Ever since I was a kid, I had a low sense of self-esteem. I felt ugly because nobody else would ever look at me. They still don’t look at me but as I said before, I don’t look at others either. Apparently this is a common practice among the Humans. We all mill about in our self-absorbed state either lost in our own head or in our cell phone. But I digress.
Today I stood in various check-out lines doing my weekend-cram shopping like the other 7 billion people on this planet locked into the matrix of the daily grind. I looked around at the girls I see looking for a hint of what I might consider to be beauty. I realized that I spent 47 years being an ogre amongst royalty yet if I really look closely. I’m just an ogre among ogres. In fact, In comparison, I might actually be a diamond. Let’s not digress into the frustrating fact that girls don’t look at me at all. I still haven’t figured that out. I guess I’m and invisible diamond. That’t the rarest type.
Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not one of those high-on-myself types that can only be attracted to a young, beautiful princess. In fact, just the opposite. I feel far more attracted to female ogres than princesses. The strange part is that among all the ogresses I see, I feel no physical attraction. San Antonio is a city full of gross people. I hate to be racist but with such a high population of hispanics here, the people all look like they were beaten with the ugly stick.
It’s not just the outside I look at. I can handle the exterior ugly. I see by their actions that they are ugly on the inside. When I see a physically beautiful girl I think: What a bitch! She looks self-absorbed and high maintenance. When I see hispanic girls trying to look pretty I think: Slut. You know she’s doing any guy who comes along. Wearing those tiny short shorts on those fat clumpy legs.
I’ve rambled on so long now I don’t even know what my point was. This post just turned into a rant. Well, you’ve got to let it out sometimes and you will often learn something about yourself.