I’ve been thinking about it for a few days now; wondering if it is a temporary or more permanent feeling. Lately I have not been feeling lonely. Yes, I am still alone but the unbearable desire for companionship is greatly reduced.
This unfulfillable desire has been a constant thorn in the side of my well-being for so many decades. For quite some time now I have been very satisfied with being alone and the thought of spending time with others makes me sick. To the common person this may sound terrible but I assure you to me it is heaven. Not wanting something you can’t have is a very good thing.
There is no doubt that this will be damaging in the long-term but I see no other alternative. I am already mentally screwed so I don’t think a little more will make a difference especially considering the positive short-term effects. I am also dubious about the expectation that it is indeed permanent. Only time will tell.