Having a Felix Felicis good luck day

Today has been a rather good day.  I woke up later than usual because I start a new 8:30 to 5:30 shift.  Sleeping later is good.

Work went smoothly especially since the boss is on vacation this week.

I had a great Thai lunch buffet.

I made tons of cash in my investment since the market is up and feeling good.

The commute both ways was easier because it is not right on the rush hour.

I was awesome at band practice this evening.  The whole band is awesome!  I’m impressed.

You can’t expect a weekday to go any better.  I figured as long as I had that dose of Felix Felicis, I should buy a Powerball ticket.  So I did.  Too bad the drawing isn’t tonight.  Still.  I have the winning ticket!

I feel good.  Let’s see if this can go on all week.

A few days later:   Hey!  I did win the lottery!   I got the Powerball number but no other numbers so I get $4.00.  I paid $2.00 for the ticket so I doubled my money.  What a lucky day!

 

Advertisements

Why do women ignore me like I don’t exist?

I am always amazed as I wander the planet that women completely ignore me like I don’t exist.

I smile at them but they are just not there.  I thought women wanted a good man.

Don’t women want a good man who will treat them like a queen?
Don’t women want a man who has money and no debt?
Don’t women want a man who will belong only to them?
Don’t women want a man who can fix things?
Don’t women want a man who is the most awesome person on the planet?
Don’t women want a man who can do anything he puts his mind to?

I’m confounded.
I’m perplexed.
I’m confused.

I believe it is proof that the women I see are not real.  The only explanation is that they are all holographic projections of a computer simulation that has not yet achieved that ability to express human emotion.  I have been placed in this simulator from birth and am being studied by aliens to try to understand the Human race in order to conquer Earth.

That is the ONLY possible explanation.
GET ME OUT OF HERE!!  I’M ON TO YOU!!

 

 

 

 

Are the 2017 Race Wars Necessary?

If you watch the news anymore, you will see that the Race War is heating up.  People are going completely crazy but is it a real issue or is it just that they aren’t seeing the big picture?

People are crying out that they are not being treated equally.  (Flashback to when I was a kid whining, “It’s not fair!” and being told that “Life is’t fair.”)  Are they actually being treated unfairly or is it just that they are not seeing the whole story.  If you have an illness and just treat the symptoms then you will never be healed.

Equality among the races happened decades ago.  The problem is that people aren’t taking advantage of it.  It’s almost like they enjoy being the underdog and like to complain.  Perhaps they are hoping that they will get a free pass to skate through life without any effort.  Life takes effort.  You can choose to accept it or keep wishing and buying lottery tickets until you die with nothing.

Black people are not as repressed as they think they are.  Look at what is possible.  Let’s look at a few successful black people:

Kenneth Frasier: CEO of the pharmaceutical company Merck.
Ursula Burns : CEO of Xerox. (And a woman!! You go girl!)
Kenneth Chenault: CEO of American Express.
Roger Ferguson: Vice Chairman of the Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve System and now on the board of directors at Alphabet.

Nobody is repressing them.  They took what life offered and made it happen.

The big picture here is that all humans are equal.  You just have to take the initiative.  Nobody is going to hand it to you no matter what your race is.

Here are a few tips to get you started.

  1. Stop sitting in your car and listening to noisy music.  Apply yourself in school and spend that time studying and preparing to make something of yourself.
  2. Stop wasting time playing basketball.  The chances of you being in the NBA are actually better if you’re black but still astronomical.
  3. Stop wasting money on alcohol and drugs.  Spend it on bettering yourself.  Buy a computer.
  4. Dress nicely and get a professional haircut.  You won’t get any good job offers if you look like a thug.  Pull up your pants and be a man.
  5. Learn to speak proper English.  Companies want to hire professional sounding people.  Make sure you can write well too.
  6. Pay your bills so you will have a good credit score.  Don’t waste money on stupid things.
  7. Hang around with quality people.  It rubs off either way.
  8. Don’t waste time and money at bars.  Go the the library.
  9. Have fewer children.  It costs $233,610 to raise a child to the age of 18.  Can you afford it?
  10. Apply yourself at work.  You have to show that you are trustworthy and earn that raise.

Look at the big picture.  The only thing holding you back is yourself.  You don’t have to be white to be successful.  You only have to be serious about it.

I’m not telling you to “Be White.”  I’m telling you to “Be Right.”  The world will open up to you.

 

Lonely or Horny?

lnlyhrnyIt’s another weekend where I have time to rest and think about how empty my life is.  I’m not saying that work makes my life better but it certainly helps take my mind of the other mundanities of life.

I usually spend the weekend at home alone because I have nowhere else to go and nobody to spend any time with.  My thoughts drift to wondering if there is anyone out there for me.  I can sometime spend hours rehashing my thoughts and trying to make sense of my loneliness.  You might think it was simple but it is rather complex.  Maybe it’s simple for normal people but I’m far from normal.

If I really boil it down until the only the essence is left, I think it is just plain hornyness.  What happens to the brain of a 49 year old man who is still a virgin?   You can bet it’s pretty screwed up in a literal sense.   In the end, all I want is someone to touch me.  It doesn’t seem like too much to ask, does it?  What kind of world is this where touching is so prohibited.

Finally, after hours of mental anguish, I end up masturbating and then all is well with the world.  I think I should probably do that early in the morning and cut out the wasted time but being horny is kind of fun on it’s own.  It’s just the lack of an outlet that makes it suck so much.   If there is such a thing as reincarnation, I sure hope it is on a planet where sex and the human body is not such a taboo.

 

Are all neighbors crazy?

I’m pretty sure that all neighbors are crazy.  I’ve watched them all my life and there’s no doubt that they are all insane.

I am currently surrounded by crazy people.  The house across the street has a family of black people who have 5 cars and come and go constantly.  Every time I go out into my yard I see them either pull up, drive away or just sit in the car with the engine running for an hour or more.  So how many times to they come and go when I’m not looking? Do they buy their potato chips one chip at a time?  Where the hell are they going all the time?

My neighbors right next door are renters.  They pretty much ignore me completely.  If I’m lucky I might make some small talk but otherwise I might not exist.  Have they no idea what awesomeness lives right next door?

I can go on and on but I’ll keep it short.  Having a crazy President doesn’t help.

I think, perhaps, people are crazy all over.  When I was young, I came to the conclusion that people are dumb because they think they are smart.  This theory may still have some value.   As closed-minded as we have become these days, our ideas are all we have and therefore must be the Truth.  (Capital T in truth because when we decide for ourselves that something is true then there can be no other truth no matter what.)

Maybe people are crazy because they are just trying to cope with pointless existence.  They are doing the best they can to avoid the monotony of a dreary daily life with nothing to look forward to.

Maybe the observers are the crazy ones.  We might think that others are crazy because they don’t conform to the standards of our own truth.

Craziness has exploded in recent years.  I think it started around the year 2000.  It was at that time when everything special had already been done and oppressive mundanity forced us to go to extremes to make life livable.  The internet became a major medium allowing crazy extremism to spread like wildfire until we were all infected.  So far, no antidote seems to be available and there’s no doubt that craziness is exponential.  I wonder what it will be like in just another ten years.  If the aliens don’t come soon then we are sure to destroy ourselves.

I guess I’m not one to lodge complaints about crazy people.  My attempts to cope with life has left me as crazy as a soup sandwich.  I’m sure my neighbors think I’ve completely lost it.  Here’s a guy who runs around naked, showers in his backyard, keeps his house and yard nice, builds TARDISes in his garage, is still a virgin at 49, has no friends, lives alone with a cat, wears short shorts and speedos, drives a Prius and has a lot of money.

Boobity boobity boo!  I’m probably crazier than you!

 

 

Another bird dies in my hands

I walked out into the backyard to turn off the swimming pool pump when I noticed something colorful on the ground.  It was a small parakeet lying face down in the grass.  I thought maybe it had run into something and knocked itself out.  Birds sometimes do that on the windows of my house.  This one was pretty far from the house though.  It was strange to see such a colorful bird in a world of crows and sparrows.

I reached down and picked it up.  It’s wings were outstretched.  It was pretty weak but was able to grab on to my finger and still able to stand up on it’s own.  I set him on the picnic table to see what was going on. I gave him a little container of water.  He was barely able to stand and tried to fly but didn’t get far.

I picked him up again and folded his wings and held him in my hand.  He was getting weaker by the second.  I hoped if he was going to die that he would not suffer much longer.  I held him and stroked his head gently.  Soon he was unable to hold up his head.  His eyes were blinking strangely.  I could see him breathing quickly.  I stayed with him for a few more minutes until his whole body stretched out.  He then relaxed and he stopped breathing.  I knew he was gone.  I closed his eyes.  I held him a little longer.  I had dug a small hole in the flowerbed a few days earlier to get some dirt.  The hole was the perfect size for him so I laid him to rest.

This is the second time I’ve been with a bird as they passed away and I was honored to be there with them at the end.  I can only hope that someone will be with me when my time comes.  I’m pretty sure I will die alone.  I’m glad that at least not everybody has to.

 

Lunch Inflation

lncmnyI usually go out for lunch on weekdays.  Mostly to get away from the office and also because a man needs food.  It is suddenly getting very hard to eat lunch for less than $10.00.

I think Subway is the only place I can go to get a meal for under $10. Schlotzkey’s (another sandwich shop) costs $10.03.  The  price of the sandwich looks great at $5.79 but if you want a small back of chips and a small drink it suddenly doubles the price.

Many dining and buffet restaurants easily cost more than $10 plus a tip.  I usually just get water.  I guess water is the way to go nowadays to fight the inflation a little.  At the end of the month, I have usually spent $250 just on lunch.  Not that I can’t afford it but it’s the principle.  That means I spend $3,000 a year just on rushed lunches.  Holy Guacamole!

I remember, only around ten years ago, I could easily lunch out for around $5.00.  I even kept a lunch log for a year or more.  I wish I still had it to compare.  Project forward another ten years and we will expect to spend $15-20 on a burger and fries.  Especially if the $15.00 per hour minimum wage becomes a thing.  Can you imagine?  Even those getting $15.00 an hour won’t be able to afford lunch.

Somebody needs to hit the reset switch.  Set prices and wages back where they should be and let’s start over.  Just divide everything by 10 and only the number change.  You will have 10 times less money in your bank account but it will still buy the same amount of stuff. Elect me as your supreme leader and I’ll take care of it.

I plan on bringing my lunch at least twice a week now.  Not only will I save $960 I will be eating healthier.  Unfortunately it will be less satisfying.  All food tastes better when somebody else makes it.   I guess I’ll get used to it.  It’s all for the best.