I’m Right Here!

rghthrEvery once in a while, when I’m feeling particularly lonely, I make a simple post on Facebook.

“I’m right here!!!”

I’m saying, “Here I am.  I’m here.  I’m right here.  I’m available.  I’m right under your nose. This is me.  Right here!! Look!  Here I am.”

What do I get back?

Person 1: Are you sure? I’m right here and i don’t see you.

Person 2: I’m never here or there. Always stuck in between.

Person 3: Wherever you go.

Person 4: I don’t see you!!!

Really?  My mind boggles a bit.  Are they not understanding the metaphorical statement?  Are they trying to be funny?  Well, it’s not funny.
I’m right here and nobody cares.  Does that make any sense?  Yes, I am being a bit vague on my request for friendship but I also don’t want responses from the wrong people.  I keep thinking that the right person would understand the gist because they are also “right there.”  Maybe it’s just that the right people are out of transmission range.  Maybe I’m too advanced for the regular people.  I wouldn’t want a regular person anyway.
Advertisements

He might be naked!!!

Privacy in the suburban wasteland is difficult to come by.  As a nudist, privacy becomes very important.

Personally, I don’t care if people see me naked in the back yard.  I just worry that if those people happen to be, and most likely are, regular people, then they might freak out.  I don’t need neighbors to freak out.

I’ve planted shrubbery in strategic locations to try to screen my yard from second story windows but it is still a few years away from being a good screen.  In the meantime, the idea of having to put on clothes to go out in the yard, swim, or use the hot tub really sucks.  Therefore I am at least partially careful about offending.  Otherwise, when it’s 100 degrees and high humidity, I’m going naked whether anyone likes it or not.

It hasn’t been obvious yet that my happiness has been observed until recently.  It was cold outside so I wasn’t naked.  I walked outside to clean up the patio.  The neighbors across the back fence were outside playing with their little girl.  The girl, as little girls do, play very loudly.  I could hear every word she yelled at the top of her lungs.  One phrase she said was, “Don’t look over there, he might be naked!”

Apparently at one time I was the topic of conversation in the house.  Part of me is glad to hear that they know and have not called the police or something.  Part of me is sad to hear that seeing naked people is “bad” for them.  What a wonderful world it would be if we could all just be naked and not worry about it.

These people usually keep their 2nd story window blinds closed in which case I feel free.  I guess they peep.  That’s not my fault.  It’s not like I’m being lewd.  I’m just being comfortable.  If they want to peep.  I’m fine with that.

It’s January now and I’m really looking forward to swimming weather again.

Slow Down!!

I usually find myself doing everything frantically. I rush through it and often do a just good enough job.

I guess we all do it because there so much to do and so little time.  We get in the habit of rushing everything to try and make it fit into the tiny little slice of life we have left to spare in a day.

We sometimes make it a competition to get something done quickly which only makes matters worse.  Who are we competing against?  Ourselves.  Not good.  I catch myself rushing everything and not even remembering that I did it.  It’s also bad for your blood pressure.

All we need to do is slow down.  Live your life deliberately and appreciate the moment.  Do a quality job that takes as much time as it takes.  It’s better for your health and whatever you are doing will be done so much better.  Enjoy the task or just appreciate a little time for relaxation.  It’s difficult but if you take the time to learn then it will totally be worth it.

You’ll experience life as it should be as everyone else in the world spins wildly around like children’s toy tops until they fall over in exhaustion.  Don’t let it happen to you.  Don’t let it happen to me.

All The Regular People

Today was a beautiful warm and sunny November day in San Antonio.  I had nothing I really needed to do so it seemed like it was a good time to go get some exercise and meet people.

I loaded my bicycle into my car and took it a few miles down the road to a nice greenbelt area that the city has created for walking and riding.  There are always plenty of people there.  I was wearing only my little short shorts so I could feel the wonderful sun on my skin.  I rode down the way for 3.25 miles passing a large number of people who ignored me completely.

If you were a girl and you saw a nice looking white guy riding a bicycle in short shorts and no shirt, wouldn’t you be attracted enough to at least notice?  I’m dumbfounded.  These regular people are total idiots.

No wonder I am destined to be lonely.  Regular people can’t see those of us who are truly special.  We resonate at a much higher frequency that seems to be out of the range of their vision.  I may be up in the infrared region of the spectrum.  That explains why I’m so HOT!

It’s really tough living amongst them.  You really have to fight to be seen.  It tires me out.  It takes more energy than I have just to become visible.  I’m exhausted.  I think I should just settle down and stick to my own plane of existence.  It is so much easier.

Well.  If nothing else, I got in 6.5 miles of exercise today.  That’s something.  Good to help keep my lonely heart beating a little longer.

 

Please Reply!!!

ysnoNothing annoys me more than not getting responses to my emails.  I don’t know if it is a societal thing or people are just assholes.  Maybe both.

There was a time, when you asked a question, that you got an answer.  Now people just ignore you.  Even businesses where you are prospective customers.

I guess there are ways to be obnoxious about it until you get a response.  Maybe that is necessary today.   You just can’t seem to get people’s attention anymore.  Technology is the cause of and solution to all of life’s problems.

As far as email goes, maybe adding, “Response Requested” or “Awaiting your reply” will help.  I kind of like to go with a passive-aggressive option.  If I don’t get a response, I send the exact same email again in a few days and repeat until something happens.

I am thinking on Yes/No questions I might include the above YES and NO Graphic to try to make it easier for the weak-minded.

What do you think?

Why do women ignore me like I don’t exist?

I am always amazed as I wander the planet that women completely ignore me like I don’t exist.

I smile at them but they are just not there.  I thought women wanted a good man.

Don’t women want a good man who will treat them like a queen?
Don’t women want a man who has money and no debt?
Don’t women want a man who will belong only to them?
Don’t women want a man who can fix things?
Don’t women want a man who is the most awesome person on the planet?
Don’t women want a man who can do anything he puts his mind to?

I’m confounded.
I’m perplexed.
I’m confused.

I believe it is proof that the women I see are not real.  The only explanation is that they are all holographic projections of a computer simulation that has not yet achieved that ability to express human emotion.  I have been placed in this simulator from birth and am being studied by aliens to try to understand the Human race in order to conquer Earth.

That is the ONLY possible explanation.
GET ME OUT OF HERE!!  I’M ON TO YOU!!

 

 

 

 

Lonely or Horny?

lnlyhrnyIt’s another weekend where I have time to rest and think about how empty my life is.  I’m not saying that work makes my life better but it certainly helps take my mind of the other mundanities of life.

I usually spend the weekend at home alone because I have nowhere else to go and nobody to spend any time with.  My thoughts drift to wondering if there is anyone out there for me.  I can sometime spend hours rehashing my thoughts and trying to make sense of my loneliness.  You might think it was simple but it is rather complex.  Maybe it’s simple for normal people but I’m far from normal.

If I really boil it down until the only the essence is left, I think it is just plain hornyness.  What happens to the brain of a 49 year old man who is still a virgin?   You can bet it’s pretty screwed up in a literal sense.   In the end, all I want is someone to touch me.  It doesn’t seem like too much to ask, does it?  What kind of world is this where touching is so prohibited.

Finally, after hours of mental anguish, I end up masturbating and then all is well with the world.  I think I should probably do that early in the morning and cut out the wasted time but being horny is kind of fun on it’s own.  It’s just the lack of an outlet that makes it suck so much.   If there is such a thing as reincarnation, I sure hope it is on a planet where sex and the human body is not such a taboo.