I think I’m starting to freak out.
My new early-retired life is only 3.5 months away. I think having second thoughts or butterflies is natural in these situations. Today my boss, who was out for a few months on medical leave, came back and gave his notice for his retirement. He’s gone. That kind of brought it home for me.
It’s scary to make a huge change in your lifestyle. Extremely scary! I’m asking myself if I’m doing the right thing. What is it to follow a dream that may be stupid? Could it be a mistake?
Logic tells me that I am fine. There’s nothing wrong with saving up a ton of money, retiring early to the country and building a house. Financially, I am fine, but you never really feel financially fine. It’s not normal.
I worry a little about not being able to pull it off. I am doing this alone because I have to. Not because I want to. I won’t be ENTIRELY alone. My sister, aunt, uncle and cousins will be nearby. That is at least some comfort. Physically and technically, I can do this. Mentally….It might be tough.
I have some faith in my destiny. Dying along in an empty house isn’t always a bad thing. I will have ultimate freedom. I also feel that I will finally have opportunity to meet someone once the big change is complete.
I’m just a phone call away from the point of no return. Once I authorize the pouring of the foundation, I’m $20,000 deep in this project. I can turn back and sell the land easily but the $20,000 for a foundation that only I can use is probably lost. I’m reminding myself that this is what I’ve wanted all my life. Still scary!
I don’t really want to turn back though. The facts are straight:
- I don’t want to live in San Antonio any longer.
- I want to live in the country near a small town that still has the feeling of being small. (Too bad about the Walmart but it’s still a little backwards like I like it.)
- I will be near relatives and not far from Mom in the city.
- I will be perfectly fine financially. I can work if I want to but don’t have to.
- I am in relatively good health and can make it even better once I’m free of the siren call of the big city restaurants.
I am thinking that once the foundation is complete, the call of the construction of the house will override my insecurities about quitting a safe, well paying job that I hate waking up for every morning. It will take me up to a year to build during which time I won’t have time to think about stuff like that. It will help me transition to retirement.
That’s my plan.
What would happen if I was to wuss out and not do it?
- More of the same until I die.
- I would enjoy the comfort of common mediocrity.
Another thing that bothers me is that the land I bought is not 100% what I wanted. It is 80% there and I have the freedom to make it as I wish. No HOA to tell me what I can or cannot do. I think it will be fine. I will mould it to fit my desires. It’s good!
I worry about construction costs now that I find that the foundation was twice my estimated price. I think that might be the worst of it though. The foundation is beyond my control. The rest should be fully in my control. I could do without the tariffs on Lumber and Steel. Thanks Donald Trump. Bad timing!! The only other questionable cost is the septic tank. That comes next. I think the water supply should be fine. I have a choice of the water system at the street or a well. According to my calculations, I can afford it. It will be fine. It will be awesome.
Readers of this blog are probably tired of hearing about this but it is everything to me and I have to convince myself that I am doing the right thing. You are going to hear a lot more about it if you hang around these parts.
I feel better already in laying this out for you. Getting stuff straight in your brain makes all the difference. I’m glad I have this blog or I would probably implode.
The next day…
I did it. I called the guy and got the ball rolling. The future is now set in stone. (Or concrete) My path is set. Engage Number One. First star to the right and straight on ’til morning.