Memory – The Essay

ogodI was in elementary school and the end of the year was approaching.  I must have been in 4th or 5th grade at the time around 1978.  The teacher assigned us a short essay on what we had planned for the summer.

I had absolutely nothing planned and no idea what to write so I decided to write a little fiction.

I wrote about burning the school down and using the firemen as wood.  I quoted the children’s song:

Glory, Glory Hallelujah.
Teacher hit me with a ruler.
I met her at the bank with a loaded army tank and she ain’t my teacher no more.

Yesterday I went to her grave.
Instead of putting flowers, I put a hand grenade.
Yea, yea, yea, she couldn’t get away and she ain’t my teacher no more.

(I can’t believe I remember the words.)

I got in serious trouble.  Not as much as if it had happened today.  Back then we still had free speech and there was no such thing as a threat on a school.  School shootings would not have been invented for another 5 years.  I just got a stern talking to by my mother.  I had no idea what I had done.  It seemed like a good story at the time.

In retrospect, Wow!  It may have been the year after my father died and I may have been a seriously damage child.  Nobody cared about a child’s mental state back then.  There was no grief counseling or school psychologist.  It is likely the reason I am so messed up today.

If I had done that in today’s world it is quite possible that I would have been sent to a high security mental hospital and a special school.

I’m not sure what unrepressed that memory.  Sometimes they just reappear when you least expect it.