Have I let it go?

glxymrblAs one reaches middle-age, one starts to take notice of the fact that the first part of our life has been wasted.  We are, technically, past our peak health and all those things we wanted to accomplish are looking less tangible than ever.  I have been spending a lot of my time fighting this reality.  It is the eternal struggle of man. The Human Condition.

Even though I can imagine the enlightened state where things like finding meaning and accomplishing great things are just not important, reaching that state seems difficult if not impossible in our current society.  I feel a deep need to “Do something.”  To not “Waste” my life.

Lately I have slipped into that enlightenment that I seek.  I have, at least temporarily, lost that strong desire to do something important.  A desire that has brought me nothing but frustration.  It is a nice feeling.  Though it is not 100% I wonder if I can take advantage of it and nurture the idea.

Would it matter if in 30-40 years, when I’m on my death bed, that I spent my life watching TV?  If I did not contribute significantly to the society I am about to leave behind?  If I did not experience all the world has to offer?  How could it matter?  If I am not there to experience it, how could it matter that I did or didn’t make a difference?  How can I even be sure that the universe will even continue to exist when I die?  In effect, the universe you see around you is a creation of my own mind anyway.  What I do with it is entirely up to me.  If I chose to relax and do as I please, as the Supreme Being, I can do that.

That’s pretty deep.  Let’s go with that.

Feel free to pray to me if you like.  Unfortunately I will be ignoring them because your needs are insignificant to me.



2 thoughts on “Have I let it go?

  1. Gary Pete

    you had mentioned maybe volunteering with Habitat for Humanity – have you tried that? – I used to work with recovering addicts & alcoholics (for free) but now I’m trying In some small way to help the homeless & hungry – I think we’re at our best when we show love & compassion for our fellows

    1. I went to the orientation meeting. It was short and basic.
      They volunteer list is booked up through may. Not a good start. As I’ve said before, Too many people up in here. I’ll see what I can do. It looks like it could be fun if I can get in on it.

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