Loneliness update

I’ve been thinking about it for a few days now; wondering if it is a temporary or more permanent feeling.  Lately I have not been feeling lonely.  Yes, I am still alone but the unbearable desire for companionship is greatly reduced.

This unfulfillable desire has been a constant thorn in the side of my well-being for so many decades.  For quite some time now I have been very satisfied with being alone and the thought of spending time with others makes me sick.  To the common person this may sound terrible but I assure you to me it is heaven.  Not wanting something you can’t have is a very good thing.

There is no doubt that this will be damaging in the long-term but I see no other alternative.  I am already mentally screwed so I don’t think a little more will make a difference especially considering the positive short-term effects.  I am also dubious about the expectation that it is indeed permanent.  Only time will tell.

 

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