All The Regular People

Today was a beautiful warm and sunny November day in San Antonio.  I had nothing I really needed to do so it seemed like it was a good time to go get some exercise and meet people.

I loaded my bicycle into my car and took it a few miles down the road to a nice greenbelt area that the city has created for walking and riding.  There are always plenty of people there.  I was wearing only my little short shorts so I could feel the wonderful sun on my skin.  I rode down the way for 3.25 miles passing a large number of people who ignored me completely.

If you were a girl and you saw a nice looking white guy riding a bicycle in short shorts and no shirt, wouldn’t you be attracted enough to at least notice?  I’m dumbfounded.  These regular people are total idiots.

No wonder I am destined to be lonely.  Regular people can’t see those of us who are truly special.  We resonate at a much higher frequency that seems to be out of the range of their vision.  I may be up in the infrared region of the spectrum.  That explains why I’m so HOT!

It’s really tough living amongst them.  You really have to fight to be seen.  It tires me out.  It takes more energy than I have just to become visible.  I’m exhausted.  I think I should just settle down and stick to my own plane of existence.  It is so much easier.

Well.  If nothing else, I got in 6.5 miles of exercise today.  That’s something.  Good to help keep my lonely heart beating a little longer.

 

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10.5 Years of Blogging

tnyrckI just noticed that I’ve been doing this blog for 10 and a half years now.  WOW!  That’s a lot of words and thoughts.

My first entry back in April of 2007 was about crippling loneliness.  I haven’t cracked that issue yet but I’ve come a long way from what I was back then.   I’m only lonely.  Not crippled about it anymore.

I’m not depressed anymore.  That was a bitch of a fight but I won!  This blog was a crucial tool in helping me work through it.  I’m sure I would be dead without it.  Thanks WordPress!  You probably saved my life.

A lot of neat stuff has happened and I built a lot of things.  Certain pages have become very popular but most are lost in the noise.  Every once in a while I go back and read and enjoy all the great writings I did.  It’s all for me anyway.  If you happen to see it and it makes your life better, then Bonus!

Here’s to another 10 years!

 

 

I can’t relax

I keep yearning for the weekend to come so I can relax but I never feel like I can do it.

There’s always something to do.  There’s always something to think about.  My brain buzzes with activity constantly and it never lets me rest.  One of my life goals is to take a nap.  I have yet to achieve it satisfactorily.

It’s not, usually, until 12-1 am that I finally go to sleep an I am either woken by the alarm or naturally awake at 6:30.  That’s not much sleep.  The night goes by in a second.

I’m so tired at work and can’t wait to get home.  I get home and would love nothing better than to take a nap.  I might lie down but the nap never arrives. I’m wasting valuable time.  I jump up to do something.

My weekends are a blur of activity as I rush to accomplish all the things that can’t be done on weekdays.  The hands on the clock spin wildly as the sun streaks across the sky.

I don’t like this.  Is there any way to make it stop?  I need time to slow down again and run at normal speed like it did back in the 70s.  Doesn’t anybody notice?  Doesn’t anybody care?  If nobody does anything about it what is going to happen?  I feel so sorry for the kids of today.  There’s not much time left for them.

I guess I’m going to have to fix it for myself.  The rest of you are on your own.  I can’t help you.

Wow.  That got a bit more epic than I had planned.  I just want to relax a bit.

 

Mentally Exhausted

I find myself unable to relax anymore.  When the weekend comes I spend my whole time busying myself physically.  When there’s finally time to rest, I spend it with my mind racing to find solutions to my unfulfillable desires of friendship and retirement.

It’s stupid because I’ve already spent years processing the algorithm but it always ends up in an infinite loop.  My mind buzzes:

10 Try to figure it out
20 IF not figured out GOTO 10

Suddenly it’s Monday again and I have to go to work.  I wake up feeling like I’ve had absolutely no rest.  I wish I could shut it off.  It has been so long I can’t even imagine what it might feel like for my brain to be idle.   No matter where I go or what I do, the program is running.  I’m getting desperate to turn it off.  Drugs maybe?  What can I do?

There’s only so much that physical distraction can accomplish.  I usually end up doing both.  Really sucks.

 

Why do women ignore me like I don’t exist?

I am always amazed as I wander the planet that women completely ignore me like I don’t exist.

I smile at them but they are just not there.  I thought women wanted a good man.

Don’t women want a good man who will treat them like a queen?
Don’t women want a man who has money and no debt?
Don’t women want a man who will belong only to them?
Don’t women want a man who can fix things?
Don’t women want a man who is the most awesome person on the planet?
Don’t women want a man who can do anything he puts his mind to?

I’m confounded.
I’m perplexed.
I’m confused.

I believe it is proof that the women I see are not real.  The only explanation is that they are all holographic projections of a computer simulation that has not yet achieved that ability to express human emotion.  I have been placed in this simulator from birth and am being studied by aliens to try to understand the Human race in order to conquer Earth.

That is the ONLY possible explanation.
GET ME OUT OF HERE!!  I’M ON TO YOU!!

 

 

 

 

Lonely or Horny?

lnlyhrnyIt’s another weekend where I have time to rest and think about how empty my life is.  I’m not saying that work makes my life better but it certainly helps take my mind of the other mundanities of life.

I usually spend the weekend at home alone because I have nowhere else to go and nobody to spend any time with.  My thoughts drift to wondering if there is anyone out there for me.  I can sometime spend hours rehashing my thoughts and trying to make sense of my loneliness.  You might think it was simple but it is rather complex.  Maybe it’s simple for normal people but I’m far from normal.

If I really boil it down until the only the essence is left, I think it is just plain hornyness.  What happens to the brain of a 49 year old man who is still a virgin?   You can bet it’s pretty screwed up in a literal sense.   In the end, all I want is someone to touch me.  It doesn’t seem like too much to ask, does it?  What kind of world is this where touching is so prohibited.

Finally, after hours of mental anguish, I end up masturbating and then all is well with the world.  I think I should probably do that early in the morning and cut out the wasted time but being horny is kind of fun on it’s own.  It’s just the lack of an outlet that makes it suck so much.   If there is such a thing as reincarnation, I sure hope it is on a planet where sex and the human body is not such a taboo.

 

Are all neighbors crazy?

I’m pretty sure that all neighbors are crazy.  I’ve watched them all my life and there’s no doubt that they are all insane.

I am currently surrounded by crazy people.  The house across the street has a family of black people who have 5 cars and come and go constantly.  Every time I go out into my yard I see them either pull up, drive away or just sit in the car with the engine running for an hour or more.  So how many times to they come and go when I’m not looking? Do they buy their potato chips one chip at a time?  Where the hell are they going all the time?

My neighbors right next door are renters.  They pretty much ignore me completely.  If I’m lucky I might make some small talk but otherwise I might not exist.  Have they no idea what awesomeness lives right next door?

I can go on and on but I’ll keep it short.  Having a crazy President doesn’t help.

I think, perhaps, people are crazy all over.  When I was young, I came to the conclusion that people are dumb because they think they are smart.  This theory may still have some value.   As closed-minded as we have become these days, our ideas are all we have and therefore must be the Truth.  (Capital T in truth because when we decide for ourselves that something is true then there can be no other truth no matter what.)

Maybe people are crazy because they are just trying to cope with pointless existence.  They are doing the best they can to avoid the monotony of a dreary daily life with nothing to look forward to.

Maybe the observers are the crazy ones.  We might think that others are crazy because they don’t conform to the standards of our own truth.

Craziness has exploded in recent years.  I think it started around the year 2000.  It was at that time when everything special had already been done and oppressive mundanity forced us to go to extremes to make life livable.  The internet became a major medium allowing crazy extremism to spread like wildfire until we were all infected.  So far, no antidote seems to be available and there’s no doubt that craziness is exponential.  I wonder what it will be like in just another ten years.  If the aliens don’t come soon then we are sure to destroy ourselves.

I guess I’m not one to lodge complaints about crazy people.  My attempts to cope with life has left me as crazy as a soup sandwich.  I’m sure my neighbors think I’ve completely lost it.  Here’s a guy who runs around naked, showers in his backyard, keeps his house and yard nice, builds TARDISes in his garage, is still a virgin at 49, has no friends, lives alone with a cat, wears short shorts and speedos, drives a Prius and has a lot of money.

Boobity boobity boo!  I’m probably crazier than you!