Happy Birthday Dad

10857842_10152967334435808_4442059488339811613_nApril 12th is my Dad’s birthday.  He would be 89 today had he not died in 1977 when I was 9.  I’m sure you don’t care because everyone has or had a dad at one point.  It’s kind of common if you think about it so why should anyone care.

I don’t have many memories of him left other than the pictures my mom took.  I don’t remember what he sounded like.  Even looking at his picture seems strange.  It’s like looking at a picture of a stranger.

11220805_10152967330355808_7594170958551938337_nHe was a good man and a great father from what I do remember.  He was very creative.  He invented the weed-eater and the Jet-Ski back in the 60s.  Too bad he didn’t patent the ideas.  I can see where I got so much of my technical and DIY abilities.  It must be hereditary.

He made the weed-eater by attaching a vacuum cleaner motor to a mop handle.  He put plastic “strings” through two of the blower vanes.  It was extremely fast and violent but it worked.

I always wonder how my life might be different had he not died from heart disease when he was 48.  I’m not sure they had stents or angioplasty back then.  He could have easily been saved as I was when I turned 48 and suffered the family time-bomb.

How is a boy affected by growing up without a father?  Not having a father-figure to guide him through the structural years.  I did the best I could and now I am as I am.  I’m sure my whole life would have been different.  Better?  Maybe.  Perhaps I would have turned out like all the regular people.  Would that be good?  I’m not so sure.  I don’t really want to be one of the regular people.

Whatever.  These are the chronicles of life and death and everything between.

Happy Birthday, Dad, Wherever you are.



Giving up ETrade for now

stkmktI’ve decided to take my investment money that I’ve been playing with on Etrade and move it to my Wealthfront account.

I actually did rather well on my speculative trading and ended up $3000 higher since the start of the year.  That sounds good and it is, but it was also a bit of a pain to think about.   I put a lot of my spare money into Wealthfront a year or so ago and it has done really well.  It even weathered the recent selloffs pretty well.

That made me decide to take my ETrade cash and move it.  This way it is managed automatically and I don’t have to think about it so much.    Thinking is bad.  It is also more diversely invested through multiple funds.

I might keep a little in ETrade just for a little light trading.

If you have some spare money to invest and don’t know how, I highly recommend Wealthfront.  (Or even Betterment. Haven’t tried that.)

Wealthfront manages your first $10,000 for free, but if you want to try it out, we’ll both get an additional $5,000 managed for free if you use my Code: AFFD-IWML-XR6T-0EZG


Stretches for lower back pain relief

facet-disease--3d-renderFor quite some time now I’ve been suffering from chronic lower back pain.  It has been a bother for many years but got much worse after I fell off the roof while building a solar water heater in 2011.  There’s nothing good for you in falling off a roof.  I’m glad it was just the 1st story over the garage and not the 2nd story.

I went to the doctor and got x-rays and a preliminary diagnosis of facet disease which is inflammation of the facet joint.  There seemed to be no visible damage from the fall.

sciatica-disc-degenerationThey said I also have some disc degeneration which happens to most people as they get older.

I was supposed to go to get an MRI and possibly some anti-inflammatory injections but the pain went from unbearable to manageable so I let it slide for a while.  I never went back for the MRI or anything.

Occasionally it would flare up to where I couldn’t even walk but it generally died down to where it hurt all the time but I lived with it.

Wondering what to do, I went to a naked yoga class and learned a few techniques and then learned a few more things on YouTube.  They really helped me reduce the pain to where I almost don’t even notice it most of the time.  I’m going to condense my learnings down into a quick ADD-compatible lesson.  This may or may not work for you depending on your situation.  Be careful and don’t overexert yourself.  I don’t want anyone to make it worse.


The most effective stretch seems to be a hamstring and lower back thing.  I don’t know all the technical terms so I’m just going to do the best I can to get it across to you to be able to do it yourself.  The speedo is optional but it helps.  Naked is even better.

Find a wall and situate yourself where your butt is just a few inches away.  Your legs will be against the wall.   With your hands push your knees away from you to straighten your legs as much as possible.  This was difficult for me at first but it is important.  At the same time move your lower spine down towards the floor.  Hold this position for as long as you feel it is helping.


Lie face down on the floor and raise yourself up on your elbows.  The weight of your lower body will press down on your lower back and stretch it backwards.  Hold the position.


You can also raise yourself up on your hands for a better stretch.  Combine with push ups for a bit of a workout.


Next lie on your back and extend your left leg to the right side as far as you can while trying to face backwards with your head.  This stretches the lower back in a twisting motion.  Hold the position then do it the opposite way with the opposite leg.

I felt relief immediately after doing these stretches.  After doing them a few more times the pain was nearly gone.  I do them once a week or more often if I feel the need.

I hope this helps as many people as possible because back pain is a serious and often crippling issue.

Major Depression

Whoah.  I’ve just succeeded in dragging myself down a really deep hole of depression.  I once again realized that nobody has my back.  I’m there for everyone but I can’t name one person who would physically come to my aid without putting up a fight first.  This happened once before a few years ago and it didn’t go well.  I don’t want that to happen again.

On top of that, my mom calls me leaving a message saying that her car won’t start and she has a doctor appointment in the morning.  I’m not wanting to deal with that so I didn’t answer or call back hoping it would go away.  Eventually I called.  She changed her appointment but for some reason I still have to take her.  I don’t need that on top of having to be at fucking work at fucking 8:30 in the fucking morning.  It takes all my mental energy to get up and get there on time.

I forced myself to go to community band practice this evening but when I got to the parking lot I put my head on my arms on top of the steering wheel and just sat there.  I wished so hard that I could cry and let it out but it wouldn’t come.  Sometimes it comes close and I feel it in my eyes but then it goes away and laughs at me. You see…This is why I don’t own a gun.

I decided that practice was not for me tonight so I drove home.  I’m also curious to see if anyone gives a shit that I’m not there.

A shower often helps wash away the pain so I did that first.  It might have helped a little.  Blogging about it also helps ease the pain so here I am.  Sleep is the next best thing so I took a cupful of ZZZ-Quil in hopes that precious sleep will swallow me up and spit me out fresher in the morning.  It might work except that having to take my mom to a doctor appointment is going to bring it back upon me and I’ll have to deal with it all day long.  I’m not sure I can handle that.

I’m going to do my best to be positive in the morning.  Maybe I can fight it off when its guard is down.    God, help me and you better send someone quickly!  I’m not sure how much longer I can take it.  This horrible joke has gone on long enough don’t you think?

Angry Nudist

I know my thoughts are running away but I have worked myself up to be extremely angry with everyone I know for not being nudists and making me go on vacation all by myself.

I’m so mad right now that I would tell off the next person I see and never want to see them again.

I know this is stupid and that’s why I’m letting it out here.  You damn clothes-wearing fun-hating bastards!  I hate you all!  Fuck you and your horse!!!  Kiss my nicely-tanned naked ass!!!!

OK.  I feel better now.  Back to my lonely life.

Land Purchase: ANOTHER delay!

dlydOMG!  OMG!  OMG!!!!  Due to required changes to the plat and engineering slowness they are delaying my land purchase for ANOTHER month.  April 27th is the next attempt at closing.  It was supposed to be in December last year.  Is it like this for everyone?  Take my money damnit!

This really sucks because it is getting hotter and hotter outside with every passing day.  I need to be able to clear the brush and I can’t do it if it is 105 degrees outside.  I guess I’m just going to have to suffer.  Work will have to be done and I might have to risk heat stroke.

I also need to make arrangements for a well, septic tank and building permits.  All that needs to be done by January 1st of next year.  Maybe the rest will go smoothly.

I’m still hating being in limbo again.  I don’t feel like it is mine until I get the keys.  So many things are up in the air until then. I can’t make any plans. SUCKS!  Hurry up!


I need something

whtndLately I’ve had this overwhelming feeling that I need something.  I don’t know what it is.  I don’t think it is anything physical.  It seems that it is more important than that.

I wish I could either find it or better yet, I wish this feeling would go away.

I hate it when I think about stuff like this.  Why can’t I just be satisfied.  All I want is to feel good.