I need to loosen up

btmndcttpeIt was Ferris Bueller who, while referring to his friend Cameron said, “Pardon my French, but Cameron is so (up)tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you’d have a diamond.”

I think I could produce a diamond in one week.  My uptightivity has been out of control all my life.  I don’t know where it comes from and I don’t know how to make it go away.  It was maybe 15 years ago when an acquaintance first told me about it.  I had no idea. I didn’t even see it at the time.  I told him he was full of shit.  It was maybe 10 years later when I finally recognized it.  Perhaps it was because I lived with it all my life and knew of no other way.

It surfaced again a few weeks ago while I was restoring my 1982 motor home.  I was doing everything I could to put it back into original condition.  It was an exercise in uptightedness.  It was as if I was trying to bring lost value back.  It’s true to a point but a 1982 motor home will never really have much value.

I came to a point where I wanted to replace the colored tape down the sides.  I shopped all around looking for something to closely approximate what was originally there.  It was near Halloween and I happened upon a roll of Scotch Duct Tape with the Batman logo printed on it.  My head spun.  What if I used that?  I bought some just for fun.

It was a perfect fit on the sides of the motor home.  The best part was immediately, the project was less heavy.  It was no longer important that everything be perfect.  It was what it was supposed to be.  Fun.  My world changed a little bit.

Was I on to something?  I have always missed “fun” in my life.  Could this be an indication of how easy it is to change the drudgery of life into something a little more?  I am getting an inkling of an idea but still can’t quite grasp the concept.

Take tiny burgers for instance.  Some people call them sliders.  To me they were always pointless.  They pissed me off because they were small.  People call them “fun”.  I still have a difficult time seeing the fun but maybe I can feel it a little now.

My life needs more Batman Tape on it.  If only I can figure out where and when to apply it.

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