Lonely or Horny?

lnlyhrnyIt’s another weekend where I have time to rest and think about how empty my life is.  I’m not saying that work makes my life better but it certainly helps take my mind of the other mundanities of life.

I usually spend the weekend at home alone because I have nowhere else to go and nobody to spend any time with.  My thoughts drift to wondering if there is anyone out there for me.  I can sometime spend hours rehashing my thoughts and trying to make sense of my loneliness.  You might think it was simple but it is rather complex.  Maybe it’s simple for normal people but I’m far from normal.

If I really boil it down until the only the essence is left, I think it is just plain hornyness.  What happens to the brain of a 49 year old man who is still a virgin?   You can bet it’s pretty screwed up in a literal sense.   In the end, all I want is someone to touch me.  It doesn’t seem like too much to ask, does it?  What kind of world is this where touching is so prohibited.

Finally, after hours of mental anguish, I end up masturbating and then all is well with the world.  I think I should probably do that early in the morning and cut out the wasted time but being horny is kind of fun on it’s own.  It’s just the lack of an outlet that makes it suck so much.   If there is such a thing as reincarnation, I sure hope it is on a planet where sex and the human body is not such a taboo.

 

Are all neighbors crazy?

I’m pretty sure that all neighbors are crazy.  I’ve watched them all my life and there’s no doubt that they are all insane.

I am currently surrounded by crazy people.  The house across the street has a family of black people who have 5 cars and come and go constantly.  Every time I go out into my yard I see them either pull up, drive away or just sit in the car with the engine running for an hour or more.  So how many times to they come and go when I’m not looking? Do they buy their potato chips one chip at a time?  Where the hell are they going all the time?

My neighbors right next door are renters.  They pretty much ignore me completely.  If I’m lucky I might make some small talk but otherwise I might not exist.  Have they no idea what awesomeness lives right next door?

I can go on and on but I’ll keep it short.  Having a crazy President doesn’t help.

I think, perhaps, people are crazy all over.  When I was young, I came to the conclusion that people are dumb because they think they are smart.  This theory may still have some value.   As closed-minded as we have become these days, our ideas are all we have and therefore must be the Truth.  (Capital T in truth because when we decide for ourselves that something is true then there can be no other truth no matter what.)

Maybe people are crazy because they are just trying to cope with pointless existence.  They are doing the best they can to avoid the monotony of a dreary daily life with nothing to look forward to.

Maybe the observers are the crazy ones.  We might think that others are crazy because they don’t conform to the standards of our own truth.

Craziness has exploded in recent years.  I think it started around the year 2000.  It was at that time when everything special had already been done and oppressive mundanity forced us to go to extremes to make life livable.  The internet became a major medium allowing crazy extremism to spread like wildfire until we were all infected.  So far, no antidote seems to be available and there’s no doubt that craziness is exponential.  I wonder what it will be like in just another ten years.  If the aliens don’t come soon then we are sure to destroy ourselves.

I guess I’m not one to lodge complaints about crazy people.  My attempts to cope with life has left me as crazy as a soup sandwich.  I’m sure my neighbors think I’ve completely lost it.  Here’s a guy who runs around naked, showers in his backyard, keeps his house and yard nice, builds TARDISes in his garage, is still a virgin at 49, has no friends, lives alone with a cat, wears short shorts and speedos, drives a Prius and has a lot of money.

Boobity boobity boo!  I’m probably crazier than you!

 

 

Repaired my Xantrex inverter

Last year I bought a 1500w Xantrex inverter for my RV.  At most I expected to run my microwave.  I was testing it out when POP!  The power went out.  This inverter has a surge current rating of 2000W and microwaves don’t use that much power.  Still.  It couldn’t handle it.  I was sad.  I expected better from Xantrex.

Not knowing what to do I just let it be.  This year I decided I would try some exploratory surgery and see what happened.  What could I hurt?  It was already dead.  Maybe it was just a fuse or something.

Fortunately it wasn’t too hard to open up.  A few screws on the ends and pull out the bottom plate.

Taking the circuit board out would be difficult so I hoped that would not be necessary. There were a bunch of fuses which I was getting ready to test first.

I noticed right away that a capacitor had completely blown up.  There were cap guts all over. It seemed unlikely that JUST replacing this capacitor would fix the whole thing but what the heck.  I looked through my parts bins and found an exact replacement.  A 100 uF electrolytic.  It was used and had short leads but it was on hand.

The remaining plates sticking up wouldn’t hold solder so I had to remove the rubber base and trim down the plates to the leads.  I still didn’t want to take out the whole circuit board so I decided to just solder onto the existing topside leads.

I added some short wires to replace the missing capacitor leads and soldered it in place.  I was lucky. The positive side was marked on the circuit board.

It isn’t pretty but it will be perfectly fine if it works.  No big loss if not.

 

I buttoned it back up and connected it to my battery.  No FAULT light!  Promising! I grabbed a nearby fan and plugged it in to the 120V outlet.  The fan spun to life!  SUCCESS!!!!!   I just saved myself a few hundred bucks buying a new inverter.

Damn I’m awesome!  You would think women would be all over me.  If only they knew.

 

 

Another bird dies in my hands

I walked out into the backyard to turn off the swimming pool pump when I noticed something colorful on the ground.  It was a small parakeet lying face down in the grass.  I thought maybe it had run into something and knocked itself out.  Birds sometimes do that on the windows of my house.  This one was pretty far from the house though.  It was strange to see such a colorful bird in a world of crows and sparrows.

I reached down and picked it up.  It’s wings were outstretched.  It was pretty weak but was able to grab on to my finger and still able to stand up on it’s own.  I set him on the picnic table to see what was going on. I gave him a little container of water.  He was barely able to stand and tried to fly but didn’t get far.

I picked him up again and folded his wings and held him in my hand.  He was getting weaker by the second.  I hoped if he was going to die that he would not suffer much longer.  I held him and stroked his head gently.  Soon he was unable to hold up his head.  His eyes were blinking strangely.  I could see him breathing quickly.  I stayed with him for a few more minutes until his whole body stretched out.  He then relaxed and he stopped breathing.  I knew he was gone.  I closed his eyes.  I held him a little longer.  I had dug a small hole in the flowerbed a few days earlier to get some dirt.  The hole was the perfect size for him so I laid him to rest.

This is the second time I’ve been with a bird as they passed away and I was honored to be there with them at the end.  I can only hope that someone will be with me when my time comes.  I’m pretty sure I will die alone.  I’m glad that at least not everybody has to.