Why do women ignore me like I don’t exist?

I am always amazed as I wander the planet that women completely ignore me like I don’t exist.

I smile at them but they are just not there.  I thought women wanted a good man.

Don’t women want a good man who will treat them like a queen?
Don’t women want a man who has money and no debt?
Don’t women want a man who will belong only to them?
Don’t women want a man who can fix things?
Don’t women want a man who is the most awesome person on the planet?
Don’t women want a man who can do anything he puts his mind to?

I’m confounded.
I’m perplexed.
I’m confused.

I believe it is proof that the women I see are not real.  The only explanation is that they are all holographic projections of a computer simulation that has not yet achieved that ability to express human emotion.  I have been placed in this simulator from birth and am being studied by aliens to try to understand the Human race in order to conquer Earth.

That is the ONLY possible explanation.
GET ME OUT OF HERE!!  I’M ON TO YOU!!

 

 

 

 

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Properly watching Naked and Afraid

I occasionally watch Naked and Afraid on the Discovery Channel.  I’m not a huge fan but if there’s nothing else on, I’ll watch it.  Of course one should be naked while watching so I hope you’re doing it right.

I’m doubt I have the survival skills to last the whole time in such harsh environments.  Still, it might be fun to try it for fun.  I wonder if people get together in groups and go out in the wild and pretend to be on the show.  I would do it.  Too bad I have nobody to go with.  Anyone???

 

Trapped!!

trpdcgeHelp!  I’m trapped in the cage of life!

I’m stuck in a meaningless existence waiting for someone to free me. I rattle the bars but nobody can hear me.  Nobody cares.  They like me to be in this cage where I can work for them and always be there for them.  They don’t want to see me free and happy.

I’m working a pointless, dead-end job again because I have nowhere else to go.  I would quit and just stay home all day but that’s not what I want either.  Not in my current suburban wasteland house anyway.

Until I can find some land in the country I remain in my cage.   Waiting… Waiting…  Wishing… Crying…

People who read this blog regularly know me as singing this same song over and over. Unfortunately it’s all I have to sing.  Now I know why the caged bird sings.  It sings of hope and freedom.  It sings of companionship and purpose. It sings of love and life.

Does anybody care?  Anyone at all?

 

The thought may be better than the real thing

For the last 40 years I’ve been pining for a good friend but I wonder if it is nothing more than a fantasy.  Each time I’ve tried I am always disappointed.

Today I placed an ad on Craigslist laying out my interests and asking for someone similar.  I got a nice response from a girl who was very literate and interested in many of the things I like.  A strange thing happened as I was reading her response.  I thought, “She sounds like a perfect friend.” but then I thought, “but I don’t need her.”  WTF?

I scrolled down and saw some pictures she had included.  She is a very pretty girl but I realized that I’m not attracted to humans.  I’m more attracted to my fantasy than actual reality.  Does that make any sense?   There’s no getting around the fact that humans gross me out no matter how good they look.  That’s pretty messed up, right?  I don’t know.

(This is not coming out as profoundly as it sounded in my head.)

To break it down, I’m trying to say that I don’t really want another person around me and I wonder if this is true or just something I’m telling myself in attempt to make it make sense.  Still not what I’m trying to say.

I’m trying to say that my desire is false and I need to let it go and stop beating myself up.  I am hereby setting myself free.  I think.

 

Geocaching

Geocaching is something I’ve been curious about for many years.  An acquaintance emailed me last week and asked if I would like to give it a try.  I was GO for that.  Today she came and picked me up in her electric car and we went to visit some of the caches in my neighborhood.   We couldn’t find the first one.  Maybe this is harder than I thought.  After scouring the area and giving up we went on to the next one which we found easily.

For those of you who live under a rock, geocaching is where you go to locations marked on a map and try to find a small container hidden by other people.  Sometimes the container has trinkets in it of which you can take and replace with one of your own.  They almost all have a tiny scroll of paper where you can sign your name and the date on it.

We searched and found 5 or 6 of them.  A few containing trinkets but most were just logs.  Most were easy to find but a few were very difficult.  One was so tiny it looked not much larger than the cap on the air valve of a tire.  Inside was a very tiny scroll to sign.

Well.  It was interesting but not really captivating.  There’s room for improvement here somewhere.  Still it was a good way to spend a few hours of a Saturday with someone rather than sitting at home alone.

We were hungry afterwards so we had lunch at Chili’s where as usual she told me all about her life problems.  I listened because she needed someone to listen to her.  I’m good at that.  I’m here for you whether you’re there for me or not.

 

Net Worth = Half a Million!

mnyvltI just finished doing my monthly budget update where I enter all the money I’ve spent for the month and add up all the money in various investment accounts etc.

My Net Worth just hit a Half Million!! What now bitches who don’t want to be my friend!

My early retirement is coming up and a life of leisure is on the horizon.  Just this month even after losing $2000 day-trading on the stock market, my net worth went up $5700.   Sweetness!

Suck it you evil bastards who won’t even look at me!