I fought depression and won. It was an incredibly long and dangerous war lasting at least 20 years. Now I feel well. It is over. I am victorious!
There’s only one thing left preventing me from being truly happy. It’s that nagging desire to have a friend. Does that sound stupid or what? I find it impossible to turn up any person, male or female, who meets my simple requirements.
- Be capable of doing fun things.
- Have time to do fun things.
- Appreciate things that are good.
- Be naked with me. (I’m a nudist.)
The people I know are lacking all four things. The people I don’t know can’t see that I even exist. Invisibility is a major problem for me. Not sure how to deal with that. More on invisibility later.
But finding a friend isn’t actually my problem. The real problem is that I can’t let go of the wanting. I find myself happiest when I am alone. I get to do whatever I want whenever I want to do it. When I am with people, I just wish I was alone because they don’t meet qualifications 1-4 and are wasting my time.
Wouldn’t it make sense then that when I am alone I should be happy? Logical, yet it doesn’t seem to work that way. I keep spending all my awesome alone-time with the recurring thought, “Wouldn’t it be great if I had someone to share it with?” It just won’t stop. I don’t know how to kill it. I know that thoughts are merely figments of my imagination and I am in control of them. Somehow this particular thought is more powerful than a locomotive. Nothing I do can stop it from hounding me mercilessly.
The way I see it, there are two options.
- Find a friend.
- Kill the desire.
In this world of brainwashed phone-slaves, the chances of finding someone like me are incredibly small. Microscopic. I am one of a kind. I’m a round peg in the land of square holes. I understand that.
The only option left is to kill the desire. I’ve tried so hard but it keeps coming back like a virus-encrusted boomerang. (How about that?) All I want is for it to leave me alone. I must find a way to win. I need to find the silver bullet or a nice wooden stake. God help me.