It has been a while since I’ve reported in. My retirement didn’t go as smoothly as I had planned. I wimped out and attempted to get my job back. I haven’t been able to eat or sleep for almost a week. It was the fear of change that got to me.
After meeting with the boss today, it was obvious that the path is set. He said that I had been unhappy there for a long time and letting me stay would be a mistake. I agreed with him. He is right. I would be miserable no matter what the outcome was. I will be attending work for one or two more days to make sure all is wrapped up. I hope it can be done quickly. I don’t want to be there for obvious reasons. AWKWARD!!!!
Anyway. Now the time of indecision is past. I feel relieved but still afraid. I have various options to explore. My first plan is to take it easy for a few months and try to relax while weighing possibilities.
Do I stay here and look for another job? I’m not sure I like that idea. I have a serious aversion to working right now. It might be just an effect of my current mental state.
Do I move to the country like I had planned? Previous Me wanted that very much. He must know what I really want.
Do I just give up completely and move in with my mom? Not out of the question. She is 84 this year and will need help through the upcoming years.
I can’t stay in my current house indefinitely without work. I can manage about 5-7 years on available cash. Double that using my investment portfolio. That would get me close to 16 years for my retirement income to kick in. It would be tight though. I really need to have a cheaper house so that the sale of my current house could sustain me if I don’t ever get another job.
It’s far too early to decide right now. After a few months of vacation I think I will have a better feel for reality. Right now it’s all freaked out.