Sometimes you just have to let go of things that are bad for you. Today I decided to let go of an old friend. I met her many years ago on Craigslist. We were looking for dive buddies. We’ve done a lot of diving and other traveling over the years. I would consider it having been a very good time.
It’s really a shame because I’ve never met someone who was so similar to me in so many ways. In an alternate universe we would have been amazing friends. She is virtually the perfect friend for me. The only problem was that she is very difficult to get ahold of. She has been very depressed because her life has not gone too well. She hates her job but has to stick it out because she has a rare pension plan. Her mom is also sickly and living with her. These things are no doubt depressing.
I’m not so cold that I don’t care and have done my best to offer my ear to her trouble and my assistance many times. She doesn’t return my emails or texts so I can only conclude that she has no interest in my company. I’ve tried as best as a socially inept person can over the years. There comes a point where you just have to give up.
I wrote her one last email today briefly expressing that I understood and will respect her wishes. I will always be here for her. She could contact me in the future if she ever wanted to.
It’s probably better for both of us. I won’t be bothering her anymore and now I can let go and move on. When it comes to friends, I have a fault of being a faithful friend. Having too many of them dilutes their value. Now I am free to look for another and stop waiting for something that isn’t coming.
I have no idea how. Perhaps Craigslist again. Maybe not. I’m pretty sure my destiny is to just die alone. It’s a strong destiny that may be too powerful for me to battle. I think I will just continue to complain about being lonely. It’s what I do best. I’m hoping for a fresh start when I retire and move next year. Time will tell.