Something wrong with today’s bicycles


Me and my fast bike

I love the idea of bicycles but they don’t work like they used to.

When I was a kid, my friends and I all had bikes.  We rode them all around the neighborhood all day long.  I had an awesome kid’s bike.  It was the kind with no gears, a big banana seat and to stop you pedaled backwards.  It was awesome.  It was fast and easy to ride.

Now that I’m an adult, I’ve been through a number of bicycles and they all suck.

There are a couple of problems that they all suffer from.  The first being that the seat is unbearably uncomfortable.  I ended up buying a huge padded seat and it still hurts.  I wonder if I can still get a banana seat.  Man those were comfortable.

The other problem is that they are all so slow.  My old childhood bike was lightening fast.  I always won the race.  Today’s bicycles, despite all the gears are unbearably slow and difficult to pedal.  It’s really not any fun to ride anymore.  More of a chore.  I think, perhaps, today’s bicycles are made of heavier, denser iron.  The tubes are possibly filled full of lead or concrete.  The tires seem to be made of some kind of new rubber compound that sticks to the street.  They have a seriously high coefficient of friction that makes pedaling far more difficult than necessary.

I guess I’m going to have to build my own bicycle.  Maybe I can go to a junkyard and find some old fashioned fast kids’ bikes built back when bikes were fast and weld them together into an adult sized bike.