>Swine Flu – Are you ready to die?

>According to the CDC, the number of swine flue deaths in the U.S. over the next two years could range from 90,000 to several hundred thousand. You better stay home or get ready to kiss your ass goodbye. No work. No School. No shopping.

It’s actually a good thing. The Earth is WAY overpopulated. This pandemic is really necessary to help cleanse the planet of all the extra people. This will really help the jobless rate since there will be so many new job openings. It will help reset the economy and ease the load on the environment.
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>Another empty concert

>Every third friday is Movie Night in a small town almost engulfed by San Antonio. Our community band plays before the move. When the concert was over I put away my instrument and paused a few minutes to see if anyone would come up and hug and congratulate me. Nobody did so I got up and slowly walked to the car.

I’ve learned my lesson. The moral of the story is: Don’t invite anyone. That way you can’t be disappointed when nobody ever comes.

>The End of Friend

>For the better of two decades I’ve been longing desperately for a friend. Thinking about it the other day, I realized how stupid this is. What am I, A little kid? I’m an adult and need not these things. There are other things to do than have someone bothering me all the time. In honor of independance day, I’m declaring my personal independance. I can only hope it sticks but for the last few days I’ve ben virtually clear of friend-wanting thoughts. Apply a little Zen to my logic and I think it can be eradicated permanently. It has been the bane of my existance for so long now I knew no other way. I have the power to change and it shall be done. Wish me luck, sombitches!

>HELLO?? IS THIS THING ON?

>WTF?? I was browsing the internet the other day and came accross a blog with only one entry. It basically said, “This is my first blog. I don’t know what to say”. It had three comments welcoming him/her and saying “You’ll think of something to say”.

I’ve had this blog for a couple of years now attempting to be at least semi-profound on a daily basis and I get no comments. OK, I got like three from one person who disappeared. I realize I’m just doing this to help get the crap out of my head but you would think somebody might see it and pretend to have something to say.

It just goes to prove my theory that there is nobody out there. I am the only real being on this planet. The rest are holograms and the aliens who put me here for this horrible reality show of theirs are laughing their big green asses off. (Gives finger to camera!)

>July 4th – Air Conditioner Appreciation Day

>Today is July 4th. Some people might say it is a special day. Meh. Can’t have fireworks because it has been 22 months since we’ve had any decent rain and the world is about to dry up and blow away in the blast furnace heat. Global warming. It’s real!

I spent the holiday cleaning the house because I seriously couldn’t think of anything else to do. It was WAY to hot to be outside so I spend the whole day inside. At 103 degrees it is truely Air Conditioner Appreciation Day.