Today was my first day of not going to work.  I spent Mother’s day with my mom and older sister yesterday.  My sister retired a few years ago due to health reasons.  It was good to talk to her about my new condition.  She confirmed that it takes a while to get used to not working and not worrying about it all the time.  This is as I expected.  She also advised me to set a date and not worry about it until then.  I had the same idea of waiting for 3-6 months before looking for another job.  I think that is a solid plan.

I need to learn a lot of things in that time.  One of them is confidence in myself.  I totally lost all my confidence in the situation that prompted me to retire.  I will need some confidence when I go looking for a replacement job.  I am hoping some of it will return on its own.  The rest, I don’t know what to do about.  Self-confidence is something of which I have always have very little.   I don’t know how to go about improving it.  I plan to spend some time researching it on the internet and hope to find some leads.  Maybe some books.  You know there have to be books on that subject.

Life sure is complex.  I don’t know how the regular people manage to live day to day.  Maybe things like this come natural to most people.  I can’t help but blame the fact that I grew up without a father.  I understand that a good father figure can make a serious difference in a child’s development.

I definitely need to work on my self-confidence.  It will be helpful in so many aspects of my life.