Stop looking at me like that!!

I swear I’m not going to talk to anyone anymore.  I’m tired of getting that, “Are you an alien?” face from you.

The other day I stopped by a modular home lot to see what the houses looked like.  Before I could see anything I had to go through the sales spiel and answer a lot of questions. I can’t count the number of times I answered simple questions and got the alien face.

  1. Do you rent an apartment?  No.  I have a house.  Face.
  2. How much do you pay for your mortgage?  I paid it off 10 years ago. Face.
  3. Do you have any pets?  No.  I might get a dog.  Face.
  4. Do you live on the south side?  No.  I’m on the Northwest side.  Face.
  5. How long have you lived in San Antonio?  All my life.  Face.
  6. What is your income?  $54,000. Face.
  7. What kind of financing will you be needing?  None.  I’ll pay cash.  Face.
  8. Do you want a 3 or 4 bedroom house?  Just one bedroom please.  Face.

I was ready to slap the face right off this guy.

It’s not just him either.  I see it all the time from friends and family.  Is there anyone I can talk to who is normal?  You’re all insane and I hate you.

 

The thought may be better than the real thing

For the last 40 years I’ve been pining for a good friend but I wonder if it is nothing more than a fantasy.  Each time I’ve tried I am always disappointed.

Today I placed an ad on Craigslist laying out my interests and asking for someone similar.  I got a nice response from a girl who was very literate and interested in many of the things I like.  A strange thing happened as I was reading her response.  I thought, “She sounds like a perfect friend.” but then I thought, “but I don’t need her.”  WTF?

I scrolled down and saw some pictures she had included.  She is a very pretty girl but I realized that I’m not attracted to humans.  I’m more attracted to my fantasy than actual reality.  Does that make any sense?   There’s no getting around the fact that humans gross me out no matter how good they look.  That’s pretty messed up, right?  I don’t know.

(This is not coming out as profoundly as it sounded in my head.)

To break it down, I’m trying to say that I don’t really want another person around me and I wonder if this is true or just something I’m telling myself in attempt to make it make sense.  Still not what I’m trying to say.

I’m trying to say that my desire is false and I need to let it go and stop beating myself up.  I am hereby setting myself free.  I think.

 

Invisibility cloak down today?

invsblI had a strange experience today.  I was sitting in my favorite Thai restaurant for lunch today.  There was a girl at the next booth eating her soup.  Our eyes met and I gave her my standard, “You can see me?” smile.  She smiled back.

I ordered and read my book while I waited for the food.  She asked the waitress for some of the sweet sauce that is usually at the table.  I noticed that mine was missing as well and grabbed some from another table.  She saw me do it and I said, “Mine is missing too.”.  She asked me what I was reading.  We exchanged pleasantries across the booths and she mentioned that it was difficult to talk this way insinuating that we should sit together. (Strangely forward of her.)  I asked her if she wanted to sit together and she grabbed her stuff and moved to my booth.

We talked for a while about ourselves.  She is married. (Even stranger)  I wish she wasn’t.  She is Asian (Vietnamese).  I love Asian people.   We talked as we ate.  I wish I had asked for chopsticks so she could see my amazing skills.  LOL.  At the end she gave me her business card with her number on it and told me to text her and we’ll go to lunch again.  I gave her mine.

She had a bunch of To-Go orders to take home to her family.  I was dazed and confused but glad I went along with it.  We talked about a Chinese restaurant I liked up the street.  I’ll text her in few weeks to see if she wants to try it.

Right now I don’t know what to think.  I am especially invisible to married women so I don’t know what is going on.  I would hate to end up as an affair or something that could mess up her family.  Maybe it is nothing and she is just being unusually friendly.  That’s me always looking for the ulterior motive when someone speaks to me.  It would be nice to have a new friend if nothing else. Let’s just chalk it up to a nice experience.

Trip Report – Naked Camping

Naked Camping Day One

I had a week vacation coming up and I was in desperate need to get away. Ever since I bought my RV I had wanted to spend a week at a naturist resort east of Austin and now was the time.

Saturday morning I rode my bike the three miles to the lot where I store my RV and drove it home. I needed to do some minor work on it and load it up. Sunday I had to play in a concert so I couldn’t leave until Monday anyway so that gave me time to get prepared.

Monday morning I finished loading and hit the road. It always feels so weird driving off on vacation. It was about a two hour drive that was smooth sailing. I drove down the small potholed roads that approached the park. To get in, you stop at the gate, open it, drive through and close it. A quaint touch!
I drove up to the office to check in. The people there were very friendly. I paid up and filled out the paperwork. A guy rode ahead of me in a golf cart to show me the way to the RV camping area. I asked him which spot he thought was the best. He pointed one out and I pulled in.
I didn’t waste any time getting naked before I leveled out the RV and hooked up the power, water and sewer connections. I put the few clothes that I brought away. I won’t be needing them for a whole week! I noticed shortly after turning the water on that there was an unexplained puddle of water in the bathroom. The water line to the toilet was leaking. I replaced the toilet a few years ago but it looks like I didn’t empty the water from the lines and it froze over the winter. Bummer! That’s OK though. There’s a restroom only 75 feet away for number two and flushing number one can be done with a glass of water. I’ll look into it when I get back.

I also noticed that one of my sweet shiny hubcaps was missing. Great. I must not have put it on securely after inflating the tires. Gonna have to buy another one.

The RV area had a few permanently parked campers nestled under towering pine trees. Being a weekday, there weren’t many people around except for on RV across the way. I waved at them and they waved back. Got to be friendly! I had a quick PB&J while unpacking things from traveling position. I set up my hammock under the tree and started to read my book. I’m reading “Board Stiff“. A Xanth book. My sister got me started on them years ago. I like them because they are light reading that takes my mind off of daily thoughts.

I laid there reading for a while as the pools of sun filtered through the pine branches across my naked body. The wind blew gently. It was the perfect temperature. This is that way life should be. After a while I put my book down and closed my eyes enjoying the silence of the branches blowing and the birds tweeting. No deafening roar of traffic. Thank god! Is a little peace too much to ask?

I read some more. (I’m going to do a LOT of reading.) I hooked up the cable TV but got nothing. Oh well. Then I cranked up the antenna and pointed towards Austin. I ran the channel scan on the TV and got a bunch of HD channels. Cool! I watched “This old House” while I cooked up some Salmon, Peas and Macaroni and “cheese”. I like easy yet mostly healthy food. The Macaroni and Cheese are surprising low in fat. I guess that’s why it doesn’t really taste like cheese. That’s OK. Things taste like they do. I’m fine with that.
The sun was starting to go down behind the tall pines so I decided to take a walk and see the pool and volleyball area. I greeted the people across the way. They were very nice. We talked for a few minutes about our older RVs. It was nice to meet a fellow vintage RV person. Mine is an 82 Holiday Rambler. His is an 89 something. I forgot. He and his wife are from Idaho visiting his relatives in Houston and tripping around. They were getting ready to eat so I walked on.
The pool is very nice looking. It’s brand new. There was a group of people sitting under the shade area talking. I walked on to see the Volleyball court. I was hoping to find people playing because Naked Volleyball is my favorite sport. Nobody there. Bummer. Maybe another time.
There are a lot of sand “roads” snaking around so I decided to explore. Wearing only my flip-flops for foot protection I set off. For the most part I was able to remove my flip flops and go barefoot. I love going barefoot.. A few times the path crossed some sharp stones so I had to put them back on but otherwise I could have gone without.
The paths passed many dilapidated cabins. Most are one-room but some look like real houses. All in very poor condition. Obviously abandoned for a long time. I started a fantasy of becoming a live-in full-time maintenance man here. I could whip this place into shape. I’ve been wanting to move away from San Antonio all my life and do something simple. This would fit the bill. I wonder….
I walked possibly most if not all of the roads stopping to peek in the windows of some of the abandoned cabins. I enjoyed the walk and I think I will do this every day while I’m here. It’s good to get the exercise. I came back to my RV and read some more as I watched the sun set on the trees across a large empty field. It was very pretty and peaceful. The world doesn’t know what it is missing.

I had put on some sunscreen before the walk but didn’t need it thanks to the trees. It made me feel nasty so I decided to try out the nearby restroom/shower building. Might as well not fire up the RV’s water heater and waste propane if a shower is right there. The building is basically cinder block construction. No frills. No windows. Dark and dank. Purely utilitarian but certainly good enough. I’m not a 5-star hotel kind of guy anyway. I appreciate simple things.
It was almost 8:00 and starting to get dark. I brought along some movies so I watched, “Arrival”.

It was 10:00 by the end so I set up my bed and turned off the lights. I listened to Coast to Coast AM that I have recorded as I drifted off to a peaceful sleep.

Naked Camping Trip Report Day 2

I woke up naturally around 8:00 to see the sun peeking over the trees across the field. The blue sky out my window fresh and clean as thin clouds wafted by. I enjoyed not having to get up and go to work. It’s the best thing ever. After thoroughly enjoying just lying there I flipped on the TV. Not much worth watching on a weekday morning but I caught the weather report. A cold front is coming this evening. The low will be in the 40s and the highs tomorrow and the next day in the 70s. Perfect!

I assembled myself some waffles using the flippy waffle iron I brought along and watched a few episodes of “The Adventures of Brisco County Jr.” I’ve been watching a few episodes each camping trip. Eventually I watch them all. It’s a western/comedy/drama/sci-fi from the early 90s I think where they make modern references. I know you’ve never heard of it but It’s good stuff. I fell asleep again while watching. It was really nice to be able to do that.
Eventually it was lunchtime and I was hungry again. Waffles don’t fill you up very long. I made myself a Vietnamese-style sandwich with some unsalted corn chips. Excellent!

I was supposed to go back to the office yesterday and let them know which RV slot I decided on. When I got there, the office was closed so I walked over to tell them. It turns out the slot I took was a permanent slot that someone owns. They just weren’t there at the time. It sucked but it was OK. I got myself together and moved the RV across the road to a sunny spot. Big mistake. It wasn’t long before the sun made being inside the RV impossible. I didn’t want to have to use the A/C so I packed up again and moved to the one next door. Much better!

The temperature had already reached the high 80s and I was hot. I noticed Bill and Terry leaving for the pool. That was an excellent idea! I grabbed my towel, sunscreen and flip flops and headed off naked to the pool. The water was still quite cool in April but it felt good once you got used to it. Once I was cooled off I sat in chair in the shade near Bill and Terry and a guy named Charlie who were randomly conversing. A few hours passed as we talked about various things. One great thing about going to a Nudist resort is that these are your people. At regular campgrounds, nobody speaks to one another. When you are naked, everyone is family. I really like that. I really feel at home now. This is far better than going anywhere else where everyone ignores you. It sucks being invisible in normal life. It’s kind of like where you put on a cloak and become invisible. Here, when you take off you cloak, you become visible again. It has been a long time since I’ve been visible. It feels good.
It was close to 5:00 and we were ready to head back for dinner. I walked back to our area with Bill and Terry and went back to my RV. It was still 89 degrees but being in the shade helps. I turned on my portable fan and was very comfortable since I wasn’t wearing anything.
This place doesn’t allow any charcoal grills probably due to fear of fire. A recent fire in this area wiped out a huge number of trees and houses. Fire bad. They have a small area near the pool with two propane grills that we are allowed to use. “Grilligan’s Island” the sign says. LOL! I don’t often eat red meat anymore due to high cholesterol issues but on special occasions I sometimes indulge a bit. I grabbed my steak, tongs and my phone to use as a timer and walked to the grills and in about 10 minutes my steak was ready.

I brought it back to the RV and microwaved up a sweet potato and some jalapeno ranch style beans. It was a most excellent meal eaten outside in the shade and sun.
After that I went and took a shower to wash off the sunscreen and grime. Moveitime! I’ve also been watching all the James Bond movies in order as time allows. I watched the first hour of “You only live twice” before getting sleepy so I turned off the TV and went to bed. It was still quite warm and getting humid so I kept the windows open and the vent fans on. A cool front is scheduled for sometime tonight. Hope it gets here soon.
Around 3am I awoke to the wind blowing nicely. It’s here! I closed up the windows and turned off the exhaust fans. It was very comfortable under my nice blankie and I slept until morning as the sun rose once more.

Naked Camping Trip Report Day 3
I woke up in a rather cold RV. It was in the 50s outside yet sunny. Perfect! I switched on the heater and the TV. Being close to Austin I get quite a few channels off the antenna. I avoided the broadcast channels which spew annoying news and commercials. The TV seems most happy on the public access Create channel that shows travel, cooking and DIY stuff. The TV knows what is good. I watched a show on Italy, then Japan and then Ask This Old House.

If felt really nice just lying there with nothing I have to do and nobody forcing me to do things for them. I really need to do this more often somehow. Next I watched a few more episodes of Brisco County Jr. and took a short nap.
Lunchtime! I was a bit hungry so I toasted some bread and made myself a tuna salad sandwich with some leftover beans from last night. Perfect.

I read and dozed for a while. It was getting nice and warm now and the wind wasn’t as biting so I went for a walk in the woods. I passed all the little cabins again until I heard some hammering. There was a naked guy working on one of the cabins. I went up and said hello. I asked him about the cabin and he said they lease the land to you and almost give you the cabin if it is in bad shape. If you have a gold membership for at least a year you can lease the land for $95/mo. All you pay for is electricity. Sweet! I may consider this but probably wouldn’t do it as my main house. I really want a few acres to build fresh. It would be nearby anyway so I would still be a member. Nice info to know.

I walked back to my RV and moved my hammock to a nice shady spot and read some more. A couple showed up across the way to pressure wash the outside of their trailer. I watched as they had a hard time getting it to work. Being unable to not be helpful to others, I walked over to see if I could help. The were less friendly than most naked people would be but thanked me for asking. I didn’t want to intrude so I went back and continued reading. The man got in his golf cart and left. I read on. The pressure washer was working now but the girl had it on a tight stream and was only making lines in the mold growing on the sides of the trailer. I could help myself and went over to show her how to set it to fan. She was very happy that I had fixed it for her. I took my leave and watched as she finished cleaning it much more efficiently now.
Some heavy equipment appeared in the beautiful field and delivered a pile of telephone poles. More workers arrived and they started installing them. Apparently the poles supporting the high voltage wires that look recently installed need another one in the middle. That sucks. Now I hear equipment working instead of peace and quiet. That’s OK. I can handle it. I live in San Antonio where the noise never stops. At least they’ll be gone by evening.

The wind was still blowing hard at times and sometimes it was cold. I realized I had not really gotten any sun on this trip because I was avoiding sunburn. A little sun is good for you though so I moved my hammock into the sun for a while. It felt really good with warm sun on your naked body as the cool breeze keeps you from sweating. Perfect! I limited myself to 30 minutes on the back and 30 on the front. There’s nowhere on my body that the sun don’t shine. By the end of the summer I’ll have a great tan without sunburn. That’s much safer. Time it wisely and you get the vitamin D benefits without the burn.

Seeing the naked girl wash her RV reminded me that I wanted to clean my solar panels. I rinsed them off but they needed to be cleaned. I climbed up on the roof with some cleaner and paper towels and spicked up their span. Sparkle Sparkle!

The sun was starting to go behind the tall trees and it is expected to be a cold night so I closed up the windows to keep the residual heat in. Time for dinner so I made myself a nice Spaghetti and “meat”ball plate. The soy-based meatballs are not great and are not really necessary but what the heck. Healthier than meat with no cholesterol or saturated fat. Even the spaghetti is rice and quinoa based rather than wheat. Better for you. I liked it.

I read some more then as it got darker I finished up my James Bond movie then watched a few classic episodes of Doctor Who with Sylvester McCoy. I have a ton of them and have seen most. I watched them on KLRN back in the 80s before they took it away.

It got pretty cold overnight. Glad I brought my electric heater for a little warmth.

Naked Camping Trip Report Day 4

It was indeed cold this morning. With the low in the 40s I was glad I switched on the heater halfway through the night. I had nothing to do an nowhere to go so I flipped on the TV for a bit. I watched a few travel shows again and a couple of episodes of Brisco County Jr until lunch.

After I had a tuna sandwich and some leftover Mac and Cheese I went out for another walk along the trails. There’s no better feeling than walking around naked and not having to worry about freaking people out. In a better world this would not be an issue. If there is reincarnation, I will be selecting a naked planet. This clothes thing is suxor for sure.

The construction guys disappeared early today so most of the day was nice and quiet. They left their dump truck there so I imagine they will be back again tomorrow. Maybe they found something better to do than dig a hole and annoy us. I stretched out in my hammock in a nice shady spot and read. YAY! I finished the book. At the end, the author states that it took him three months to write the book. That’s good because it took me three months to read it. At least it was a book that I enjoyed through to the end rather than wishing it was over.
Curiously, I loaded up the next book on my kindle, “New York 2140“. It’s about a future in New York (obviously) where global warming has inundated the city with 3-4 floors height in water. Life still goes on. It looks like an interesting premise but the first few short chapters are failing to pull me in. I hope it gets better.

I wasn’t as tired today so I didn’t really get any napping done. That’s good. Maybe I’ve finally worked out the tiredness I suffer from so greatly in normal life. It’s Thursday so I still have one more full day to dilly-dally.

I went outside for a minute and a butterfly fluttered around me. I held up my hand and it landed on my finger. That’s a special event for sure. I stood there for quite some time as the butterfly probed my finder with it’s long tongue mechanism. It must have thought I was a flower or something. After admiring it for some time I shook it off. It flew around and landed on my hand again. A special visit for a special person.

Eventually dinnertime came so I had my last piece of Salmon with the other half of my sweet potato and some steamed peas. I went ahead and took my evening shower. Sure feels good to be clean. Time for some James Bond. “Diamonds are Forever”. I love watching movies from the 60s. It was a time when oil was cheap, cars still had chrome, things were still made by hand with style and people still had class.

Naked Camping Trip Report Day 5

The sun peeked through the windows and I woke up around 8:00. I had decided overnight that I was adequately rested and recreated so I should head home today. That would give me the whole weekend to take care of all the stuff around the house that can be done before I have to go back to work again on Monday.

It was still early so I had some breakfast then started to pack things up and clean the RV. Might as well do it now while I was naked than do it at home where I have to wear clothes and be uncomfortable. I had a small vacuum cleaner that I found in someone’s discard pile at the street a few years ago. I fixed it up good as new so I keep it in the RV. It was perfect to vacuum up all the dirt that I had tracked in.

As I was outside disassembling my hammock, Bill came over and asked if I wanted to go with them to the grocery store. I thanked him for asking and told him that I was heading out this morning.

Once I was packed, I disconnected the water, power and sewer; lowered the TV antenna and raised the landing gear and stared my trip home.

I was starving for a good meal so I stopped at a Chinese food buffet where I had a mostly vegetarian meal. Got to keep the cholesterol down. Soon I was on the 2 hour trip back to Mundania. Just out of curiosity, I weighed myself when I got home. I’m down to 165 lbs. I’m telling you, stick with me and you’ll lose weight. A low fat, low cholesterol diet will get you fixed up. I’m on that diet permanently. Damn I look good naked!

Well, it’s back to real life. You can’t escape Mundania. It comes for you. At least you can escape for a little while. I had a great vacation. I will be doing this again soon.

 

Out of Phase

All my life, I’ve felt out of phase with this planet.  Maybe not the planet itself but the humans that infest it.

I’m like a four dimensional being in a three dimensional world.  There’s something amazing right here but nobody can see it.  Thinking fourth-dimensionally is difficult so consider a three dimensional object in a two dimensional world.   If you could only see one face of a cube, you would see nothing but a square.  A blank face is all you can visualize while 99% of the object can never be seen.  That’s me.  The majority of me is beyond the comprehension of regular beings.  I can tell because whenever I try to share something awesome, they look at me like I’m something they’ve never seen before. You know that face they make? Like, “What?”

I’m a ghost.  If I try hard enough I can make myself visible, but without major effort, I walk the planet completely unseen.  Am I here or am I not?

Like a demon, people can summon me when they want something from me.  I’m not sure how they do it but I always seem to be there for them to work my magic and make it all better.  If they don’t need me then I cease to exist until called upon again.

What a wonderful existence.

 

 

Appreciating Awesomeness

awsmI’ve written before about the lack of other people’s ability to appreciate awesomeness.   It saddens me.

Today during a break at work, I went into the breakroom and stretched out on the couch.  I pulled out my phone and headphones and listened to a recording of my community band’s 2016 spring concert.  I listened to Danzon #2.  Listen to it here.

No.  It’s not perfect but damn!  It’s seriously good considering we is a community band made up of volunteer musicians.

As I listened to the streaming awesomeness I thought about the people I know and how not one of them appreciates it.  They don’t come to my concerts.  They don’t listen to the recordings.  They don’t give a shit.  My eyes leaked with sadness for them.

It is so difficult living in an awesome world while the zombies all around you go through life with blinders on.  I just don’t know what to do.  How do you make people stop and see the greatness?