I may have a problem but I’m not sure I want it fixed. Ever since I was a little kid skinny dipping in the pool by myself, I knew my goal was to be a nudist. I based my whole life on working toward that goal. Now I’m 53, early-retired, living in a house I built myself on 4 acres of private country property where I can be naked 24/7/365 if I want to. Inside and outside. No clothing is necessary. I can go weeks at a time without ever having to put on any clothes. I have a nice all-over tan even though I don’t spend time directly sunning. I’m free of everything. Mostly…
For the last year, my 90-year-old mom has been living with me every other week. I’m a good man. During the time she is here, I have to wear clothing. Perhaps it wouldn’t be a problem if I went naked as it is my house, but I have the air conditioner set to 80 in the summer and she is still bundled up like she’s freezing. It would feel especially weird to be stark naked and sweating with her acting like it’s January in Antarctica. I suffer with shorts and a tank top during her time here. The thing is that even just wearing shorts only, I feel like I’m in a cage. I’m suppressed. Oppressed. It almost hurts. I can’t stand it!!
After dropping her off at my sister’s house I come right home and immediately feel the freedom of nakedidity again. So wonderful. So awesome. So free.
Of course, it’s maximumly great but can you go too far? Can you be too nudist? I’ve given up some important things in life in order to achieve my goal of infinite awesomeness. One of those things is friends. I came to a point where if friends would not be naked with me, their friendship had no value to me. I let them go. I was and still am unable to comprehend their reluctance to be awesome with me. Now I have no close friends.
I have a number of acquaintances but my worst fear is for them to call and say the words, “What are you doing tomorrow?” Translation: “You have to put on clothing and come do something with/for me.” They’re stealing my naked time and returning nothing of value to me. Does that sound like I’m being selfish?
I can’t imagine having to give up nudism. You might as well make me wear chains like Jacob Marley. I would be a ghost of myself and always in anguish.
I’m a simple man. I like a simple life. I have no big earthly desires for things that I don’t already have. I’m happy to be at home. I am happy to read, watch tv, work in the workshop and around the property. Life is good for me.
There is only one thing that would make me truly happy: Another nudist to share it with. Living in San Antonio, finding a nudist friend was difficult enough. Now that I’m out in the country, it’s like living in a nudist desert. I’m also shy so when I do find a lead on the internet, I don’t have what it takes to make any type of connection. I’m just socially clueless and when nudism is involved, it gets exponentially more difficult.
I’m working hard to convince myself that it’s OK to be alone. I’ve even found a group on Reddit that seems to fit my feelings. r/aromantic. I’m not really interested in romantic involvement. Sex, OK but I don’t feel love in any form or fashion. I’m not sure if that’s my nature or my nurture. That’s just the way it is. What I want is a friend in the true meaning of friendship. Just someone to spend happy time with. It’s just that simple. Simple!
As time passes I find myself less and less longing for companionship due to my constant self-conditioning. Still, you can never completely overcome human nature. In the meantime, I continue to wait in hopes that someone out there will discover me either through this blog or my other internet attempts to reach out. Waiting….
So to sum it up. If you are someone out there in Central Texas, San Antonio, Austin, Seguin, who feels the same as I do and appreciates a nudist lifestyle, please don’t hesitate to contact me. Even if you just want to be a long-distance pen pal, I’m right here. I’ll always be right here. Waiting. Still waiting…