Lonely or Horny?

lnlyhrnyIt’s another weekend where I have time to rest and think about how empty my life is.  I’m not saying that work makes my life better but it certainly helps take my mind of the other mundanities of life.

I usually spend the weekend at home alone because I have nowhere else to go and nobody to spend any time with.  My thoughts drift to wondering if there is anyone out there for me.  I can sometime spend hours rehashing my thoughts and trying to make sense of my loneliness.  You might think it was simple but it is rather complex.  Maybe it’s simple for normal people but I’m far from normal.

If I really boil it down until the only the essence is left, I think it is just plain hornyness.  What happens to the brain of a 49 year old man who is still a virgin?   You can bet it’s pretty screwed up in a literal sense.   In the end, all I want is someone to touch me.  It doesn’t seem like too much to ask, does it?  What kind of world is this where touching is so prohibited.

Finally, after hours of mental anguish, I end up masturbating and then all is well with the world.  I think I should probably do that early in the morning and cut out the wasted time but being horny is kind of fun on it’s own.  It’s just the lack of an outlet that makes it suck so much.   If there is such a thing as reincarnation, I sure hope it is on a planet where sex and the human body is not such a taboo.

 

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Quick Book Review – Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

hpssWell, hardly a review since Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone is a book that needs no review.  Anyone who doesn’t live under a rock knows Harry Potter.  Strange, though, how many rock dwellers I’ve met.  People who haven’t seen the movies or read the books perplex me on how they could exist without having partaken of the world of Harry Potter.  I weep for them but am also jealous because they get to read/watch it for the first time.  How exciting!

I guess I haven’t read the book since it was first published in 1997 (Has it really been that long?) because now that I am reading it I almost don’t remember all the extra stuff that wasn’t covered in the movie.   It’s kind of like reading it for the first time.

I also decided to read it again because I just can’t seem to find any books that can keep my interest long enough to enjoy and finish them.  The HP series is always an incredible page turner.  I look forward to reading it rather then wishing it was over.  After all, it was the book that taught the world to read again.  The world sure could use another one of those right now.

Surely you don’t need me to tell you the premise about a boy who finds out he is a wizard and is swept away from his abusive aunt and uncle to a world of wonder where he battles ultimate evil with the help of his friends.  It should strike a nerve for all of us who are doomed to live a mundane life in our mundane jobs and mundane houses with no friends or future.  It’s the ultimate escape if nothing else.

I’ve you’ve never read Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, then get out from under your rock and do it now.  Seriously!  What’s wrong with you?

 

Germany or Bust

grmnytrpI just got an offer to spend a couple of weeks in Germany.  An offer I can’t refuse because there’s no way I will ever travel outside the US in the future.  At least highly unlikely anyway.  We will be visiting the areas that my ancestors come from.

I don’t have any paid vacation time left so I would have to take it as unpaid which is fine with me.  The boss is out in training today so I emailed him asking for his approval.  He basically said he couldn’t spare me to be away for that long.  I replied that the trip is more important than my job so I’m sure we can work something out.  We’ll talk tomorrow.

Basically, I’m telling him that I am going on this trip and whether I come back to work here afterwards is entirely up to him.  I’m already tired of this job anyway so even though I’m sure I’ll freak out for a while I won’t really miss the job.  I’m sure he will work it out with me but I like to consider the extremes.

Assuming the worst happens, though unlikely, I would enjoy taking another year off while I shop for land.  Perhaps get that part-time job I’ve been thinking about.  Change is good.  I’m tired of the full time thing anyway.  Work is for chumps.  I made all the money back in a few months that I spent on my last sabbatical.

It’s likely that all will be fine.  It would have to pass through multiple levels before they let me go and I seriously doubt a company fires a person for wanting some time off for vacation.  I’m not worried.   Germany, here I come.

 

 

Dreamblog – Surfing the Earth

srfatmI haven’t blogged my dreams very often lately.  Mostly because they are so bizarre and indescribable.  This time it was worth writing down.

I was on the space shuttle getting ready for reentry.  As we began to touch the upper atmosphere, I was suddenly outside with a board strapped to my feet.  It was not like a surf board.  It was more square and thin like a piece of plywood.

There was a lot of turbulence and it took all my effort to keep the board ahead of me so I would not be burned by the heat of re-entry.  The shuttle was nearby but getting ahead of me.  As I did my best to keep my balance the shuttle eventually disappeared ahead of me leaving a trail of smoke and fire.  I worried that if I didn’t keep up with it I would end up landing somewhere on earth that nobody would find me.   I angled the board for best aerodynamics without getting burned.  I wondered what it was made of to keep it from burning to a crisp.

I entered the lower atmosphere and had slowed down to a nominal speed.  I imagined that it would be better to land on water than hard ground so I did my best to find a lake or ocean.  The shuttle was long gone so I was on my own.  I saw a lake that seemed to be in my trajectory so I steered towards it.   I didn’t want to land in the middle or it could be a long swim so I adjusted to end up near the shore.  I came in fast and skipped across the water until ending up right near the bank where a large group of people was cheering me on and helped me out of the water.

Well.  That was different.

Read more of my dreams.

 

Sauce Class

Img_0277Yesterday I took a class downtown at the Culinary Institute of America on making sauces.  An acquaintance talked me into it and I didn’t want to turn her down so I went with it.  It cost $185 and used up half my Saturday.

I kind of enjoyed it.   I can’t say I learned a whole lot.  There were a couple of demonstrations and then we were divided into 4 groups and set loose with some recipes.

It was kind of fun cooking on professional equipment in a big stainless steel kitchen with other people.  Each group had 3-4 dishes to prepare and in the end we all sat down to a huge meal.  It was all good.  I learned to make a Hollandaise sauce that I also learned is 90 percent butter and 10% eggs.  Certainly not good for your heart and I will not ever be making it for myself.  Still, I always wondered what “Holiday Sauce” was.  It’s not easy to make.

I’m also not used to cooking such large quantities.  I usually make enough for one meal for one person each time.

I would say, if nothing else, it was worth the $185 for the experience and the entertainment the the opportunity to wear the spiffy chef hat.

 

Quick Book Review – Year Zero

yzroThe aliens of the universe were never very good with music.  It wasn’t until they discovered an early broadcast of The Welcome Back Kotter theme song that they have heard anything good.  Year Zero represents the beginning of time with real music.

The aliens realize that they have been enjoying earth music for decades without paying for it and approach the earth looking to buy license to play it throughout the Universe.

The premise sounds really interesting but after forcing myself to read 25% of this book I was unable to keep my interest.  As most books these days, it was just too slow and descriptive.  Maybe it’s my AT&T but I need more concise writing.  This book rambled away at unimportant things until I was worn down.  Maybe this book is good for you but it didn’t work for me.  I hate to abandon a book with a good premise but I had to let it go.

I should start a business that fixes story lines to make books more awesome.   It’s a shame to waste a good title.  No offence to the Author.

If you like details and a lot of story then maybe Year Zero is for you.  Don’t take my word for it.  I’m special.

 

More people go to work when it rains.

TrafficIt seems completely backwards to me that when it rains, everyone goes to work.  Traffic is backed up and it takes me longer to get to work.

I don’t get it.  I would think that when it rains people would say, “Meh.  I’m not going to work.”

Instead they all jump out of bed and get in their cars so they can clog up the road.

If I had a choice, like many people seem to have, I would not get out of bed on rainy days.  Those are the best days for sleeping in.  People are stupid.