Life is too long

According to my calculations, I am 46 years old.  2014 – 1968 = 46

It has been a long and pointless journey and have have possibly another 30-40 years to suffer through.  I don’t like what I see ahead of me and I don’t see any way I can do anything about it.  I have spent so many years racking my brain to make sense of it all and to find a way to change things but come up empty every time.  Every attempt that I make turns into a regret.

The only answer I see is highly improbable.  That would be for some girl to come into my life and make it all worthwhile.  Unless she has x-ray vision and can see me through the walls of my house then I don’t see how that can happen.

I realize that the traditional way is to go get the girl but I can’t see that happening.  I don’t have it it me to come of of my tiny comfort zone and put forth the monumental effort it would take.  It is just unimaginable.  Inconceivable!  Infinitely impossible!

If there was any chance it would have to be someone I know who would care enough to set me up with someone they thing would be right for me.  The people I know are oblivious.  I guess I could ask around.  I am close to considering that option but then I would probably be unable to do it.

So back at the beginning like all vicious cycles I go round and round.  I am getting dizzy.  I think I might fall down.