn’t learn the social skills.  I didn’t make the contacts. I became more isolated.

It’s both funny and a shame that human life is centered around alcohol.  I’m 44 now and I have no interest in alcohol.  Having not acquired a taste for it in my formative years I find it disgusting and stupid.

When I was a kid, I did as I was told.  I didn’t do bad things because they are bad.  I just realized the other day, as I drove by a convenience store, that I am old enough to buy Playboy.   Of course why buy that when you get better stuff on the internet for free but the idea is striking.   I’m 44 and still feel like a good little boy.

Being good doesn’t fit in well on this planet.  Bad is preferred here.  Women like bad boys.  Bad boys have more fun.

I wasted my life being good thinking that it would get me ahead but instead it left me behind.

I’m not sure what to think about this.  What does it say for human society?  What do we teach our children in order that they not be good so they will fit into society?

Where are we heading on this path of baddness?  I’m not sure I want to go on this ride.