Why I don’t get any exercise

bktrdWhenever I see my doctor he asks if I am getting any exercise.  My answer is always no.  It’s not because I don’t want to exercise, it’s because it sucks too much.  Here in San Antonio, you can’t go out and ride a bike, walk, run or play sports because it is 110 degrees and humid as hell.  Nope. Outside is bad in the summer.

Well, today it is December 1st.  It is a sunny, 74 degree, semi-humid day.  I thought I would ride up to the redbox and pick up my Men in Black 3 blu-ray.  I put on my shorts and tank top and hit the road.  It is only a one mile round trip but there are a number of hills.  It took me 30 minutes to get the disk and get back to the house.  It was extremely difficult getting up the hills and going around the cars parked in the bike lane hoping not to be run over by the multitudes of cars being piloted by people with one hand up the their ear.  I was amazed how many people were talking on the phone while driving.  Who are they talking to??

I finally made it home and immediately ripped all my clothes off and stood under the ceiling fan on high in order to evaporate.  If you can’t be cool outside in December then you can’t be cool at all.  I’m never going to do that again.  Riding a bike just plain sucks.

And that, Doctor, is why I don’t get any exercise.  I would rather die of poor health than exercise.  Screw that.