I swear I’m not going to talk to anyone anymore. I’m tired of getting that, “Are you an alien?” face from you.
The other day I stopped by a modular home lot to see what the houses looked like. Before I could see anything I had to go through the sales spiel and answer a lot of questions. I can’t count the number of times I answered simple questions and got the alien face.
Do you rent an apartment? No. I have a house. Face.
How much do you pay for your mortgage? I paid it off 10 years ago. Face.
Do you have any pets? No. I might get a dog. Face.
Do you live on the south side? No. I’m on the Northwest side. Face.
How long have you lived in San Antonio? All my life. Face.
What is your income? $54,000. Face.
What kind of financing will you be needing? None. I’ll pay cash. Face.
Do you want a 3 or 4 bedroom house? Just one bedroom please. Face.
I was ready to slap the face right off this guy.
It’s not just him either. I see it all the time from friends and family. Is there anyone I can talk to who is normal? You’re all insane and I hate you.
I spent the whole day driving. I put over 400 miles on the car trying to satisfy my only life goal. A house in the country.
I drove to the small town I’ve chosen to spend the rest of my life in and started by looking at a few properties I found on the internet. They proved to be unsatisfactory as I expected. You never know what it really looks like from the pictures and satellite images. You have to experience it to really get the feel.
I stopped by a place that sells manufactured homes. I was just wondering what they were like. They’re still Mobile Homes no matter what you call them. Made of cheap materials. It was interesting to see but I decided pretty quickly that I was not going to go in that direction. $60,000 for a house is a good price for instant house but I would not want to live in one.
My next stop was the office of a company called UBuildit. They help you prepare your plans guide you through the process of building a house. It would cost $11,000 for their services. I may consider that. I’m not sure I could handle it all on my own. They will draw up my pans for $1.00 per square foot whether I use them or not. I may take them up on that. I will need quality plans anyway. They offered me some useful advice in my land hunting quest.
After some lunch, I took to the backstreets out in the country south of town where I really feel like I want to be. I drove up and down, left, right, in the middle, round the side and up the back for countless miles looking for the elusive “For Sale” sign. They were few and far between. It seems that people are just not selling any land. If they are, they’re keeping it a secret.
I saw so many places that would have been perfect. There were hundreds of little dirt driveways leading off into unseen areas through the trees. THAT’S WHAT I WANT!!! Nothing for sale. It’s hard to fathom that in so many hundreds of square miles I can find nothing. It makes no sense.
After being on the road for 8 hours I was tired and frustrated so I decided to call it quits. I drove home like a zombie trying to figure out what I am supposed to do with my life if I can’t get the only thing I want.
I came home and immediately took a shower to wash off the external film of failure. Next I wrote this blog entry to flush out the internal failure. It helps.
So here I am back in Mundania with nothing to look forward to. Kind of sucks. I’m trying so hard to be positive and keep a good attitude. I’ll feel better in the morning after I sleep it off.
Today is World Naked Gardening Day. Unfortunately due to the lack of privacy I was only able to garden mostly naked. I just wore my tiniest speedos. One day, as soon as I move to the country, I will be able to garden naked every day.
In a better world, every day would be naked gardening day.
I’m feeling really frustrated today. Time is passing quickly and I am still unable to find a few acres of land for my retirement house.
I’ve located the area where I would like to live out the rest of my life but there’s nothing appropriate available for sale. Literally nothing. It’s like people don’t want to sell any of their land. I know I need to be patient. I totally feel like I did when I was RV shopping. I got really frustrated then suddenly the perfect one appeared for just the right price.
I’ve been land shopping for years and am really serious right now. I sure hope that perfect things pops up soon. It’s starting to hurt. I spent a good portion of the day scouring the real estate sites but finding nothing. I’ve finally convinced myself that it’s OK to pay $40,000 for 4 acres. It really sucks because 30 years ago we sold some family land for $3,000 an acre. What a stupid thing to do.
Fortunately the area wasn’t really where I would want to live anyway so other than the loss of the value I’m not broken up too much about it.
I desperately want to get out of San Antonio. I can’t stand it anymore. It has to be the worst place on earth. The area I like is near a small town around 150-200 miles away from San Antonio. Far enough away not to be under the influence of this horrible place. I’m sure hoping that one day soon my dream land will appear. It better be soon!
I feel a little better now. I needed someone to talk to about it.
It has been a while since I’ve done a Quick Movie Review. I’ve watched a lot of movies but none of them have really been worth of writing about.
A few months ago I did a Quick Book Review on “A Man Called Ove”. I really enjoyed the book and was pleasantly surprised this evening as I browsed Amazon Prime Videos to see it had been made into a movie. I had to watch it right away!
It’s a Swedish film about a simple man grumpily dealing with the death of his wife while being surrounded by idiots. His suicide attempts are constantly interrupted by his neighbors.
The movie misses a few relatively important points from the book but are not necessarily missed. I still recommend reading the book first but I know you won’t. Go ahead and see the movie. It was enough to make me cry at the end.
A Man Called Ove is totally worth watching and be sure to turn on the subtitles because it is all in Swedish. It was kind of nice to hear a language other than Spanish being spoken and to see that life in other far-off countries is really just the same.
For the last 40 years I’ve been pining for a good friend but I wonder if it is nothing more than a fantasy. Each time I’ve tried I am always disappointed.
Today I placed an ad on Craigslist laying out my interests and asking for someone similar. I got a nice response from a girl who was very literate and interested in many of the things I like. A strange thing happened as I was reading her response. I thought, “She sounds like a perfect friend.” but then I thought, “but I don’t need her.” WTF?
I scrolled down and saw some pictures she had included. She is a very pretty girl but I realized that I’m not attracted to humans. I’m more attracted to my fantasy than actual reality. Does that make any sense? There’s no getting around the fact that humans gross me out no matter how good they look. That’s pretty messed up, right? I don’t know.
(This is not coming out as profoundly as it sounded in my head.)
To break it down, I’m trying to say that I don’t really want another person around me and I wonder if this is true or just something I’m telling myself in attempt to make it make sense. Still not what I’m trying to say.
I’m trying to say that my desire is false and I need to let it go and stop beating myself up. I am hereby setting myself free. I think.