So much anxiety!

nxtyOMG!  I keep having anxiety attacks because I am not working.  Sombitch and WTF?

I don’t need to work and I don’t want to work.  Not right now at least.  Still, I can’t stop worrying that I will run out of money and be too old to be considered for a good job.  It’s a stupid thing to worry about.  Not spending all day working leaves far too much time to be alone.  Being alone leaves far too much time for depression.

Peace.  I need peace.  Let it go.  Let it be.  Let me be.  Let me go.

Such a major change of life apparently takes more time to become accustomed to but damn!  This sucks.

My options are suddenly open and it is overwhelming and scary.   Does this sound stupid or what?  Being in my situation would be the dream of everyone yet I can’t do it by myself.  It’s too much.  I don’t have the energy or the right motivation.  I am in limbo.

I am once again going to try to set a time limit during which I will not worry about it and live life as best I can.  Sounds great on paper but the mind is difficult to control.  I am relaxation.  I am the eye of the storm.

Time to go walk to the store and pick up a little orange ticket of hope.  So far, winning the lottery is harder than you would think.   I AM the only real human on this planet so winning should be in the bag, right?

I need a project.

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