About my brother

I never had a close relationship with my brother. He is 4-5 years younger than me. We were somewhat close when he was very young but when he became sentient, we pretty much parted our ways. We were completely opposite and pretty much fought all the time. It was probably my fault. I was just trying to have fun. I had my friends and he had his. I was as I am and he was regular. We had many things in common but our differences made it difficult.

I’m writing this to help clear my mind on the subject. I woke up early this morning thinking about him and couldn’t get back to sleep. Thinking is bad.

In the early 90s, I had gone to work and he went into the Navy for four years. I attempted to write to him but didn’t get much back. I had planned that we might get together and do fun stuff when he got out but as soon as he was discharged, he got married and died.

We saw him occasionally over the next few decades but his wife has him whipped. She is especially difficult to get along with. She will get offended at the drop of a pin so we have to walk on eggshells when she’s around. There’s no joking or having fun around her. Say one thing wrong and she will freak out. “What do you mean by that?” she’ll say with a frown. Eventually, you learn to just smile and nod. Keeping your mouth shut at all times is the best course. Not a fun experience. Right? Easy to see why I didn’t seek out any time with him. He’s completely different when she’s not around but we don’t get to see that side of him very often.

I guess that’s always the point of view of the non-spouse. I have another friend who right after high school, got married and died. I see him on Facebook sometimes but he’s not approachable anymore. Good as dead.

My brother lives around 100 miles away which might as well be 1,000. He lives a frantic life and has no time for anything other than his own interests. As long as he is happy then I’m happy for him. I just don’t need to be around him.

So last year, they magnanimously allowed my mom to stay with them while she was ill and unable to take care of herself. That lasted a surprisingly long four weeks until he called me and said it wasn’t working out. My mom is the most wonderful person on the planet but even the Pope would have trouble living with my brother’s wife. I picked her up and brought her to my house where she stayed either with me or my sister for almost a year. She’s much better now and is back home.

I texted my brother that she was back home in case he wanted to stop by for a visit. He didn’t respond and didn’t even call her on her 91st birthday.

A few days ago, his wife texted me asking for my address. I hadn’t responded immediately so she called me 15 minutes later and said, “I texted you. Can you send me your address?” It was mysterious and I was curious. Attempting to make conversation, I very carefully asked why she wanted it. She was immediately offended and said, “I don’t want to put you out.” I did my best to smooth it over and said I would send it. The conversation was over. I texted her my address and apologized for offending her. What do you make of that?

I presume that they are angry at us for reasons other than I know. During the time my mom was with them he had spoken to her about our family being “broken”. I can see how he might see it that way. We ARE a broken family but he’s the one who broke it by not spending any time with us. For the last 40 years, I’ve been taking care of my mom and her house while he has barely even shown up on holidays. She wanted to thank me for being there for her by giving me half of the house instead of a third in her will. She made the mistake of telling him that so it wouldn’t be a surprise. I think that’s what he’s angry about. Surely he can see that I’ve done so much for her and he’s done nothing. Maybe not. I would have still split it evenly with him but the way he’s acting, I don’t think I care to.

I am thinking about reaching out to him to see what’s going on in his head but on the other hand, I don’t think I want to deal with it and even if it went well and we made up and saw him more often, I don’t think I could deal with his wife.

It may sound cold but I don’t have any room in my life for that. It may be for the best that we are estranged. I think I prefer to keep it that way. He adds no value to my life. Only complication.

To Work Or Not To Work

Not working seems to be very popular right now. There are many explanations on why there are so many open jobs but nobody to fill them. Considering that just a few years ago there were not enough jobs to go around, something is definitely wrong.

Whether they are just lazy, happy with their huge unemployment checks, or afraid of the pandemic, people are leaving lots of great openings for those who are interested.

This morning I randomly decided to browse Indeed.com to see what was available and ran across a small Catholic school in need of a part-time IT Coordinator. (Fancy words for Computer Technician.) I’m a computer technician and I’m considering part-time work if any at all.

I’m retired so it’s not necessary that I work but perhaps some extra cash and some motivation might be in order. Part-time is good because I don’t want to give up all my free well-earned spare time. Extra cash is always good no matter what. That will help pay for my off-grid solar power backup system project.

So now I’m at a quandary. Do I apply for the position? It has been open for more than 30 days and they would be hard-pressed to find anyone in this small town with a better resume than mine. I’m sure they would jump at the opportunity to have me. On the other hand, I would be giving up a good portion of my freedom. I’ve done that for 35 years so it’s nothing new. It would be part-time, supposedly, so there could still be a work-life balance. Tough call. I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to try it out. I could always bail if it sucks or something. It’s not like I have to worry about a permanent record.

I’m not Catholic or Religious so that might count against me. I’m not against religion or Catholicism. I grew up going to Sunday School in a Lutheran Church so I’m familiar with the concepts. I don’t know if they will care how religious their IT guy is. Maybe it won’t matter.

I DO like the idea of working for a small “business” where needs are basic and simple. It could be a little fun.

I might fill out the online application and upload my resume tomorrow or this weekend after a few days to think it over. Maybe they won’t be interested.

What do you think? Should I go for it? It might be good for me. Hmmm..

A LITTLE LATER:

I looked at the application website and there was a letter from the Archdioces of San Antonio explaining the morales etc for applicants. Stuff about opposing Abortion, pornography and homosexuality. I decided that I would not apply because I think we need abortion to help reduce the world’s overpopulation problem. I like pornography and I’m thinking about trying homosexuality. I could fake it but it wouldn’t be worth it. People need to be allowed to be themselves and I don’t think that kind of oppression is good for anyone. I think this will be a hard pass.

If it was perhaps another religion I might give it a go but Catholicism is far too oppressive. Don’t need that. Something better will come up if it was meant to be. Good thing I’m not in a rush but I might as well take advantage of all the job openings nobody wants to apply for.

Wonderful Darkness

Ahhh. Wonderful darkness. Night Time. All the lights are off. Nobody can see me. Nobody knows I’m here. Nobody can laugh at me. Nobody can hurt my feelings. Nobody can make me feel bad.

I love the night. I love the feeling when I lie down in bed and turn off the lights. The darkness in my bedroom is complete. There are no LEDs casting a faint glow. No streetlights through the window. It’s total darkness. I can’t even tell if my eyes are open or closed.

It feels especially good on a day where I’ve been out in public. All the dumb things I’ve done as I try to exist among the regular people are washed away by the flooding darkness. It envelopes me and carries it all away.

There’s nobody around my house out here in the country but even if I was out in the middle of the desert or ocean, I never can shake the feeling of being watched. The darkness shields me from any observers unless maybe they have infrared goggles. Seems unlikely. I’m pretty sure that my primary watcher is myself. I can’t even see myself in the dark so ha ha!!

Often when I come home, I feel sick. I feel sick about what I’ve done and said and experienced even if it was all good. I wish I could take it back somehow. I don’t know how else to really describe it but that seems to make some sense. It’s so much better if I don’t interact with anyone, ever. Yes, that causes incredible loneliness but what’s better? Loneliness or guilt? I think I prefer the loneliness.

Along with darkness comes sleep. Sometimes with the aid of a sleeping pill if the sickness is too powerful. Sleep is even better than darkness to wash away the badness. Combine the two and you get the strongest mind detergent possible. I’m so glad I don’t have to get up and go to work anymore. Sometimes late in the night, I’ll put on my eye covers so even the morning light cracking through the curtain edges can’t ruin my darkness therapy.

Beautiful darkness. You are my security blanket. You are my huggy pillow. You are my best friend. I love you so much. Thank you for always being there for me at the end of the day. Darkness. You are the light at the end of my tunnel.

Finally some freedom!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

My 90-year-old mom has been staying with me for the last year since she almost died of kidney failure. She was on Hospice for most of that time and stayed with either me or my sister on alternating weeks. She has been slowly getting better and better over that year. Starting with a kidney eGFR of 8 she has now gotten up to something like 24. I can’t remember the number but it is far better and at a livable level. They discharged her from at-home hospice care and she is feeling well enough to try living by herself at her house again.

We decided to try it so we packed everything up in my truck and moved her back home. She feels good and looks good. She’s strong enough to do just about everything for herself again. With a little help from her neighbors, I think it will go well for her as long as nothing bad happens like a fall or another urinary tract infection.

I went to the grocery store and stocked her kitchen up with easy-to-prepare meals, drinks, and snacks. I built a railing to help her get down a couple of steps and to the front door in case she needs to let someone in. We’ve prepared everything we can think of and she’s gung-ho to be back home again. We’ll be in touch every day to make sure all is well. I’m about an hour away if it should become necessary to visit. I’ll be visiting anyway once or twice a week at first. Then maybe once a week if all is going well.

She’s really happy to be back home and I’m happy to get my house back. I’m happy to get some of my life back as well. I don’t have MUCH of a life but I do appreciate having my time and space back. I was really starting to feel trapped. I was beginning to ask myself when MY time would come? I’ve waited 53 years to live and still haven’t. Let’s not dwell on my loneliness though. I want to dwell on regaining my freedom to have the option of living. Even if I can’t and don’t know how, at least I have hope that at any moment, I will have the ability to live should the opportunity present itself.

My next few days will be spent regaining my individuality. I will be granting no requests until it has been properly restored. That means plenty of couch surfing, reading, and fun home projects. That means multiple days straight of not wearing any clothing at all. Nakedidity rules!

Freedom is good. I recommend it.

The Plastic Apocalypse. So, are you going to do anything about it?

You might have no idea but look around you and you might see how much plastic is being used. Just about everything you buy comes in a plastic container. Plastic became the go-to packaging medium in the 1960s. Yes. The world still worked before then.

Plastic is a wonderful and useful invention and is even recyclable. The problem is that even though the labels clearly invite you to recycle them, they pretty much all end up in the landfill and are not reused as promised. Why? The answer is complex but basically boils down to the cost. It’s cheaper to make new plastic from petroleum than it is to recycle it. In the landfill, it will sit there for 1000s of years or longer as buried plastic is unaffected by sun and weather to help break it down. Biodegradeable plastic was invented decades ago but nobody is using it because it costs more.

Plastic is floating around in the ocean in vast swirling vortexes where it pollutes the water and kills fish. People keep coming up with large-scale ideas on how to clean it up but the patches are so large it’s just unrealistic. Too costly. What would you do with it after removing it from the ocean anyway? Put it in landfills. Better but not really.

What can be done and who needs to do it? YOU are the answer. As with all other changes, they must be initiated by the consumer.

  1. We need to demand that products be packaged in actually recycled materials.
  2. We must demand that the used items are properly collected and actually recycled.
  3. We can demand that plastics be replaced by aluminum and glass which are easily recycled.

Make your demands known by using your purchasing power. Buy only canned and bottled products and make sure to recycle them. Avoid the plastic! Yes, It’s difficult but if you don’t start now then when?

Do whatever you can to get The Media to put pressure on recycling in order to shame those with the power into making it work more effectively. Write to your local news station. Call national news outlets asking for stories. Write your own stories and submit them. People need to know what’s going on and companies need to care.

Blog about it! Tweet about it. Facebook about it. Get it out into the great consciousness.

We are in the midst of major world changes so hopefully plastic and recycling can be one of them. Do you care? Shouldn’t you care? Shouldn’t we all care?

Can you be TOO Nudist?

I may have a problem but I’m not sure I want it fixed. Ever since I was a little kid skinny dipping in the pool by myself, I knew my goal was to be a nudist. I based my whole life on working toward that goal. Now I’m 53, early-retired, living in a house I built myself on 4 acres of private country property where I can be naked 24/7/365 if I want to. Inside and outside. No clothing is necessary. I can go weeks at a time without ever having to put on any clothes. I have a nice all-over tan even though I don’t spend time directly sunning. I’m free of everything. Mostly…

For the last year, my 90-year-old mom has been living with me every other week. I’m a good man. During the time she is here, I have to wear clothing. Perhaps it wouldn’t be a problem if I went naked as it is my house, but I have the air conditioner set to 80 in the summer and she is still bundled up like she’s freezing. It would feel especially weird to be stark naked and sweating with her acting like it’s January in Antarctica. I suffer with shorts and a tank top during her time here. The thing is that even just wearing shorts only, I feel like I’m in a cage. I’m suppressed. Oppressed. It almost hurts. I can’t stand it!!

After dropping her off at my sister’s house I come right home and immediately feel the freedom of nakedidity again. So wonderful. So awesome. So free.

Of course, it’s maximumly great but can you go too far? Can you be too nudist? I’ve given up some important things in life in order to achieve my goal of infinite awesomeness. One of those things is friends. I came to a point where if friends would not be naked with me, their friendship had no value to me. I let them go. I was and still am unable to comprehend their reluctance to be awesome with me. Now I have no close friends.

I have a number of acquaintances but my worst fear is for them to call and say the words, “What are you doing tomorrow?” Translation: “You have to put on clothing and come do something with/for me.” They’re stealing my naked time and returning nothing of value to me. Does that sound like I’m being selfish?

I can’t imagine having to give up nudism. You might as well make me wear chains like Jacob Marley. I would be a ghost of myself and always in anguish.

I’m a simple man. I like a simple life. I have no big earthly desires for things that I don’t already have. I’m happy to be at home. I am happy to read, watch tv, work in the workshop and around the property. Life is good for me.

There is only one thing that would make me truly happy: Another nudist to share it with. Living in San Antonio, finding a nudist friend was difficult enough. Now that I’m out in the country, it’s like living in a nudist desert. I’m also shy so when I do find a lead on the internet, I don’t have what it takes to make any type of connection. I’m just socially clueless and when nudism is involved, it gets exponentially more difficult.

I’m working hard to convince myself that it’s OK to be alone. I’ve even found a group on Reddit that seems to fit my feelings. r/aromantic. I’m not really interested in romantic involvement. Sex, OK but I don’t feel love in any form or fashion. I’m not sure if that’s my nature or my nurture. That’s just the way it is. What I want is a friend in the true meaning of friendship. Just someone to spend happy time with. It’s just that simple. Simple!

As time passes I find myself less and less longing for companionship due to my constant self-conditioning. Still, you can never completely overcome human nature. In the meantime, I continue to wait in hopes that someone out there will discover me either through this blog or my other internet attempts to reach out. Waiting….

So to sum it up. If you are someone out there in Central Texas, San Antonio, Austin, Seguin, who feels the same as I do and appreciates a nudist lifestyle, please don’t hesitate to contact me. Even if you just want to be a long-distance pen pal, I’m right here. I’ll always be right here. Waiting. Still waiting…

Are you prepared or not?

These are strange times we are living in and they keep getting stranger. The whole world seems to have gone insane. Are we approaching the end of the world as we know it? Maybe. Maybe not.

Every generation has felt that they may be the last as the world spins faster and faster around the vortex of the drain in the bathtub. We look back at some of those past generations to see that some were pretty close to being destroyed but most were nothing compared to what we are seeing today. During the Cold War, the end was only a breath away but the destruction was averted.

Today we are seeing a different kind of destruction. The destruction of the human mind. Maybe things aren’t really that much different but with the availability of information, it looks bad. We take in that information and process it until we become completely insane and do stupid things. Maybe we are being conditioned externally. Maybe it is just human nature. Either way, the spiral looks to be unstoppable at this point.

The world may not even be physically destroyed. It must just be so overpopulated that existence becomes a struggle. Water shortages are already happening. Energy shortages and power outages may not be far behind. Food shortages may begin as farmland is either wiped out by drought or is converted into suburban subdivisions to fill the need for housing in an overpopulated world.

So should you be preparing for the worst? It wouldn’t hurt. It might even be pointless. You can go pretty far down the rabbit hole if you think about it too much. You might even be contributing to the insanity. Still… Being somewhat prepared to save your life and your family might be prudent.

I’m not going to go into a list of preparations because you have the internet for that. I’m just going to tell you that you might want to get off your ass and get started. And now! Preparing is no longer something to think about. You need to do it before everyone else wakes up and the resources you need are no longer available. You’re seeing it now so it may already be too late.

You need to plan for your food, water, power, and security. Garden, water well, generator/solar and maybe some guns. Yeah. Perhaps that sounds crazy but is it really?

Getting started is hard. It may be expensive to be ready for the worst. It doesn’t have to be. Is it a waste of money? If it comes to the worst, you won’t have access to your digital money anyway. It will be as good as gone so a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. Right? Money spent on supplies is money in the bank.

Even I’m not as prepared as I should be and I’m writing this to convince myself to get my butt in action. I still need to buy the parts for my back up solar power system. I need to buy large water tanks or drill a well. I need to get my hydroponic garden built. I’m struggling with myself at spending the money and time. Maybe we have time. Maybe there’s nothing to worry about. Maybe it’s already too late. What a conundrum. These are strange times indeed. I wish you luck.

Advice to my cat

My Dear Cat,

You came to me on your own and decided you wanted to live here and be my friend. I appreciate that. Your presence makes my life that much less lonely and that means a lot to me. However, you have a boyfriend outside who is calling to you. I’ve watched you avoiding him and giving him the cold shoulder. You come into the house to get away from him. He seems nice. I just want you to realize that you shouldn’t pass up the opportunity. Having someone want you is very rare. Extremely rare. I don’t know for sure if you are spaded or not but if you are then I hope you don’t let the chance of experiencing love get away from you. Don’t stay alone out of a feeling of loyalty to me. I can tell you that love doesn’t present itself very often in our short lifetimes. If you miss it, you may be sorry forever. You’re still young and pretty. Nobody wants us when we are old and ugly. Take it from me… Be happy if you can. Love is impossible for me. Don’t let it pass you by.

A Proposal for The New World Order

For years now I’ve been searching for books that depict the New World Order from the view of the Order itself. I just can’t seem to find anything. Surely there has to be some kind of fictional writing describing life under a NWO. I can’t even find any non-fiction describing the order as it is imagined.

All I see is people writing about how BAD it would be. Where is this coming from? How could it possibly be bad? The world we live in now could not get much worse. We’ve been sliding downhill since the 50s and I’m pretty sure we’re about to hit the bottom any day now.

I guess I’ll have to try to imagine it myself. Let’s see here:

  1. One World Government to unite all the countries and races.
  2. No more individual, backward country governments.
  3. The Population has been reduced to a sustainable level. Around 2-4 billion. (Key point.)
  4. Population control is in place to prevent overpopulation.
  5. Bad people are re-educated.
  6. Secure voting through the internet for ALL purposes. Everyone votes because it is easy.
  7. Simplified government.
  8. Quality health care for everyone.
  9. Quality education available to all.
  10. Single language for maximum communications.
  11. No more religion; removing the need to judge and oppress others. Replaced with Unviersal Morality Code.
  12. Free trade between continents.
  13. Easy travel worldwide. Live anywhere you like.
  14. Plenty of jobs thanks to less competition.
  15. Energy is plentiful; easily handled by renewable sources since overconsumption has been eliminated.
  16. Water is plentiful and clean.
  17. Climate returns to normal.
  18. Food is plentiful and sustainable since so much is no longer needed.
  19. Less housing is needed; returning suburban sprawl to farmable land.
  20. More public land is available for recreational activities.
  21. Clothing is no longer required.
  22. Goods and services are less expensive thanks to lower cost of living.
  23. Four day work week since scrambling for money is no longer necessary.
  24. Global retirement available at the age of 50.
  25. Development of space travel and colonization of the moon and other planets.
  26. Flying cars, Jetpacks and moving sidewalks. Nuff said.
  27. Free time for family, relaxation and entertainment.
  28. Still a Capitalist society but not so frantic since cost of living is lower.
  29. Houses located on at least an acre of land so you have room to live.
  30. Fossil fuels OK because much less is being used. Mostly electric.
  31. All goods are recycled.

How could anyone not agree? There may be some initial unpleasantness but after that, it’s smooth sailing and living happily ever after.

Vote Max Power for World President and I promise you a much better future. The future can be now.

Feel free to use my idea if you want to write a book. Just give me 1% of the profits.

New 8% tip rate for $15/hour waiters.

As the minimum wage rate for US workers rises to $15 an hour, should we still leave 15-20% tips on the table?

As the cost of wages increases, the price of your meal has also increased. The cost of a simple meal has more than doubled and in many situations, tripled. Just a short time ago, I regularly paid no more than $5.00 for eating out at lunch every day. I left $1.00 on the table as a tip. I know because I wrote an app on my work computer to remind me to enter the total each day when I came back to the office.

Now you will have to consider yourself lucky if you can eat a quality meal without spending more than $12 including a tip. I’m not talking about McDonalds where you should not be eating anyway. That’s bad for you no matter how you slice it. Don’t do it if you value your health and that of your children.

Now that uneducated workers are being paid an incredible amount should we be adding another 20% on top? That’s becoming a heavy burden on the customer.

Let’s say a waiter services 5 tables in an hour and each table has two customers. A 20% tip on $12 is $2.40. Multiply times 10 customers that’s $24.00 an hour. Add the $15 wage and that person is making $51 an hour. If he works 6 dining hours a day that is $306 per day. Multiply by 20 weekdays that’s $6200 a month. That’s twice what I made in my educated and skilled office IT job.

Hmmm. I’m not feeling very sorry for them anymore. Yeah, the job sucks but most jobs do. That’s the definition of a job. Waiting tables is not supposed to be a career. It’s a temporary position until you graduate and move on to a real career. Now there’s not much motivation to get smart and move up. But I digress.

The purpose of a TIP is motivation. It was never intended to be a substitute for low wages. We have a problem here. Now that a waiter makes top money, we no longer need to supplement their earnings. We can’t necessarily NOT leave a tip otherwise we are not expressing thanks and offering motivation for promptness. We just don’t need to leave massive amounts unless there’s a good reason like special service or you were an asshole to him/her.

I propose the new standard tip be set at 8%. On a $12 meal, that’s approximately $1.00. You’re welcome to leave more if you feel it is warranted but you should not be made to feel guilty if you don’t leave more. Eating out is supposed to be a pleasant experience, not a stressful and financially difficult one.

Businesses could discourage tipping since it is not financially necessary however some kind of tip seems appropriate for service work.

I do not leave a tip when I pick something up. If not being served at a table then it’s not necessary.

I limit the number of times I eat out because it’s just too expensive now. The bill for a family of three at a basic restaurant can easily total up to $60.00 plus tip. Who can afford that? Good thing I’m single.

Times are changing quickly. Everything must adapt or risk being off-balance. When you can no longer afford to eat out, we all suffer. Eating out is the national pastime of the United States. Don’t let it die like Baseball did.