Tunnel Vision

I seem to have a bad case of tunnel vision. I don’t mean physically but more mentally.

I feel that I am not seeing everything in my field of vision. I see it but my attention field is tiny. It’s like I’m too close.

Maybe microscope vision would be more apt. I’m so zoomed in that I don’t experience the peripheral. I need to step back even more and perhaps slow down. The faster you move, the less you see. I am moving pretty quickly. The question is, how do you slow down?

My current project is still in progress. Building my new house. It seems to be going slowly now even though I spend so many hours on it. There are many details to handle and time is passing so fast. I am trying to rush the job because there are many deadlines like the approaching summer heat and the spring house buying season to sell my old one. If it sells quickly then I’ll need to have my new house done quicker.

I was hoping for life to slow down once I retired but I think it is going even faster. I’m pretty sure it is temporary because once the house is done I can finally chill down.

Tunnel/Microscope vision has always been a problem for me. I concentrate solely on the task and don’t enjoy the environment. I’m not sure how but I am resolving myself to look around more and widen my view. The focus is just a small part of the whole. Experience the whole!


The Myth of Marriage

An acquaintance texted me today telling me that he had the day off for Presidents Day. He wanted to do something fun and asked me if I had any ideas. I literally couldn’t think of anything more fun than building a house. He didn’t agree. Said I needed a woman. What an ass.

LOL. I’m 50 now. The time for looking for women was 40 years ago. That kind of thing is for children. I’m over that now and have moved on to higher levels of consciousness.

I would have continued the conversation explaining the error of his ways but I wouldn’t want to damage his theory of his own future by offering facts. I could have told him that he is 51 and past it. Move on and grow up. But regular people need to come to their own conclusions. Facts be damned. You can’t give facts to other people. They are unable to accept unless they obtain them on their own. Few are capable though. It’s really sad. I’ve always had the ability to learn from the mistakes of others. If only everyone else could do the same.

Personally, I appreciate the fact that I didn’t spend my life chasing the Woman thing. I have enough money for a comfortable early retirement thanks to it. Marriage, Children, and Divorce are for regular people. I’m eternally glad I’m not one of them.

I would have asked him why he hasn’t figured it out yet. The whole Marriage thing is an outdated tradition anyway. Happy marriage died with The Greatest Generation. The first generation to experience today’s style of marriage was the Baby Boomers and perhaps it is their fault. It was the first generation where women were becoming men. Ever watch the old TV shows where women were still women? Wasn’t it wonderful? Women are no longer women psychologically. They expect and adopted all the mannerisms of men. No wonder divorce became so common. Men married to men and neither one of them is gay. How can it work? Apparently, it can’t. How many people do you know who have never been divorced? Not many I’ll bet.

Maybe I’m just jaded or maybe I’m speaking the logical facts. A woman will take your money, your time and your soul then leave your dried up husk on the side of the road. Of course, I don’t speak for all people but can you risk it? I can’t. I can’t afford to even try. A man only lives once and if you work your ass off for 50 years then lose all your money, what do you have left? There are no do-overs unless you believe in reincarnation. I’m personally hoping there is no such thing. Once is enough.

I wish I could say that I learned this only from other people’s mistakes but I have to admit that it took me 45 years of suffering to completely understand. Much of this suffering is written out for the last ten years of this blog. At least I suffered alone and still have all my money. (It’s also a shame that money is so important to living a comfortable life. There must be a better way. Don’t get me started on that.)

So in conclusion, if you are open to advice, don’t fall prey to your dick. There are more important things in life than false women and the impossible ideals of a happily married life. That died back in the 60’s. In a better world, we could just be really good friends and sleep in separate houses.

Cryptocurrency as an alternative in crashing Stock Market

As the stock market tanks everyone is bailing out and looking for an alternative way to invest their money. It looks like the Crypto Coin market is take up the slack.

Having been falling over the majority of 2018, new currencies like Bitcoin, Etherium and Ripple are staging a comeback to fill the void left by falling stocks. Is it a good alternative?

One alternative is to let it sit in cash. No interest there. You could move it to a CD or Money Market account and make 2%. Still not much but better than nothing.

I’ve decided put most of it in a 2% account for safe interest but some of it went to Etherium (ETH) and Etherium Classic (ETC) where it has earned 18% in two days.

Hopefully we’ll see a long rally. Viva Crypto!

How do you invest in cryptocurrency? The easiest way is to go to coinbase.com and set up an account. Transfer some money. Buy coin. Profit.

What have I done?

zdbrgThere are always those moments after you do something big and bold when you ask yourself, “Oh God.  What have I done?”

I was out at my new property Saturday after mowing all day.  I built a small campfire before spending the night in my RV.   I sat in a folding lawn chair as I listened to the din of a million crickets and looked up at the stars.  I stared at the fire and thought to myself, “What have I done?”

I’ve bitten off the biggest chunk a person can bite off.  Or one of the biggest, I think, next to marriage.  I bought land in the country and started building a house all by myself.  I’m throwing away 50 years of lifebuilding to start a whole new life.  All by myself.  There’s something about sitting in total darkness in an empty field with nothing but a small fire to keep you company to make you feel alone.

Loneliness is not something new to me.  I’ve spent at least 30 of my 50 years in dire loneliness.  Most of it at crippling levels. Before that I was a child so being lonely is pretty much all I’ve ever known.  Never had a close friend.  Never had a girlfriend.  Just me.  Only me.  Ok.  I’ve had two cats and some fish over the years.  I don’t think that counts.

Of course, moving out to the country won’t make me more or less lonely.  I was lonely in the city, I’ll be lonely in the country.  No point worrying about that being different.

My concern may be that doing something as major as this all by yourself is an exercise in craziness.  It’s not like I have any options though.  My life goal has been to live in the country.  I almost died of heart disease a few years ago without reaching that goal.  I had best get my ass in gear if I expect it to ever happen.

I don’t really feel like what I am doing is wrong.  Perhaps it is just the fact that it is so radical.  Change is always a scary thing.  People move all the time.  20 years in the same house is certainly long enough, right?  I’m not doing anything that people haven’t been doing since the dawn of time.

Maybe the scariest part is quitting my job.  I have to quit if I’m going to have time to build a house.  There’s no way a person can work full time and still have any to spare in order to build a house.  I have to concentrate on it with all my attention in order to get at least the framing and exterior complete by the summer meltdown.

Financially, I don’t need to work full time anymore.  My savings afford me a life of basic leisure which I may just take advantage of.  I do have that strange feeling that, even though I hate working with a purple passion, work defines you.  It’s a stupid notion that may either be a standard due to the way life works or maybe some kind of government mind control caused by fluoride in the water.  I know it is stupid but there it is.  Some people retire and shortly thereafter, die of boredom.  Boredom has never been an issue for me.  I can always find something awesome to do.

I still have at least 10 years of work-life in me since most people don’t actually retire until they are like 63.  Still, that doesn’t sound right to me either.  The thought of working for 13 more years is more like a death sentence.

I think that maybe after 1-2 years of building and resting, I may want to re-enter the job market.  Part time.  20 hours a week would be more than adequate for some extra spending money without monopolizing my remaining life.  I’m sure there will be plenty of opportunities for an amazing guy who can do anything.  Something fun and non-stressful.

I might try working for myself as a Country Computer Doctor.  I’ll make house calls.  Get me an old doctor bag and a stethoscope. (You really can use that on a computer to listen for strange sounds from the hard drive or fans.)

I would enjoy being an electricians helper.  An electrician usually works alone but an electrician’s helper will always have an electrician to keep him company.  I like that.

My first job was in an office supply store.  I still have dreams about it.  I could go back to that.  Work in the computer repair area or the print shop.  They have part time positions.

I might like to work in a small computer repair shop.  Always thought that would be neat.

Maybe the local golf course needs a groundskeeper.

The possibilities are endless.  I shouldn’t worry about that.  Later.  It will take me plenty of time to get my house and land in order.  I might do something different every year.

I might finally have the time to meet someone.  It would be wonderful to have someone to visit me at my new place.  Someone to hot tub with on a cold night.  Someone to cook with, watch movies and go traveling.  Who knows.  Perhaps the primary reason I’ve chosen a solitary life is to be able to afford an early retirement in a self-built house out in the country.  Now that that is actually happening, maybe I can look into what I’ve missed out on.

Wouldn’t that be wonderful?  I’m hoping that people who live in small towns are more friendly than those in the big city.  Maybe I won’t be invisible anymore.  Maybe someone will be able to see me and say, “Wow. Check out that single guy over there!”

Let’s not over do it.  Invisibility is a powerful thing.  I sure hope the spell will be broken.  The witch who cursed me when I was a child didn’t say if there was a way to break it.  We’ll see.

So.  I feel better now.   It was good to get it all out again.  Much of this may be a repeat but the mind is repetitive.  It’s good to dump it out once in a while to keep it from overflowing.


Quick Restaurant Review – Jimmy John’s Gourmet Subs – Not impressed.

IMG_0510I’m a good fan of sandwiches.  Especially if they are made by someone else.  Today I decided to try Jimmy John’s Gourmet subs (#JimmyJohns) because I heard somebody recommend them once.   I’m not sure why I had never tried them before.  It just wasn’t convenient or something.

I went in and looked at the menu then placed my order.  There are only two choices of bread.  I ordered “French” which turned out to just be “White bread.”   The bread is almost breadless.  Its is really just crust with about 1 millimeter of bread on the inside.  Breadless bread.  Hmmm.  Not a good start.

I moved over to where they were assembling the sandwich but my view was blocked by metal covers that hinge up and down over the ingredients.  Hmmm.   How am I supposed to select my veggies?   Bam.  They handed me my sandwich.  Wait…. What??   You didn’t ask me what I wanted on it.   Ok.  I’m new here so I took my sandwich and sat down.

I unwrapped it and took a bite.  Hmmm.  It’s missing…..everything.

I went back to the counter and explained that it was my first time here and asked if they had pickles and Jalapenos and stuff.   They gave me some jalapenos but told me that they charge extra for pickles.   Hmmmmm.

I put the jalapenos on and ate the rest of my barren sandwich.  Filling but boring and not very healthy as it contained only Meat, lettuce and Tomatoes.  I would have liked mustard on it rather than mayo but was not given a choice.

As for the “Gourmet” part.  I need to look up the definition on Google.  Let’s see:

  1. a connoisseur of good food; a person with a discerning palate.
    synonyms: gastronomeepicure, epicurean; More

    • of a kind or standard suitable for a gourmet.
      modifier noun: gourmet
      “a gourmet meal”


Nope.  Not that either.  Not sure if tacking the word, “Gourmet” on stuff makes it better.

Overall I fail to see how Jimmy John’s stays in business.  I guess it is regular sandwiches for regular people.

Personally, I shall not return.  If you just want a sandwich and don’t give a shit then this might be the place for you.  If you care at all, I would recommend Subway (#subway) where you get everything or even Jersey Mike’s (#jerseymikes) where you can get it Mike’s way with peppers and relish and have a blast of flavor.

Sorry Jimmy.  Not for me.

Subway Veggie Patty good alternative for Heart Disease Patients?

swvgptI’m a big fan of Subway sandwiches.  They are simple and easy and can be a good source of healthy nutrition for Heart Disease patients like me.

A few years ago I heard that Subway was trying a Veggie Patty meat alternative in California.  It looks like it finally made its way to the rest of us.

I’m always on the lookout for a good low Saturated Fat meal so I was initially intrigued.

The question is, “Is it safe for me?”  Let’s look at the specifications:


  • Although the Veggie Patty IS low in Saturated Fat at 1g, I was hoping for Zero.
  • The Total Fat is actually higher than all the other Fresh Fit sandwiches.  That’s not necessarily bad since that includes Monounsaturated and Polyunsaturated which may be good for you.
  • It has 70 Calories from fat compared to 20-45 for the other ‘wiches.
  • Cholesterol content is Lower but not the zero you would expect.
  • Sodium is higher.  That’s bad for your blood pressure.  I guess they are trying to make it more palatable.
  • Protein content is actually higher.  I believe it contains beans.
  • It has MORE calories and carbs than the actual meat sandwiches.

Technically, the Veggie Patty’s score for Heart Disease Safety is, “Meh.”  It’s not really “better” for you than a turkey sandwich or a Veggie Delight which is my usual choice.  I think it is intended more for Liberals than an alternative for Heart Health but it’s not “Bad for you” like a Philly Cheesesteak with bacon.

So how does it taste?  Not being overwhelmed with it’s specifications I wasn’t really interested but I’m taking one for the team and giving it a try just for you.


Not bad!   I read a review the other day that said that it didn’t really have a “Taste” and they were pretty much right.  I get my sandwiches with Everything on them so I didn’t really Taste the patty as much as one might if they just got the patty on bread.  That’s fine.  It added a good texture to my usual Veggie Delite and the warmth was nice too since they heat it up in the oven.  It was also quite filling which the Veggie Delight is not.

I give it a thumbs-up!  I kind of liked it and would definitely have it again.  If a Veggie Delite doesn’t work for you and you absolutely HAVE to have something like meat then the Veggie Patty is a good choice in my book.  Make it so!