What’s it like to be in love?

IMG_0274Today, being Memorial day, I wasn’t sure how to celebrate it other than just not having to go to work.  I decided that I should maybe go have some special food.  I was going to try maybe Red Robin for a burger.  I looked up the nutrition info and the basic burger there had 19 grams of saturated fat.  Way more than I usually eat but it is a special occasion.  Just for grins I looked up the nutrition for a burger and fries at Whataburger.  Only 10 Grams!  I love Whataburger and have been let down by Red Robin in the past so it was a no-brainer.  Whataburger it is!  Cheaper and better.  if you’re ever in Texas, make it a point to eat at Whataburger.  It makes places like Steak and Shake and In-n-out burger taste like McDonalds.   AWESOME!

To the point:

As I sat there I noticed a young couple sitting on the same side of the next booth.  They were probably in high school.  I marveled at what I saw.  It is difficult for me to even imagine what love feels like.  When I see things like this, I desperately want to go and ask them, “What does it feel like?”   Even if I did ask the question, I’m not sure it is a question that has a tangible answer.  How could they even respond in a manner that would make sense to me?

It made me remember something.  The last time I held hands with a girl was probably 45 years ago when I was in preschool.  My mom told me that I and a girl we carpooled with were a hot item.  I’m not sure I have any memories of this but it makes me wonder if I was normal at one point in my life.  I wonder when things changed?  I remember in third grade planning to one day marry this other girl in my class.  Things were still normal then.  I expect I lost touch with reality when my father died when I was in elementary school.  I didn’t realize it at the time but I got seriously screwed up by not having a father figure in my formative years.

To this day, I feel the desire to have a mate but don’t have the skills or mental faculties to make it happen.  I’ve surely convinced myself that I don’t want such things yet something deep inside keeps nagging me.  I wonder if it is a human nature thing or if it is external sociological influence.  Other than actually mating, it seems to me that the sociological construct of marriage is a human invention perpetrated continuously over time until it has become so normal that it is almost a requirement.

As far as it happening to me?  I don’t feel that I have what it takes to meet today’s norms.  I am a special person among an ocean of regular people.  It’s tough.  I wonder if one day that other special fish will swim into my reef and change the world.

Are you out there?




After my coronary artery stents were put in, I was told outright by the doctor, “You need to be a vegetarian!”

There’s no doubt the American Diet is a death sentence.  High in saturated fat and cholesterol, it’s not surprising that 610,000 people die of heart disease every year.  We eat the worst crap and deny any ill effects while silently, plaque builds up in your arteries until you turn 48 and die.

I’ve taken it seriously and eat a low fat diet every day.  The daily recommended intake of saturated fats is 13 grams.  I try to keep my intake in the 0-5 mg range.  Heat disease is reversible if you are serious about it.  Many days I can do zero by eating only vegetables and maybe tofu.   That doesn’t mean I don’t splurge occasionally for those special occasions.

Minimizing sodium helps keep your blood pressure down which is also very important to help prevent stretching damage to your arteries.

Something I’ve run into quite often when I order food is “Meatface?.  That face people make when I tell them to hold the meat or substitute something else.  Just yesterday I was at Subway to have a veggie delight sandwich.  The girl making the sandwich asked me if the Veggie Delight was good.  Apparently she hasn’t tried one because when I told her that you don’t even notice the meat is missing, she made the face I’ve see so many times.  It’s a look of revulsion like eating a sandwich without meat is some kind of horrible taboo.  I realize that not eating meat takes some time to get used to but it still amazes me that people have such a reaction.

There was a time, back in the early 1900s and before, where meat was not so available or affordable.  People only ate meat once or twice a week if at all.  It was normal.  Funny how things have changed.  The thought of a meal without meat is outlandish.  You must be some kind of alien from another planet. People don’t even know how to eat a no-meat meal.

It’s not going to change anytime soon and it’s a good thing we have statins and blood pressure medication to make up the difference in our poor eating habits.  Without them 48 would be our age limit.  If your doctor says to take cholesterol and blood pressure medication then you had better do it if you plan to continue eating meat.  I doubt you will understand until you have your first and possibly last heart attack.

You may think you are eating a healthy diet now but if you are eating meat three times a day then you are possibly three times over the limit for saturated fat.

Eating right is very important. Wake up!!!  You’re doing it wrong.


Possible Land Find

pttytnToday I drove out to the country to look at a piece of land I found on Zillow.  It is 2.5 acres way out in the country.  The location is not too bad.  It’s only 23 miles from my desired town.  That’s only a 25-30 minute drive.  Not bad considering it takes me 45 minutes to an hour to get to work now.

The land is as shown in the picture.  It’s empty so I superimposed a house, garage, pool and solar array to get an idea of how things might fit.  I stood there for a moment and listened to the silence of country living.  It was wonderful.  All I could hear was a slight rustle of the trees and the hum of a single neighbor’s air conditioner.   No roar of traffic or the drone of a billion air conditioners.  I was in heaven.  Not even any dogs barking!

The land has some good qualities:

  1. A nice grove of trees in the front for a pleasant, privacy screening driveway.
  2. It’s nice and flat with no ditches to make the land useless.
  3. It has a brand new electric meter and pole with water right at the street.
  4. Enough screening from the neighbors by overgrown brush to let me run naked all day.  It can be easily fortified for maximum privacy.

It has one bad quality. It is very thin.  A pet peeve of mine.  I would prefer more width but it could do well enough.  I would always feel cramped.  This could be a major problem.  The lot on one side is occupied but the one on the other is empty and hopefully will never be occupied.  In the back is a greenbelt area.  Free emptiness!  Even though it is thin, there is more space than I really need and small enough to be easily maintainable.   If it was only 1/2 a lot wider I would be totally sold.  Right now I’m not feeling it 100%.  Maybe 75%.

I’m not giving up on it through.  Hopefully it will be on the market for a while and I can give it some thought.   One has to act quickly in real estate though.  Things can easily slip through the fingers of a procrastinator.  I am not really in a rush so maybe I should wait until a 80% or 90% shows up on the market.

The price is higher than I’m willing to pay.  At $50,000 if it was 100% perfect then I would go for it.  I’ve seen 4 acres sold for $40K so I feel that 2.5 should sell more around $30K.

I’m going to think for a a bit then contact the realtor to get more info if I feel I need it.  I would like to know:

  1. What it costs to tap into the water line.
  2. What are the construction codes.  Preferably minimal or none.
  3. If he thinks 50K is a good price.

I’ve already had scary thoughts about actually going through with retiring to the country it but it is my life goal so why should I be afraid?  Things are different when they start to get real.

If nothing else, finding that something I like could actually exist really raises my spirits.  I was getting really bummed out and frustrated.  There’s hope after all!

Two days later…

So much for that.  The property was just put on the market and is already under contract.  Acting fast is going to be very important.  It is apparently a seller’s market.

Too much sleep?

slpngI have an idea.

I’ve spent my whole life feeling that I am not getting enough sleep.  Every morning, getting out of bed has been extremely difficult.  I get around 7 hours of pretty good quality sleep each night but I wake up desperately tired and angry at the world for making me get out of bed.

I wonder if maybe I am getting too much sleep.  Everyone’s needs are different and maybe mine are too.  Sometimes after taking a 15 minute nap I wake up feeling refreshed.  A full night’s sleep does not refresh me. Something not right here.

I usually wake up a few times a night and maybe go to the restroom.  I notice that during those wakeups, I don’t feel so tired.  I think I’m going to try a new experiment.  I’m going to just get up and do something for a while.  If I feel tired I’ll go back to bed until the alarm goes off.  It couldn’t hurt to try and I might enjoy it.

The shortness of waking time I am allowed weighs heavily on me and having a little more would be really nice.  I think I might give it a shot for a few days and see what happens.  It might also help me to fall asleep more quickly at bedtime.


A few weeks later…

Yeah.  That’s not happening.  I am not feeling like staying out of bed in the middle of the night.  Nevermind.

Sadness Pangs?

Lately I’ve been experiencing what seem to be pangs of sadness.  It’s kind of like a pinprick in my brain right between my eyes.

It’s a strange feeling and hard to describe.  It’s like my eyes want to cry.  It comes randomly and then disappears immediately.

I can only guess that it is 40 years worth of repressed sadness, frustration, emptiness trying to escape.  I wonder if I have reached my capacity for storing it all up.  How much room is left?  What happens when I’m completely full?  I expect one would need to cry to let it out but I seem to be incapable.  The last time I came close to crying it took major effort to sustain it for less than a minute.  Still it felt fake and was completely ineffective.

Is there something other than crying to relieve the pressure?




Quick Book Review – Year Zero

yzroThe aliens of the universe were never very good with music.  It wasn’t until they discovered an early broadcast of The Welcome Back Kotter theme song that they have heard anything good.  Year Zero represents the beginning of time with real music.

The aliens realize that they have been enjoying earth music for decades without paying for it and approach the earth looking to buy license to play it throughout the Universe.

The premise sounds really interesting but after forcing myself to read 25% of this book I was unable to keep my interest.  As most books these days, it was just too slow and descriptive.  Maybe it’s my AT&T but I need more concise writing.  This book rambled away at unimportant things until I was worn down.  Maybe this book is good for you but it didn’t work for me.  I hate to abandon a book with a good premise but I had to let it go.

I should start a business that fixes story lines to make books more awesome.   It’s a shame to waste a good title.  No offence to the Author.

If you like details and a lot of story then maybe Year Zero is for you.  Don’t take my word for it.  I’m special.


More people go to work when it rains.

TrafficIt seems completely backwards to me that when it rains, everyone goes to work.  Traffic is backed up and it takes me longer to get to work.

I don’t get it.  I would think that when it rains people would say, “Meh.  I’m not going to work.”

Instead they all jump out of bed and get in their cars so they can clog up the road.

If I had a choice, like many people seem to have, I would not get out of bed on rainy days.  Those are the best days for sleeping in.  People are stupid.