There have been three deaths in my community band over the last few months. Just last week one of our clarinet players passed away walking out to her car after rehearsal. At least she died among friends instead of alone in an empty house.
Despite the three deaths and my near-death last year, I find myself not feeling a lot. I wonder if it is just me or that’s the way it is. Life comes and goes and there’s little you can do about it. Other than these people’s close relatives, I don’t see a lot of lasting impact on others either. The band played on just the same. I’m guessing that it isn’t just me who has a lack of ability to care for more than a few minutes. They all continue to go to work the next day as if nothing happened. As if a lifetime of experiences that is suddenly lost to eternity mean absolutely nothing.
When you die, life goes on. You will be forgotten and the world continues to turn.
It kind of makes me wonder why we struggle so hard. We spend a third of our life in school. We spend another third or more working 8-5 at a pointless job so we can buy pointless crap. If we have a few years left at the end, we live out our pointless life, generally without any money left to enjoy it. The next thing you know it’s over and you have nothing to show for it. You can’t take any of it with you anyway.
Those who knew you will say, “Meh.” and head off to work the next morning as if nothing happened to continue the cycle until they die as well.
Dark thoughts but can you say it’s not true?