To try or not to try

dcsndcI’ve spent 40 some odd years being lonely and no matter how hard I try to get used to it, I just can’t let it go.

I wrote a nice Craigslist ad to see if I can find myself a good female friend.  I wrote a long description of myself, the things I like and what I am looking for.

I’m pretty sure that even if I post it, it is unlikely that I will get any realistic response here in San Antonio.  The people here just aren’t the right kind of people for me.  Either way, part of me wants to try but the other part says, “Don’t do it, Dumbass!”

First of all, All I want is a friend.  I’m not looking for a romantic situation.  A little sex, yes, but not love or marriage.  That’s not for me.

Second of all, I want to leave San Antonio eventually.  Maybe soon even.  Maybe never. I don’t know what the hell to plan for.  It’s kind of a limbo situation until my mom passes away which could be soon or over 10 years from now.  What am I supposed to do?

Logic tells me to try because having someone to make the world better could just change everything.  It also tells me that dabbling in social interaction never turns out in a good way.  I’ve always been sorry for trying.

I’m rather fond of being by myself.  Mostly because being around people who don’t share my interests hurts more than dental work.  ;

My ad is pretty specific about certain things that are sure to weed out commoners right away. That might be helpful in minimizing the pain of the attempt.

So right now I’m leaning toward giving it a shot.  My plan is to post it near the beginning of January to start the year off.  If I get no response then nothing lost nothing gained.  If I get a good response then I guess I’ll deal with it as things happen.