I have been feeling a little different lately. A little less obsessed with the things that frustrate me. It could be that my recent attempt to destroy my soul has at least had a little effect. I feel like a small part has died and I like it. If not dead, at least asleep.
Maybe it is the fact that the summer is on the downturn now. It is only in the upper 90s instead of the 100s this week. It is a nice feeling that the worst may be over and winter is finally coming.
Having lost a little of my soul is making my life a little more bearable. I am no longer lusting after buying an RV. I no longer feel any need to be around other people. Really. I feel little need for social life or sex. It’s wonderful! I am also a little less angry that I am wasting whole days of my life sitting in a dark office while life goes on outside. If I can continue to destroy more of my soul, I might be more like all the people around me. Maybe I will fit in.
I feel more change in the air. Not sure if it is personal change or world change. I just feel some anticipation. I like it. Something to live for maybe?