Better or not?

bttrSo….  My life has changed a bit after I quit my job.  It actually changed less than I expected but is it better now?  Yes.  I’m not wasting my life working for the man but am I still not wasting my life?  I fill my time doing other things as my will desires.  Usually stuff around the house because the world is way to hot and crowded during the summer to go anywhere.  Maybe in October.

I still spend a lot of time worrying about my future.  How it is not as I desire.  How what I want is not attainable and what I’m supposed to do about it.  I still go to bed every night praying for death in my sleep and being disappointed every morning.   I think perhaps I incorrectly blamed work for all my problems.  It seems that work is only a subset on the Venn Diagram of life.

There must be something out there that makes life better. I don’t know what or where it is.  I don’t know how to even start looking for it.  Do I keep trying or do I give up?  Giving up would be far easier.  I’m not sure if whatever it is can be attainable or is even tangible.  Am I over-thinking the problem?  Does the problem even exist?

So far, in my research, the purpose of life is existence itself.  We exist to exist.  Just like that.  Anything else we attempt to tack onto that is icing on your doughnut.  It melts away after a day or two.

So back to me.  Yes.  I think my life is better now that I am not working.  It hasn’t totally sunk in yet.  I’m still 25% in limbo.

Can it be even better?  Yes.   What can I do to make it so?  I don’t know.  Should I try?  I don’t know that either.  Does anybody ever know?



2 thoughts on “Better or not?

  1. Gary Pete

    “the meaning of life” – life has the meaning that we give/bring to it – BTW, have you ever been in love ?

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