It is possibly presumptuous to call it enlightenment but I am unable to find a better description. Lately I feel I can glimpse a feeling of peace just out of my reach across the fog of life. It is almost as if I could just let go of everything and slip into a dimension of pure relaxation and freedom.
I am not reaching this feeling through meditation which is the expected procedure. I do think meditation might help me take the final step but the fact that real life exists and I would eventually have to return to it keeps me from engaging in the pursuit.
My main obstacle seems to be my job. I don’t really need it but I can’t muster the courage to let it go. It is the anchor that weighs me down and keeps me mired in suffering. I don’t want to live like this. Nobody should have to live like this. We are just so used to it after all these years that we can no longer perceive life the way it was meant to be. I can see it. I like it and I want it. I’m just afraid of taking the big step.
What would it take for me to make it happen? I’m not sure but I am prepared for when the time comes. I have the plan and the means, I just lack the kick in the ass.