Where is the rest of the Internet?

lkngI often go searching the internet for things that interest me but often have a hard time finding anything on a subject.  Yes, they are obscure, specialized and sometimes perverted things but it blows my mind that there aren’t other people out there with similar ideas.

I know I’m not the only person on the planet with certain interests.  I can’t help feeling that the search engines are censoring our results and we are barely scraping the surface of the web.  It can be extremely frustrating to not find satisfying results on subjects you feel strongly about.

There is a thing known as the Dark Web or Deep web but finding it is rather difficult.  I guess I’ll have to make it my business to find the entrance.  Going there can be scary because who knows who is watching.  Anonymity has long since disappeared on the internet and big brother is watching at all times.

The internet as we all know it is highly filtered.  The olden days of the Wild West are over.  You see what they want you to see and nothing more.


Money for Panhandlers

pnhndlerLike most cities, San Antonio has a large number of panhandlers at major intersections.  Technically Illegal here it doesn’t stop anyone.  What are the cops going to do anyway?

In the past I have been, like most people, indifferent to them.  We look the other way like they don’t exist.  It always bothered me to do that though.

During the 10 months I took off from work I was not homeless or even wanting for money but as I searched for a new job I felt a connection to the plight of the homeless and uneducated people out there.  Even with education and skills, the competition for a good job is still incredible.  When you are homeless, it can be virtually impossible to pull yourself out of the gutter.

It also bothers me to give to those who are intentionally making panhandling their full-time job.  A person can make quite a bit of money playing on the sympathy of the common motorist.  It’s still far from the American Dream.

Many are disabled or even veterans unable to make it in the real world.  Some just elderly and without family for support.

I’ve decided that no matter what their issue, I think it wouldn’t hurt me to help them out.  I keep a stash of $5 bills in easy reach so I can make their lives a little better.  Whether they are seriously down and out or just eeking out a living they are very appreciative and I feel good about making their day easier.

I wish there was a better way for them and in many cities there is but at least I can do more than just feel bad for them or even be annoyed about what they are doing.  You only live once and when that life sucks to the max, it’s nice to have someone care enough to help you out a little.

Rain Barrel

rnbrrlI’ve always wanted a rain barrel but never got around to it.  Now I wonder why I waited so many years.

I picked up a perfect plastic barrel at a farm supply store near Seguin.  It only cost $28.00 after tax and fit easily in the back of my car.

I brought it home and put it on two nicely leveled cinder blocks I had sitting around.  The top of the barrel has a nice square hole over which I stretched some windows screen on a wooden frame made by cutting pieces of wood at 45 degree angles. This will keep out the debris and mosquitoes.  Don’t like mosquitoes.  The top of the barrel also has a slot where the overflow can pour.  I just had to shorten the downspout from the gutter over the garage and put the angled end back.  Too easy.

It took me around 30 minutes to set up.  All I have left to do is get a faucet and attach it near the bottom.  Can’t wait for some rain now.

I am blessed

blssdlfYou know… I’ve spent 20 years wallowing in depression and it wasn’t until just now that I realized that I am living a truly blessed life.  I was so caught up in loneliness and self-pity that I failed to notice that compared to the majority of people on this planet, I am incredibly blessed.

Yeah,  I don’t have a family or satisfying friendships but as far as the American Dream goes;  I’ve got it.

During my time of not working, I kind of identified with the jobless, scrambling masses.  Of course I wasn’t one of them but still I felt a connection.  It gave me time to see life from the other side of where I lived.  So many people are living paycheck to paycheck.  They are barely eeking out an existence and struggling to meet life’s basic requirements of food, shelter, transportation and health.  I have at least three friends who are in that category.

It made me realize just how blessed I am.  I’ve never had to struggle for my existence.  I can almost say that life has handed me everything I need and more.  We were not rich when I was a child.  After my father died when I was 9, my mom, brother and myself lived on social security.  We didn’t have a lot but we had everything we needed and more.

After I graduated from school I worked and attended college for my associates degree.  I continued on towards an engineering degree but got into the emerging computer industry.  Jobs were easy to find and paid quite well.  I bought a house, a Porsche, a BMW, an RV and whatever else I wanted.   Life was easy.

Perhaps not having a wife and family contributed to my easy success and I’m not sure I miss having them.  It costs a lot to have a family.

In general, life gives me whatever I need.  I don’t have to go out and fight for things.  They just come to me.

I don’t intend to be bragging about my easy fortune but I do want to remind myself about it because life really is good for me.  I only wish I could get those wasted 20 years back.  There’s no doubt that wisdom comes with age.  It is unlikely that I could have recognized my good life back then anyway.  The important thing is that I go forward and appreciate what I have accomplished.  I am blessed and I appreciate it.