During the time I’ve spent removing myself from society over the last few weeks, I’ve learned a little about wasting time. I’m not the kind of person to just sit around when I can be doing something creative so this is a new frontier for me.
Why am I learning to waste time? Well, it is difficult to avoid and I’m tired of fighting it. My job is 75% nothing. I have little to do at work and no money to do it with. Our department is going through difficult times and is unable to spend money on computer equipment. Therefore they are wasting my talent letting me sit on the couch all day reading. Boooooring. I am learning to handle it though. Getting paid $50K a year to do nothing is a dream job for many people. ($50K is a damn good wage in San Antonio where the cost of living is very low. People would kill for my salary.) For a long time just sitting there while my life passed me by really bothered me. I would be lying if I said it didn’t still, but I’m getting better at it.
There’s nothing to do anyway. It is 102 degrees outside every day and hoards people everywhere you might want to go. I might as well sit in a dark, air-conditioned office and read. When the work day is over I head home, braving the sun melted environment by blasting my car A/C. When I get home I crank up the house A/C and collapse on the living room couch. It is still far to hot to go outside for more than a few seconds to water the garden then run back inside to cool off.
There’s no point going out because I already spent $10 for lunch and I’m not hungry. I don’t drink so that makes going “out” even more pointless. I turn on the TV and let the stupidity wash over me until it is time to go to bed.
What did I accomplish today? Nothing of value.
What will I accomplish tomorrow? Probably more of the same.
Should I be upset that I’m wasting my life? Yes, but what good does that do? It only leads to more frustration and further fills my vast reservoir of anger. My goal is to be satisfied with accomplishing nothing. After all, satisfaction is the root of enlightenment. Besides, there’s nothing I can do about it anyway as long as I live in this God-forsaken city in this God-forsaken state.