Officially on long vacation

It has been a while since I’ve reported in.  My retirement didn’t go as smoothly as I had planned.  I wimped out and attempted to get my job back.  I haven’t been able to eat or sleep for almost a week.  It was the fear of change that got to me.

After meeting with the boss today,  it was obvious that the path is set.  He said that I had been unhappy there for a long time and letting me stay would be a mistake.  I agreed with him.  He is right.  I would be miserable no matter what the outcome was.  I will be attending work for one or two more days to make sure all is wrapped up.  I hope it can be done quickly.  I don’t want to be there for obvious reasons.  AWKWARD!!!!

Anyway.  Now the time of indecision is past.  I feel relieved but still afraid.  I have various options to explore.  My first plan is to take it easy for a few months and try to relax while weighing possibilities.

Do I stay here and look for another job?  I’m not sure I like that idea.  I have a serious aversion to working right now. It might be just an effect of my current mental state.

Do I move to the country like I had planned?   Previous Me wanted that very much.  He must know what I really want.

Do I just give up completely and move in with my mom?  Not out of the question.  She is 84 this year and will need help through the upcoming years.

I can’t stay in my current house indefinitely without work.  I can manage about 5-7 years on available cash.  Double that using my investment portfolio.  That would get me close to 16 years for my retirement income to kick in.  It would be tight though.  I really need to have a cheaper house so that the sale of my current house could sustain me if I don’t ever get another job.

It’s far too early to decide right now.  After a few months of vacation I think I will have a better feel for reality.  Right now it’s all freaked out.



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